The Chocolate Diet

I have just figured out how to make a billion dollars.

I'm going to write a diet plan that lets you eat chocolate all day long and then have a small piece of fish or a skinless boneless chicken breast with broccoli and sweet potatoes for dinner every night. And that's it. Okay, maybe drink a lot of water too.

There will be an 800 calorie version and a 1200 calorie version depending on how quickly you want to lose the weight. So that works out to be about 400 - 700 calories a day of chocolate, the rest will be for the fish or chicken dinner.

You won't have to exercise; actually you'd probably faint if you did, so big bonus, no exercise. You can lie around watching TV all day.

I'm going to call it the Chocolate Diet, that's catchy.

It would probably be better if I had gone to medical school and become a doctor because apparently if you want to make a ton of money on a weight loss plan it helps if you are a doctor so that people will buy into your plan. But hopefully people will be too excited about the chocolate part to miss out that I am not an MD.

Then I should hire a lawyer so I can write up some kind of disclaimer so no one will sue me.

Oh, and then I'll have to schmooze with some movie stars who are trying to lose weight so I can get some endorsements and then everyone will want to look like them. And come on let's face it; movie stars are really credible when it comes to weight loss and who doesn't want to look like them?

And then I'll get my publisher to get me on the talk show circuit and everyone will want to just eat chocolate and lose all the weight they want to.

It will be fabulous.

I will be famous.

You want to fit into a size 4 jean, eat chocolate!

You want to be happy all day long because you fit into size 4 jeans, eat chocolate!

Yes, sir. I'll get rich on this new diet that will help you lose all the weight you ever wanted to.

Who cares that you may feel ill, weak, and slightly nauseated most of the time? Who cares that you will gain all the weight back and then some after you go off my new amazing diet? Who cares that you will actually lose muscle mass and gain more body fat after? You will fit into those size 4 jeans for about two whole days. And it might actually be worth sacrificing your long term health to look good for 48 hours.

Yes, if the Cookie Diet and the Ice Cream Diet made billions for their authors why not the Chocolate Diet making millions for me?

Sound insane? Yup, it should. In the pursuit of losing weight all too often we lose our common sense in the process.

Any diet that restricts calories works. You knew that. If you want to lose weight you have to lower your calorie intake and up your exercise quotient, try to reduce your stress levels and get a good night sleep.

And because I believe in long term health and the truth I guess I'll just have to take a pass on my new quick weight loss scheme.

So it's back to watching portion sizes and back to working out. And it's back to eating fruits and vegetables, whole grains, heart healthy fats, small portions of nuts, low fat dairy, beans, fish, poultry, extra lean meats, and a small piece of really great dark chocolate every day to make your soul sing.