Even little children can be full of big anger.
That's the lesson parents should take from the Grade 3 students suspended from a Georgia elementary school after being accused of an elaborate plot to restrain and attack their teacher, childhood behaviour experts say.
While third grade may seem awfully young to harbour such alleged thoughts (and some experts say they doubt the children would have gone through with it), a child who doesn't know how to properly channel anger may be susceptible to such behaviour, say anger management experts who deal with children.
Parents need to help their children manage their anger, talk about right and wrong and monitor their children's behaviour, the experts said - even at a very early age.
"Say, 'It's OK to have feelings of anger, but it's not OK to hurt people,"' said Lea deFrancisci of the Child Study Center at New York University.
If a child says he wants to hit his teacher, a parent should follow up with questions and a lesson on proper behaviour, she said.
Parents shouldn't worry that talking with their young children about negative feelings will have a negative impact, deFrancisci said.
"You're never putting an idea in your kid's head by asking about it," she said. "Parents can't be afraid to talk about taboo topics."
During the conversation, parents need to stress the differences between right and wrong, said Lisa Pion-Berlin, president of Parents Anonymous in Los Angeles.
"Hitting someone is not going to solve any problems. It's not going to make you feel better and there will be consequences, too," she said.
Then the parent needs to offer a workable solution that lets the child know his or her feelings will be addressed, she said.
And remember, teaching kids how to manage emotions is an ongoing process; it's not about just one Big Talk.
"Parents need to tune into their kids' emotional state," said Pion-Berlin added.
Don't dismiss a child's embarrassment over an incident at school, worries about a test grade or fight with a friend, added Andy Reitz, a child consultant with the Child Welfare League of America in Boston.
"When kids do get angry, adults have to take them seriously," he said.
Parents should become concerned if a child has many episodes of extremely angry behaviour over an extended time period, he said. Doctors, school psychologists and mental health professionals can help parents identify problems, he said.
For more typical childhood anger, he recommends introducing strategies such as counting backward from 10 or taking deep breaths.
He also recommends watching for inappropriate behaviour and addressing it immediately.
"Issues can't be corrected if you're not there to see it," he said.
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How to help your child with anger: some tips from the experts
Helping your child manage anger is an ongoing process. Parents need to:
-Take kids' feelings seriously
-Allow your kids to see you experience a variety of feelings
-Instil a sense of right and wrong in your child
-Create an environment where they feel comfortable opening up to you
-Work with them to find productive solutions to problems
-Offer constructive alternatives to violence such as writing a journal, kicking a soccer ball or riding a bike
