3 Easy Steps to Being Happy

A ton of recent studies link positive thinking to reduced stress, better health and overall enhanced mood. And while some people may seem hard-wired to be perpetually chipper, the rest of us can take heart: it can be learned. Here's how:

1. Take responsibility.
Montreal-based life coach Annick Robinson says clients track her down when they feel their life is in a rut. "They have limiting beliefs programmed into them", which reinforce negative thoughts like not being smart or pretty enough, she says.
To break through, Robinson says you must accept 100% responsibility for your life – both the failures and the fabulousness. Next, for each decision you make in a day, ask yourself: "Is this healing or hurting me?"
The Payoff: By weeding out negativity in everyday decisions, you're encouraged to make ones that are good for you. "When you make an effort, it's amazing how you can transform yourself," Robinson says.

2. Keep expectations in check.
It's a simple truth: expectation can lead to disappointment. And life, for the most part, is out of our control. "Expectation is a major root cause of all our unhappiness," says Dr. Chandrakant Shah, professor emeritus at Dalla Lana School of Public Health at the University of Toronto. Accept that you can't really change anyone but you. When you come up against a taxing family member or an idiosyncratic colleague, your frustrations are typically tied to what you expect of them. In that challenging moment, practice acceptance.
The Payoff: This isn't about shirking responsibility or being a pushover. Being more tolerant of people leads to less disillusion and greater inner contentment, says Dr. Shah. "Accept people as they are."

3. Practice happiness.
Most people don't notice when negative thoughts cross their minds, says Vancouver-based psychologist Dr. Gordon Reid. To become optimistic, you need to practice. "Take 30 seconds out of the day to just pay attention to your breathing," he says. To help focus, Dr. Reid suggests thinking of the number one while inhaling, and the number two when exhaling. The goal is to be present and in the moment. "The stopping of our thoughts and identifying with our bodies naturally relaxes us."
The Payoff: A calm, reflective mindset which becomes the basis of a more hopeful outlook.

The Bottom Line
Ms. Robinson: "There are days when you bump up against obstacles. Life is chaotic and life is hard. Keep governing yourself."
Dr. Shah: "The goal is to be content within yourself. To get there, be patient."
Dr. Reid: "Don't expect overnight transformation. It takes work. You have to practice long enough to find the value."