I don't own a cottage or a cabin, but several of my friends do and I am one of those lucky people who get invited up for a weekend.
Now, anyone can get invited up once, the trick is getting invited back. Here are some tips to guarantee that your weekend at a cottage won't be a fleeting memory in your past.
Food Tips:
-- Ask what the host would like you to bring. If they say "Nothing" they're lying. Every host wants you to bring something, they just don't want to sound like they want you to bring something, but believe me, they want you to bring something, unless they're independently wealthy and they love the idea of looking after you. Even so, ask what they'd like you to bring up, no one likes to be taken advantage of.
-- Fridge space is usually at a premium in cottage country. If you brought a ton of perishables the host didn't need, want, or like; they're going to rot. Offer to bring up a dinner complete with beverages. A bag of chicken breasts marinating in lemon juice, extra virgin olive oil, pureed garlic and minced fresh herbs is a great idea. Make it at home, bring it up marinating on ice and store in the fridge till dinner time. Pack some fresh asparagus, new potatoes and a salad. Grill the asparagus, steam the potatoes, toss the salad and grill the marinated chicken. Make sure to discard the marinade. Viola. Fab dinner. Serve with a cold crisp white wine and even if you burn the chicken no one will care.
-- Never go rummaging through the fridge and make yourself something to eat without asking. You may have just eaten tomorrow night's dinner.
-- Speaking of dinner, asking the host what's for dinner right after lunch is considered bad form.
-- Unless everyone else is on a mission to alcoholic nirvana, don't be the only one who gets bombed. Getting totally whipped out of your head and then discussing your latest sexual habits may sound funny in your head, out loud and drunk, not so much.
-- Don't help yourself to the host's stash of brewskees, or go nuts in the liquor cabinet. Bring enough for everyone. That means that six beers for a weekend aren't going to cut it. Bring lots. It won't go bad.
-- If you brought up four Cornish Hens and there is one left, don't ask to take it home.
Etiquette:
-- Never show up early. I usually call just as we're leaving so our friends will have a vague idea when we'll arrive. Works very well if they're planning on smart martinis waiting for you on the dock.
-- Bringing along an uninvited guest is a guarantee you and your buddy won't be back. This applies to pets as well. Bringing your beloved German Shepard, Wilbur, who smells like a dead raccoon on a good day to a cottage that isn't dog friendly? You won't be back.
-- Boats and most water toys of any kind are expensive to run. Going out on the Seadoo may be a blast for you, but remember they don't run on air. Boat gas is very expensive, especially this year. Offer to pay for a full tank of gas. If they don't let you, at least you offered and they won't think you are a self-centered nincompoop. They may later if you didn't take the advice about the drinking thing, but right now you're on solid ground.
-- Respect that although you're just there for a couple of days the people who own the place are there for the season, so don't be leaving wet bathing suits or towels on the floor. Better yet, be extremely tidy. No one ever gets demerit points for being tidy. My partner Scott, who barely knows what a vacuum cleaner looks like at home, always vacuums our room when we leave on Sunday night. Huge brownie points.
-- When you receive an invite it always includes an arrival and departure time. "We'd love to have you over for the weekend. How about coming up Friday night and then we'd like to see the last of your sorry ass sometime on Sunday afternoon." Leave at the right time on the predetermined designated day.
-- Bathing suits are really important. If you haven't seen your feet in years rethink the whole bikini, thong, or Speedo look. Bring a cover up, tee shirt, or sarong and don't forget your own sunscreen. No one wants to look at a burnt lobster face over dinner and using up all of the hosts' toiletries is also considered bad form.
-- Offer to bring your own towels and bedding. Cottage owners don't offer laundry service. They usually have a septic system and don't want to be doing your laundry, or worse having to run into town to use the launderette to do your laundry. Your hosts are not your parents or the owners of a B&B.
-- Last but by no means least leave a thank you gift. This does not mean a cute little knick knack that looks like a moose relieving himself in the bushes. Best bets - chocolates, alcohol, a gift certificate to Canadian Tire, or flowers.
