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  • What should i say now? Need your help quick!! 10points!!?

    Singles & Dating - 4 hours ago

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    Met a guy last weekend in a club. He text me the next day asking to meet up but i was busy with friends, so i text him saying i couldn't. I text him again today saying sorry bout being busy and if he was doing anything this weekend. He's just text back saying he's going to be out tomorrow night and asked was I around. I would like to see this guy but the thing is I don't really want to meet him in a club. Like, you can't talk in a club, and anyway none of my friends are going out tommorow. I can't suggest another day because he is going away then. So, what should I text him? I feel bad blowing him off again, especially cause i text him first this time. Should I mention that I'm free in the evening instead?

  • How do I Make "love"?

    Singles & Dating - 5 hours ago

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    So on t.v. show I all ways hear the words "make love". What does this mean? does it mean like to fall in love with someone? or does it mean to...you..know...get it on...? Someone fill me in of this stuff

  • Why are men afraid to be truthful?

    Other - Family & Relationships - 5 hours ago

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    When in a relationship why can't men be truthful?Why do they have to lie?Then when they get caught in a lie they act stupid or think the girl is and then its too late and they are gone.why is that please i like to know.

  • Does he still love me?

    Singles & Dating - 5 hours ago

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    Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 8 months. We just recently moved in together and things are going good with living togethe. It is just that he doesn't compliment me anymore like never when he always used to. He used to tell me I love you out of the blue now he doesn't… he only sometimes says it when I say it too him. And I asked him why and he said I say it to much… which is like twice a day… He consrtantly checks out other girls in front of me… Like I don’t mind that just don’t do it all the time... He just doesn’t seem happy anymore. When he picks me up from work I am so happy to see him but it’s like he is grumpy or mad when he sees me like the way he says Hello. It’s like hes not one bit excited to see me. He never just puts his arm around me, try to hold my hand or even give me a kiss. It is always me having to do those things. And when I asked him how you like living together so far he just said its good you cook for me. And I was like no whatelse and that’s all he could think of. He never tells me how he really feels. I just don’t feel like he really loves me. My friends and family reassure me he does because we moved in mutually and he bought me a car for my birthday. I mean he is still nice to me and we have our fun moments Its just that he never shows that he loves me to me. I have mentioned this to him several times and nothing has changed… I cut him some slack because its his first serious relationship. I don’t know.. what are your thoughts.. please say anything, anything thanks everyone that is really reassuring... and to the last comment the really long one.. i thought that is what is was like being together all the time but when i try to hang out with my mom... ps i moved from calgary almost a year ago and only made a couple friends that i barely hang out with so i hang out with my mom he gets upset and say oh i thought we were goin to do this or if if i try to go to calgary for a weekend he gets upset and say your just goin to be partying... i feel like we do need our space but he never takes it.. i tell him to go hang out with his friends but he doesnt want to..

  • Is it possible for God to end friendships in your life?

    Friends - 6 hours ago

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    Im 16, and a junior in high school. Recently, Ive been praying to God if He can bring me new friends in my life. Friends that I can talk to and relate to. It seems like He's doing otherwise. To start, I was developing a friendship with this girl in my class. She was Christian as well. I ended up getting a schedule change, and was separated from my friends and her. I had two new classes. In one of them, I was developing another friendship with another Christian girl. She ended up getting switched out of the class. And then recently, this guy I knew from 6th grade came to the school. He wasnt a good friend to me, so Im wondering about this. Whats going on?? Why is God closing the doors to new friendships??

  • What can i do to solve this?

    Family - 6 hours ago

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    hmm well i need some sort of advice on this. My mum and i dont always get along, and lately its been too much. I understand she gets stressed, but i cant cope with it anymore. She keeps saying how i hate my little brother. And i dont, i love him to bits, id die for him. Maybe am not good at showing it but it dont mean i dont love him. So whenever i say anything to him she starts saying things like "you hate him! stay away from him!" and eventually ends up saying that she hates me, that i shouldnt exist. I dont know what to do with myself. I'm in my last year of college and stressed myself aswel. I try hard to help her out with all i can, i do all the houserwork, baby sitting and etc. I try to be patient but sometimes her words really hurt me. I fell into depression last year since all my friends turned their backs on me, and my mum ignored me completely, for a whole year i had no one to speak to, so i guess i have no confidence and completely lost trust. I feel like no matter what i do, am never good enough. Her friends always say that they would like to have me as a daughter, but shes never happy with me. Am quiet and a little serious, but i dont think am that horrible. I just dont know how to react when am called a mistake. If am a mistake, then what should i do with myself? aw i forgot to mention am only 17 (am the youngest in class)

  • What are your opinions on same sex couples showing affection in public? Kissing, cuddling, holding hands etc?

    Other - Family & Relationships - 6 hours ago

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    In my opinion they should be treat no different to opposite sex couples. But tonight at my local supermarket there was a comment made about 2 girls holding hands whilst doing their shopping, they also kissed and was just showing their love for each other but not in a 'in your face' way. Just a normal couple like way. My point is, if this was a boy and girl no one would have batted an eyelid. What difference does it make what gender you are? Your opinions please... am I just too laid back or do you agree that this is fine and that they should be treat no different to any other couple showing affection in public?

  • Guys : what should i buy my man for christmas?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    i never bought anything for a guy before, and whenever i ask him what he wants, he says "nothing. you love is enough" but i really want to give him something, not too expencive though, because he doesnt want me spending to much on him. hes 18.

  • What can I do to help my husband & my family?

    Marriage & Divorce - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    My husband is depressed. It's been awful. He's so moody & angry & mean. He will say anything he can to hurt my feelings. It seems like he's baiting me to fight with him. I don't fall for it but it sucks. I work a full time job & just don't want to come home to that. Then he's fine. He usually withdraws to a book which is fine because it gets his mind off things. He's usually such a nice person so this is hard for me & our Son is starting to notice it too. Our Son is only 11 mo so he doesn't get it but I can tell the baby has noticed that daddy doesn't want to play as much & I can see the baby gets disappointed. My husband & I talked this evening & he said he did want to go to the doctor & get some help he just doesn't want to miss work to do it. He said if there wasn't a doctor who would see him on the weekend he will go during work hours. We're a military family & live in Japan so things are different here. It gets really hard to deal with sometimes. I'm a very happy person & it's hard to deal with a full time Job& being a mom & a wife & having to go home to the man I love being mean to me. I've been there before so I understand how it feels to be depressed. but I don't know how to deal with his anger & moodiness. It really hurts my feelings. Until he gets to a doctor how do I deal with him? & how do I keep our family ok? We talk when he's not angry & he says he doesn't like it that he's been so mean..... he apologizes but I still hurt. I'm gonna stick through this with him. I just need some idea or something I can do to deal with his moods & anger until things get better.

  • This made my day so terrible! My classmate and partner and friend ..?

    Friends - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    we were doing a role play and the teacher ask us to speak about anything but we must talk to our partner he wants to know how well we can use our listening skills. Well my friend who was next to me said she was going to work with me. Then when we started talking I was like asking her about her boyfriend and stuff how she met him we also talk about other stuff. So when the ten minutes was yet expired he asked the class who find it difficult and she was the one to lift her hand up and say that she had difficult talking. Then the teacher asked her why: and she said that she couldn't come up with anything to talk to. ( So hold on we were talking and she find it difficult and she didn't come up with anything). what do you think do you think is fair that she said that?... because I didn't feel talking to her no-more. What are your suggestion ??? anyway I have now apologised to her..
The Lifestylists
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The 11-year-old mother

Posted Mon, Nov 02, 2009
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Rattle (Getty)Earlier this week, News of the World broke a story about an 11-year-old named Kordeza Zhelyazkova who gave birth to a baby girl on her wedding day.

Her husband, 19-year-old Jeliazko Dimitrov, met her in the playground of her Roma gypsy school in Bulgaria and rescued her from bullies. He said he believed she was 15 at the time and was never made aware of her real age.

He now faces up to six years in prison for having sex with a minor.

Kordeza has dropped out of school and says she is not going back. 'I used to play with my toys,' she said to News of the World. 'But now [my baby] is my new toy.'

Sliven, the Bulgarian city where Kordeza hails from, is the underage mother capital of Europe.

According to the girl's grandmother Dida, who was pregnant herself at 13, young motherhood is part of their culture. 'It's normal for our girls to have babies young. It's our tradition. But I didn't want it for my Kordeza - I felt she was too young.'

This incredible scenario begs so many questions: How can an 11-year old possibly comprehend the emotional and mental ramifications of raising another human being? How can a pre-teen fully understand the life-long commitment that is marriage? How can she manage to cope with the complicated arena of sexuality before her twelfth birthday?

But what may be more depressing than a culture of 'girl mothers' is how seemingly unprepared they are to deal with their lot. If young motherhood is so traditional (and commonplace) in this area, where is the sex education? If you know that girls are going to be having sex and getting pregnant (whether they're ready for it or not) can't they  at least be provided with the tools to understand what they're getting themselves into?

Kordeza received no sexual education in school, had never heard of condoms and didn't even know she was pregnant. And what's most frightening is she refers to her child as her 'new toy'. Kordeza is painfully uneducated about the gravity of the situation ahead of her and regrettably ill-equipped of the most daunting tasks she'll face in her young life. 

Can an 11-year-old really raise a child? Is a tradition of young motherhood acceptable? Should these girls be receiving more sex education?

- Vanessa

Average (56 Ratings)3.82 out of 5 stars

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  • 1. Posted by Wanda on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    wow i was playing with dolls at that age , and sex never even was thought of , i think she should put the baby up for adoption and be a kid again , very sad

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  • 2. Posted by Acevntura on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    Yikes!

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  • 3. Posted by bgthompson3@rogers.com on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    Typical.

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  • 4. Posted by Wes--Freelancer on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    It's not a culture of motherhood it's a culture of uncontrolled breeding. Just because ignorance is traditional doesn't mean it should continue.

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  • 5. Posted by Dee on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    It's sad to think that she has never really had a chance to be a teenager and enjoy things that young girls should enjoy. I can't believe that a 19 year old could not tell the difference between an 11 year old and a 15 year old.

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  • 6. Posted by ClassicRocksy on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    How is it possible that an 11 year old can even marry?.... I realize these "other" countries & religions have their own rules & regulations but there has to be a limit somewhere. Even though the husband is 19, how can he be charged with having sex with his wife?... Makes absolutely no sense to me. I do agree with Wanda... the baby should be put up for adoption... the marriage annulled ... the girl back in school... the husband sentenced.. perhaps he'll think twice about assuming a young girls age... even if he thought she was 15.... still not old enough to be getting married & having babies.

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  • 7. Posted by mikalamp on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    her 'new toy'... we're talking about a life here-NOT a new toy!! she should HAVE to give the baby up for adoption since she is just a child herself!!

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  • 8. Posted by firebreather on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    Why aren't the males receiving some kind of education and why aren't they held in check? Simply: male privilege permeates every culture in the world. It must be CRUSHED.

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  • 9. Posted by Sarah on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    WTF?! That is just crazy!

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  • 10. Posted by CLM on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    How the h*ll did this marriage take place? Didn't anyone ask the girl's age before the wedding...as for the child having a child, yes, her husband should go to prison...this is rape...consenting or not. An 11 year old child is not prepared for physical and mental outcomings of this type of relations

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  • 11. Posted by Tanya C on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    66666666t6765t54555667t5rt6t566777777777788tt5trr6

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  • 12. Posted by Bettes on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    So now they're going to put this guy in jail? WTF? HE should stay at home and teach his "wife" how to take care of the baby. So sad...

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  • 13. Posted by zzanzzanzz on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    Congrats!! Wish you luck with your baby. (someone's going to report me aren't they?) Most people you know...congragulate others when they get pregnant when it isn't rape.... Anyways, don't you think you guys are being a bit holier then thou? Just because YOUR culture thinks it's wrong, doesn't mean it inherently is. Romeo and Juliet wasn't exactly mature when they were doing their thing, and yet that story is hailed as....something worth studying in grade 10. Stop judging OTHER cultures using the completely different morals of your OWN.

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  • 14. Posted by chp_lisa on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    If this tradition continues in this family, this little girl could be a grandmother at the age of 22. CRAZY!

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  • 15. Posted by Donna on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    A 19 year old "wished" she was 15- he knew better. If "young Motherhood" is a tradition in their country/culture then, the little girl would have known the outcome of having sex and about being pregnant. I don't know what the law is in their area but if charges are being considered I think they should follow through. Poor kid- either one, Mom or Baby.

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  • 16. Posted by chp_lisa on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    If this tradition continues in this family, this little girl could be a grandmother at the age of 22. CRAZY!

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  • 17. Posted by J on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    I believe he's being charged for having sex with a minor, not for having sex with his wife. She was not his wife when she became pregnant.

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  • 18. Posted by BenitoElDio on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    Wow, nice Bulgaria, nice.! What a bunch of weirdo, come on people wake up, you should not always follow your parents and grand-parents's steps, espacialy these ones!!!!! LOOSERs

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  • 19. Posted by Thumper on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    dont we call these 'men' pedophiles? i mean, didnt she look young? six years means he'll be out in three...

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  • 20. Posted by loulou on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    wow

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  • 21. Posted by It's me on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    When I was young there was a girl in my neighbourhood who had a baby at 12. The father was 40. They later married and by the time she was 15 she had 3 kids and was thoroughly enjoying being a wife and mother, and was doing a wonderful job of it too. Perhaps it's not right age-wise, but some people can handle responsibility when they have to. Many others can't of course, but you can't paint all 11 year olds with the same brush.

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  • 22. Posted by Nicole on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    I am Bulgarian but giving birth at such a young age is conpletly against everything I believe in! Giving birth at 11 is defenitly not part of the religion! DON'T HATE ON BULGARIANS BECAUSE OF THIS ARTICLE!

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  • 23. Posted by pasquayakj on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    thats sick where are the parents why didnt they notice she was pregnant

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  • 24. Posted by Raven on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    wow... menses didn't even onset for me until I was 13.

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  • 25. Posted by Raven on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    wow... menses didn't even onset for me until I was 13.

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  • 26. Posted by Darryl on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    The welfare of the baby should be most important consideration here. Probably best solution is to let the father out of jail if he is willing to be a responsible care-giver, and provide support and training to the young mother. Sex education and laws may prevent future problems, but it is too late for these people.

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  • 27. Posted by Michele on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    Ya, lots of 15 yr old girls play in playgrounds......

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  • 28. Posted by N C on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    Its Bulgaria. A third-world country where this type of thing seems to be typical. Quite sad.

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  • 29. Posted by Loosh on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    Your understanding of where this girl comes from is laughable. You look at this problem as if she was an American child and wonder why she didn't get sex-ed in school. Research these gypsies more -- these people are barely on the periphery of society, even over there.

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  • 30. Posted by N C on Tue, Nov 03, 2009

    Its Bulgaria. A third-world country where this type of thing seems to be typical. Quite sad.

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