Ex sex

1. Posted by Rozie on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

Great advice. Very true. Ex's are tough emotionally, wether you are/were married to them or not. As humans we have a basic need.. touch. without that we die. But, just as the article says... you broke up for a reason and He/she has not changed, nor have you!

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2. Posted by ♫GooBee_Jenny♫ on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

This news is true. Thnx for posting it

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3. Posted by elmernyollymanzo on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

If you are happily married and your ex happens to cross your path it should only be--"Hi! How are you doing now?" If he/she asks about you, tell the person you are happily married and you had forgotten her/him completely. End up the conversation by wishing him goodbye. Sex with the ex should never even come up in your mind. After all, you have moved on and you found happiness in the man/woman you married. That settles all.

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4. Posted by Debre J on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

I like the plan for handling your ex at the end of the article. I would to see more distinct pros and cons addressed tho. I have one rule - instinct. When your an established friend youre gambling - I agree, and if feels good as friends, but you want to change, prepare for the new. I don't the chat about desires would go as you describe... applying its another story. and yea i think u do have to let YOUR morals be your guide.

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5. Posted by Ique G on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

We humans are a very complicated organism, we often choose things that will suit or be of appealing. our selfish desires overlap reality. Sex is now often seen as a mare feeling that you can quench out anytime, anywhere whether be with an ex or a stranger. there is no regrets.

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6. Posted by carolynrps on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

Alot of great comments and advice, but "justmyopinion" needs to wake up and see that sex, when with the right person, can be the most incredible pleasure you will ever have. Obviously, you either have had one boring sex partner, or just don't enjoy it. The best sex I have had is with my ex, and I am sure we will continue until one of us finally decides we better grow up, and get on with our lives.

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7. Posted by Gabriela G on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

Fantastic article!

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8. Posted by jovelyn e on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

Sex with the ex... hmmm... ive fallen for that carp already and let me tell you this... the "morning-after syndrome" when reality hits in REALLY HITS HARD... Women ( well most of us) dont give in to sex just for the fun of it.... there usually this promise or a silent commitment that comes with the sex... Sadly, its not the same for most Men... Lets all agree, its very very very tempting to relive the steamy nights but its not worth it if it means having to relive the chaos that came with the past relationship...

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9. Posted by canucktroll on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

choosey, I guess there's a need to burn THAT list. Life is short; it's either enjoy it by denying one's self or the other way 'round. Everyone justifies the fact or the notion of an ex affair or no affair. Put it this way, when I reach the age of a hundred, if I could, I might only realize then that I should have shared great moments with my ex. Or she may even outlive me. Hope and action are worth the risk through this short stay before sun comes down.

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10. Posted by freedom_figh... on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

As for the article itself, I disagree with some of the contents. Sex, although a wonderful gift, needs to be used appropriately. Regardless of the religious connotations (if that’s your thing), there is still somewhat of a general agreement that sex should be reserved for someone you are committed to/meaningful. Because of this, having sexual relations with an “ex” more often than not gives off the wrong impression to both parties. And the “Rule of Three” as it pertains to the booty call is a bit much. I can understand if it happens once, but more than that you’re honestly opening up some doors which shouldn’t be opened (ie; back into the relationship you left). That said, the emotional hangover which was mentioned is very real, which is why I personally think it’s not the best to hook up with an “ex” for a quickie.

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11. Posted by boohoo on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

I kinda look back fondly on the ex-sex... no regrets here. Like anything, you gotta know when to call it quits.

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12. Posted by g p on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

ex is always be an ex.... he/she never become your ex if nothing happened serious between the two of you. Sex for pleasure??? too bad so sad for those people who think sex is just for self satisfaction or just for fun. have a little respect for yourself. Where is your morals???

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13. Posted by swordofmystique on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

sex with an ex is stupid. you left him/her for a reason. going back basically means you're doubting y'self. move on....NOW! anyone here watch "why did i get married?" ? that 80/20 rule is really true. leave the stupid 20..& go find someone new....

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14. Posted by Amy on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

I married my ex...in fact he was an ex a couple times...lol

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15. Posted by marsaa04 on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

I wish I am not falling asleep at this time of the night to carry on reading al peoples comments very interesting to see how far different people can be and think but still we all live under almost the same conditions we share almost everything the same way its inside ourselves that huge amont of thinkings can exist and we are planning to bridge up the whole planet .....unfortunatly theres too much to do before that happens!! so it all started ( I mean the subject itself , on sex) why don t we live it the concerned 2 genders to decide what is and is NOT ok for them as we do NOT feel axactly the same way and will never be able to put ourselves in their shoes so how can someone with or without psychology , religion or whatever ,decide what is good and what is not! l ets just read try to understand but never add any judgement above this I think this will be much more responsible for everyone here again its just my opinion wish the best for all of you !

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16. Posted by christie b on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

It's ridiculous to bash someone for their personal beliefs- just as it's ridiculous to push your beliefs on other people. Justmyopinion, it's okay to have the belief that fornication is a sin, but you should state it as an opinion rather than fact. For those of you who make the statement that God is fictional, remember that this is also an opinion, and you should state it as such. Since 1/3 of the people in the world identify as Christian, it is necessary to be respectful of that, just as Christians need to be respectful of the 2/3rds which don't identify as Christian. I am a Christian, and I believe that marriage in the eyes of God is an important step in a relationship, and it makes a relationship legitimate in the eyes of God. That being said, I don't believe you will be going to Hell for pre-marital sex, and I think God can forgive us for many things which are defined as sins in the Bible. Just have respect for everyones individual beliefs, and don't make sweeping statements which make you and those who agree with you seem closed-minded--that goes for both sides of the issue. If you don't believe in God, congratulations, please don't feel the need to point out that our beliefs are crap, and you are the holder of all that is real and true in the world.

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17. Posted by kokinoceleste on Wed, Aug 13, 2008

my husband and I are separated for about 2 years now, after being togerter for 17 years, the first couple months was hurtfull. then we manage to see each other on week-ends just to have sex, to much emotions.Then we stop for almost a year, again now we're at it, we both understand:Sex was always great in our relationship,we just take a rendez-vous for sex, we're not involve with anyone else and we're not hurting anyone outside the equasion but us. I find my self reading these comments now i'm thinking is it so unappropriate to have sex with your ex. Again that is perhaps depand on the emotion.We're not divorce yet, and we're not getting back together,we are just having sex. I am glad that i don't have any illusion, maybe it's seem foolish to say, but we don't have to expect the unexpected,we know each other we find each other desirable, we are having sex pleasurable sex for now. What can be so wrong about that or is it? For what it is worth the ones involve need to make the decision, regardles of anyone belief.

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18. Posted by packratgirl1968 on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

I am not sure why people are so focused on that one person 'justmyopinion' says. This was not a story about god or sinners, it is about sex with an ex. I personally, if you can agree with your ex, think that since you both have no new partner since breaking up, why not have sex if it was really good. I do and it is great. I can fool around with him and then just leave when it is over. I don't have to stick around for conversation. I think we actually have better sex now than we did when we together. There are no boundaries or limits and we are actually finding out now, that we like more things than we talked about when we were together too.

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19. Posted by Tracey P on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

Everyone has been sucked in once or twice by an old flame!! history keeps us looking!! I slept with my Ex husband for 3 years till I finally woke up and smelled the coffee.. but sometimes, people re-unite for that reason..cause they figure out the grass is NOT greener on the other side!! Not me, but hopefully for someone else this was true

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20. Posted by mattsurette on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

Well I was gonna say that it was some what insightful... still is but guess what? People do change, all the time and even if you don't always see, you have to be believe they can or else there is no hope and no hope... well that's pretty lonely!!!

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21. Posted by sergeidenisenko on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

People do change, feelings dont.

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22. Posted by mare on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

Sex with an ex....i just think that if you are single , and there has been enough time since the break up (ex.6 to 12 months) , and you know you never want to be commited to that person again, and you communicate that clearly to eachother beforehand, then what harm can it really do ? and as long as your not causing yourself or anyone else harm then do whatever you want , because even if someone tells you that you shouldnt, chances are you just may anyways! and of course it depends! just be safe about it !! lol. My experience with sex with an ex , has been going on for about a couple months now. We are both single, we have young children together, we havent been in a relationship with eacother for over 2 years and because of the children we see eachother daily. We are fortunate that as friends we can both be able to have a relationship to support our children together. Not many children are able to have that option. There are times one of us will get that urge , and becuase we are comfortable with eachother , it makes it easier! Maybe it only happens once a week , we both have our own lives, afterwards we go our own ways, and because of it , ive noticed his softer , more affectionate side! But the minute i may feel i want to commit to another, the deal is off lol It can work, and then again maybe not, only one way to find the answer thats never wrong because its your own! As for god and marriage? I'd like to understand why a religous familly forces their children to marry through their church, churches rules! A couple i know , that where not allowed to have sex , or allowed to live together before marriage according to what his side of the familly has drilled into their minds because of how they would be looked upon at church... not by god! so they now live together unhappilly married without sex because they didnt have a chance to learn! So tell me how god has anything real to do w

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23. Posted by ghostrider1225 on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

To add I believe there's a reason why he/she is an EX....get it to your head! Stop wasting other peoples time if you want to get back with the EX. I'm so tired of these people who can't get their act together! I believe you deserve to be alone! Get a life woman you don't have a clue about relationships!

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24. Posted by Ancient pistol on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

I'd have to say that sex with an ex is a bad idea; while there are one or two ex-girlfriends I'd still like to be with, I'm realistic enough to know it's not even about to happen; I don't respond well to betrayal, and I sure don't give second chances at hurting/betraying me. One particular ex-gf was the single greatest and most wildly passionate lover I've ever had...the only problem was that she was also utterly and complely psychotic, as in "she didn't have the slightest grip on reality," and her delusions eventually drove us apart. She constantly accused me of cheating when I hadn't done (and wouldn't do) any such thing. Her delusions soon spiralled out of control, and she even started accusing me of "servicing other women for money," ("Honey, I may be good, but not THAT good!" LOL!) when I was really playing underpaid gigs in a rock'n'blues band to put food on the table for her and her two boys. One morning it REALLY hit the fan; I'd suffered from severe bursitis in my right shoulder for a few days, playing four nights in a row, three sets a night, with my shoulder hurting so bad, I wished someone would just chop it right off! After the last gig that weekend, the guys dropped me/my gear off at my dad's house, then I went to the hospital. After spending the rest of the night in the ER (I got a cortisone shot in my shoulder, VERY painful, that!) I had to walk almost three miles back to her place 'cause the buses weren't running yet; the instant I finally arrived, she started in with the crazy accusations again. When I showed her the hospital bracelet, she said, "One of the women you're 'servicing' is a lady doc

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25. Posted by mare on Wed, Apr 16, 2008

I personally want to be the kind of person who believes in what i see, scientific facts, has to be some sort of proof, either in others or my own experiences. Prove god see's us and helps ect ect..... something i'd like to see...but dont! and i dont have enough time to imagine it! but if you do , then all the power to you! As for the comment about women in general. Sounds to me like you have been burned , and choose to hold on to the the anger or hurt. It takes two! And we are all different!

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26. Posted by movinon,slowly... on Thu, Apr 17, 2008

Wow, where to begin... justmyopinion, i have re-read the initial post of this topic and from what i got out of it i dont feel that God has anything to do with it. No one is married or attached when thinking or doing the sex w/the ex, so why turn it into a sin. Many of us split up or get divorced for many different reasons but whatever those reasons, they are between the ex & oneself. For me personally i had a few opportunities to have one night stands w/an ex-boyfriend many years ago, first because i wanted to be the one he "cheated" w/as he had cheated on me w/the one he chose to be with, & since we had known each other since we were teens & i had his son, i didnt feel sinful in doing so, it didnt last long & i knew nothing would come of it, so i didnt let it bother me. But i agree that one must live w/their choices in life, right or wrong, & i will live with mine. But onto the next relationship, i married a man who promised me the world & told me i could grow with him as i needed to & he would be there to support me, how wrong i was to believe in him, he lied big time, & in ten years of marriage if i had to add up all the times we had sex it would equal to maybe 6 months. So i ask myself where do i go from here, i have been through hell in the last 10 yrs, and three children later i am still having issues with filing for divorce, because i believe in marriage, but i also didnt get married to live like a nun, or to be so sexually frustrated that i am angry all the time. It is too bad that they dont have a "sex therapy clinic" LOL!! for those of us who could use a good lay once a week or for whenever you want it. I was lucky if i got it once a year. I thank god everyday for the children as it allowed me to think of more important things, but i miss the simple things like a hug or holding hands and of cou

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27. Posted by movinon,slowly... on Thu, Apr 17, 2008

....as we have been separated for a few years now, but as he still lives in the same building as i do, it is hard to move on. We have a special needs child & it is hard for this child to understand that we are separated & live in separate spaces. The only understanding that this child sees is that we still live in the same house & that is still Dad. I fear what it will do to this child when we finally do divorce. It is not easy dealing with an Autistic child at the best of times. I have been put through the wringer of hell with emotional, mental & verbal abuse but do what i can to not sweat the small stuff. Especially for the sake of the children. But now an iron has been cast into the fire of hell that i live in, an ex of 21 yrs is coming back & i am not sure how to deal with that as so many issues were left undone & unsaid. I was to marry this man, i was committed to him, but he chose to believe in a lie that never happened & it destroyed us as i could not prove that i had never cheated on him, & now that our daughter has finally met him, he is treading on territory he said he would never tread. He hates the city but will be here in less then two weeks. Will i cross the line with him i doubt it, but if it happens then so be it, i dont believe it will be with the hopes that something will happen between us, because it cant. Too many years have passed & we both have gone through a bad marriage. But if nothing else i hope & pray that we can walk away with an understanding that life moves on and be at least friends. But if we decide to have sex with the ex that is between us & having the knowledge that it is what it is, if we are given the opportunity to have a new beginning then maybe this time it will work, but since i know i need to deal with this marriage, i cant think of starting anything with anyone, even if this was the man i was to m

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28. Posted by movinon,slowly... on Thu, Apr 17, 2008

I thought we had 2000 characters to use, yet i have noticed that on both my post i was cut off short of where i finished, if i had known this was to happen i would have copied my posts, which i will do so in future, as it is hard for me to remember what i have typed due to my disability. As for the last post i made, i will try and remember what i can... ... marry, i still need to deal with the marriage i am in, and find the strength to get out and move on. I dont think there is anything wrong in finding comfort with another especially if it is someone you already know and feel safe with and some of us do feel safe with an ex. What i miss the most from my ex of 21 yrs ago, is the hugs and the cuddles in bed as the husband wasnt really into this. Is it a sin to want this in ones life, i dont think so and i dont believe god will punish me for it should such a blessing ever present itself. I always feel reborn and full of life after having sex, yet when your with out for so long, its hard to remember how iit felt at all. Having sex with an ex isnt the end of the world, especially with all that is going on in the world, but as it was stated life is too short, enjoy it and love life, embrace it and be happy. ...thanks for letting me vent, sorry if i treaded off topic a bit here, but sometimes thats what happens in life, have a good one everyone. Cheers.

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29. Posted by Steph on Thu, Apr 17, 2008

I do agree with the author's point of view. For me, I didn't keep in touch with any one of exes, because I can't treat them as friends any more.

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30. Posted by Christine Woodington on Thu, Apr 17, 2008

Personally the sex with the ex was awkward especially being the dumped one, but if the sex with the ex had stopped I wouldn't be with him today, and getting ready to marry him. Thank goodness for friends with benefits.

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