While I try to make a habit of becoming friends with my exes (I consider it the minimum return on my investment), it can sometimes be tricky. There are no set rules on how much time must pass before this is possible. But a loose mathematical equation — something like the ugliness of the breakup divided by the combined level of maturity — should equal how long you have to wait before you attempt friendship.
You know what happens when you try to pretend you're over it too soon. It starts on the phone, and then you agree to get together. Once face to face, old chemistry takes over and you fall for some crap about things being different. It's easy to get sucked in by familiarity and a selective memory. You just slip on your rose-coloured glasses and convince yourself it wasn't so bad — especially if there's no one else waiting in the wings. Then your sex drive butts in on the conversation, and the next thing you know it's the morning and you're making coffee for two and suffering a major emotional hangover from falling off the wagon.
Having sex with an ex isn't without its charms, mind you. "Ex sex" can be a very convenient temporary way of getting some action. But the sex isn't usually as good as you imagined it would be. Not just because you're often soused, but because reality has a hard time living up to fantasy, and you usually can't recreate what you once had.
If you do decide to have sex with an ex, there are a few things to keep in mind:
- Don't sleep with him or her in the hopes of getting back together.
- Avoid drunken 3 a.m. calls. Same goes for showing up on his doorstep unannounced.
- No more than three booty calls after the breakup (more than that means you're having trouble moving on and you need to reconsider why you broke up in the first place).
- And remember: he or she hasn't changed.
164 Comments
LEAVE YOUR COMMENT
You must sign in to leave a commentcharacter(s) remaining