Sleeping with the boss

Some say bosses and employees shouldn't mix, end of story. The inherent power dynamic makes it unfair and unworkable. Others say if two adults consent to a relationship, it's none of our business -- let them sort it out.

My feelings lie somewhere in the middle. Given the fact that most of us spend more time at work than out socially, employer/employee romantic relationships will happen no matter what sanctions or rules we put in place try and stop them. And let's face it, older, more experienced people in positions of authority are exciting, especially when you're young, inexperienced and without much power.

The problem is, things can very quickly go from: "Woohoo, I'm sleeping with the boss; I can do no wrong" to, it's over and you're suddenly powerless and still have to be nice to the jerk in order to keep your job.

So, while forbidding employer/employee relationships isn't realistic, these kinds of relationships inherently come with a completely different set of playing cards. And, rather than be scandalized by them or try to stop them, I think it would be far better to admit these relationships happen and educate people about how to handle them responsibly?

For starters, both parties need to be honest about their motivations. As the boss, are you getting involved with an employee simply because you wield the power to get away with it? If things don't work out, will you be able to be civil and fair or would you make their work life miserable or worse, fire them? As the employee, are you doing it to get ahead? Are you prepared for the judgment from colleagues who may feel you'll get preferential treatment at work?

Because unless you're both honest and realistic about the added complications, problems, or fallout that almost inevitably arise from an employee/employer relationship, you better be prepared to fold early in the game.

P.S. I'll be at the National Women's Show at the Toronto Metro Convention Centre on Friday, Oct. 23 between 7-8 pm at the HealthHarmony.ca booth #809. Drop by and say hi and enter a contest for a chance to win a vibrator! For more info, go to: http://www.nationalwomenshow.com/toronto/index.html