Talk to your teens!

Because we all know how uncomfortable most parents are when it comes to talking to their kids about sex.

The biggest mistake they make, says Shane, is that they're too pushy. 'They might be worried their kid is having sex and instead of being open and answering their questions, they simply push to find out more about their teenager's life.' The problem with this, says Shane, is that it usually only succeeds in making them clam up even more and bonus, they'll be even more uncomfortable talking to you about it in the future.

Also, says Shane, parents often focus their questions on their teen's specific sexual behaviour. 'No one really WANTS to talk to their parents about what they're doing sexually so parents need to try to keep the discussion as general as possible so as their kid doesn't feel on the spot when talking about awkward stuff.'

Dave adds that parents shouldn't assume the worst about their teen when it comes to sex. This just loses their trust.

Both Dave and Shane say that most teens usually look to their parents to reinforce things they already kind of know about sex. They're looking for you for comfort and reassurance that they're not alone should they run into trouble. It's important to share your opinion on the information they're getting but in a way that is not judgmental or preachy. You can influence them but you need to allow your teens to form their own beliefs and ideas about sex.

As for the parent's concern that teens are being exposed to more sexual material in today's media climate, Shane says sex has always been in the media - and it probably always will be, so, for parents to just start worrying now isn't very helpful. 'Though,' he adds, 'parents do need to step up and share their opinions about what is in the media because their teen is looking to them to help understand what they're seeing.' Just lay off the judgment.

Besides, says Dave, parents should only be worried if they don't do any educating themselves and instead let the TV and computer do the work.

Yes, it can be tough and awkward, says Dave, but 'take a deep breath and just do it. It's worth it to know that your kid is educated, knows how to keep themselves safe and where to turn for help if its needed.

If you stay open, and answer their questions, adds Shane, your teen will most likely come to you again. 'It really only takes one bad discussion to turn your child off from talking to you about such things again.'

Hosted by The Sexual Health Education and Pleasure Project (SHEPP), the workshop will be held Oct. 21 at 7pm at Good for Her, 175 Harbord St, Toronto. Cost is $35.
To register or for more info, go to www.goodforher.com or www.shepptoronto.com