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  • EX BF, keeps asking if im dating.. (10 points)?

    Singles & Dating - 5 hours ago

    Additional Details

    Im single he is not, he ended it nearly one year ago, doesn't seem happy in new relationship. He recently started flirting with me, contacting me, he suggests to meet up for coffee a few times, but for some reason doesn't arrange it. is it quite likely he wants to try again? if so, why hasn't he.. I would really like to try again!
  • Some guy called me kinky...i need help?

    Singles & Dating - 5 hours ago

    Additional Details

    so i was texting this guy and i told him i was sore from gymnastics annd then he replies kinky... what the hell. i don't get it
  • My boyfriend smells really badly, and he just won't take the hint? Even when I tell him flat out?

    Singles & Dating - 5 hours ago

    Additional Details

    My boyfriend and I are both 21, and have been dating for 3 years. Recently, he has smelling really badly whenever I am around him. I ask him if he showers, brushes his teeth, etc..because I cannot for the life of me understand what is making him smell so bad. Recently, I was at his house, and I saw that he throws his laundry all over the place, doesn't wash his bed sheets, his house smelled musky and moldy, like he had mold. He told me" I shower twice a day, and wash my hair one of those times each day". Well, the smell isn't his hair, trust me. And sometimes he has even told me he forgets to brush his teeth for a couple of days! He is 21, he should not be acting like a 5 year old! And plus, he is over weight, and that being said, sweats more and seems to stink more. I ask him politely to put on more deodarant or shower again, and he says " I already put it on once today, and that's it im going to put it on". I don't know what to do with him. I love him, but it's never been as bad as this. I don't want to have a boyfriend that I have to go over and clean and wash his clothes, his bedsheets, remind him to wash right, or brush his teeth! I have tried sitting down talking to him, but he seems to just not care!! Should I just take this as a bad sign and just leave him??
  • How can I convince my fiance to do a test drive?

    Other - Family & Relationships - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    I'm a Christian and I believe in sex and cohabitation before marriage. My fiance wants to wait till marriage to have sex, but I want to test drive before we get married. He must understand that times have changed and most women would never marry a virgin. If he won't change, I'll find another man who has a higher sex drive.
  • Guys! is it really that big of a deal if a girls boobs are not big?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    i am in shape and fit, i have a nice butt, but my chest is only about a B cup size. a small B. is really that big of a deal?!?! best answer will be chosen ***
  • Why does my wife act like she loves me more when I'm a jerk?

    Marriage & Divorce - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    I used to be caring, loving and romantic, and my wife treated me like crap. Now I'm cold, arrogant and distant and she tries to be all lovey dovey to me. She even mentioned missing the old me and I told her, "But its clear to me that you prefer the way I am now, because if you really liked how I was you would of been nicer to me back then." So what's up with this? I was a nice guy and she cheated on me and now I'm a jerk and she loves me more, but wants me to be a nice guy again? Can someone explain this to me?
  • My ex husband was deported I told him we're through ....?

    Marriage & Divorce - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    but not bc he was deported, for other reasons instead. Abuse and what not. He kept saying hes going to come to canada to be with me. Now that I am chatting on good terms with him he is saying whats the point of coming to canada, minds well stay in italy. So he clearly doesnt love me , right?
  • Just being friendly or more??

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    A guy in my college course would stare at me a lot. I started talking to him little bit by bit (im pretty shy tho, so can't do anything too obivous). He responded nicely, then all of a sudden he seemed to ignore me one day. Next day he keeps looking at me again, esp. when I laugh, which I do a lot in class haha. Anyway, how do I get to know him better. He's a Christian Conservative and so am I, which is hard to find on my campus.
  • Why would I be shallow because I refuse to support my boyfriend?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    He works a lot, I drive him around, gave me $ in the first months, now he just doesn't come up with it, excuses, lies. He says he loves me but when I said no $, then best to leave, he did very mad.
  • How to get him to ask me out?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    A guy in my college course would stare at me a lot. I started talking to him little bit by bit (im pretty shy tho, so can't do anything too obivous). He responded nicely, then all of a sudden he seemed to ignore me one day. Next day he keeps looking at me again, esp. when I laught, which I do a lot in class haha. Anyway, how do I get to know him better. He's a Christian Conservative and so am I, which is hard to find on my campus. I will not ask him out, so don't even try to change my mind!

Separate beds

Posted Wed, Sep 23, 2009
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Beyonce and hubby Jay-Z made it trendy when it was rumoured that they sleep separately, even going so far as to rent separate hotel rooms when they travel together.

But now, it's scientific fact. Sleeping together may actually be bad for your health.
Sleep specialist Dr Neil Stanley, head of one of Britain's leading sleep labs recently told the British Science Festival that while couples believed they slept better with their partner, evidence has proved that couples suffer 50% more sleep disturbances if they share a bed.

The resulting lousy night's sleep can be linked to everything from depression to heart disease, strokes, traffic ad industrial accidents and even divorce.

Which goes against conventional wisdom. As a culture, we believe that separately is a sign of trouble in paradise that leads to marital doom.

But Stanley, who sleeps separately from his wife, says that historically, couples sharing a bed wasn't even common until the industrial revolution, when people moved to overcrowded towns and cities and living space was limited.

In ancient Rome, for example, the marital bed was for one thing, and that wasn't sleeping.

I've long believed that sleeping apart - even having separate bedrooms -- can actually be good for a relationship. Not only do you get a decent night's sleep, but you get your own space when you need it, and you can relish in the excitement of sneaking into each other's room just like when you were just dating and your parents made you sleep in separate bedrooms when you stayed with them. Besides, nothing builds resentment more than watching your partner sleep blissfully beside you while you toss and turn beside them. How is that good for a relationship?

It seems more and more couples are coming around to my way of thinking. According to the National Sleep Foundation in the U.S., couples sleeping separately from 12% in 2001 to 23% in 2005.

And, according to the National Association of Home Builders, they've seen an increase in requests for 'two-master bedroom' homes and predict that by 2015, 60 percent of all custom upscale homes will be built with two 'owner suites.'

I'm sure lots of couples don't have a problem sleeping in the same bed. Some may actually even enjoy it. But if you don't, and it's affecting the quality of your sleep, you need to get over the fact that sleeping separately is unhealthy for the relationship because the exact opposite may be true.

It may well be that what your relationship really needs is a good night's sleep... in separate beds.

Do you and your partner sleep separately? Do you think it's a good idea?

Average (248 Ratings)4.02 out of 5 stars

  • 1. Posted by Xi-Ying W on Thu, Sep 24, 2009

    So now it's trendy for married couples to sleep in separate beds because Beyonce and Jay-Z are doing it? Personally, I think Wilma & Fred Flintstone make better role models.

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  • 2. Posted by Sekino on Thu, Sep 24, 2009

    I guess my husband and I are lucky ones because we share the same bed and both sleep like rocks. We're both healthy, we don't snore and we're not overly stressed, that's the trick. I think [profane]ty jobs, unecessary life stress and disease are more detrimental to a good night's sleep than simply sharing a bed with your loved one, but I'm not some "sleep specialist"...

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  • 3. Posted by Naghma on Thu, Sep 24, 2009

    I dont believe blindly in every new research that comes up.For me ,nothing can be more disturbing than not getting to share the same bed with my husband.

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  • 4. Posted by Renata on Thu, Sep 24, 2009

    If sometimes my husband is away, that is the time when I have trouble to fall a sleep and my whole night is bad. When my husband sleeps beside me, I have much more peaceful sleep, so I guess sleeping separately from my husband is not for me.

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  • 5. Posted by lmmm on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    It all depends on the couple sleeping habits. Some people sleep very deep and don't get disturbed at all. I know I am a light sleeper. If my husband were a type of person who snores, does not sleep thru the night or gets up making some noises in the middle of the night, then I would definitely prefer to sleep in a separate room as long as we understand each other.

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  • 6. Posted by francine.doiron on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    My husband and I sleep in the same bed, but I could see the point of separate bedrooms, since he suffers from fibromyalgia and doesn't sleep really good at night but then again it would encourage our kids to come find us in our beds as well

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  • 7. Posted by Gordon S on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    Snoring is a sign of respiratory distress. Modern treatments have not come far enough in treating this condition. Sleeping with a snorer disturbs sleep. No one wins.

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  • 8. Posted by warry@rogers.com on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    I have slept in seperate beds for all of my marriage, I can't sleep in the same bed with any partner because I'm a very restless sleeper. I always felt that this was a problem with me but after reading this story I'm quite relieved.

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  • 9. Posted by Brooke_C on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    naghma_ansari: the key words there, of course, are "for me." You, however, are not everyone. Some people might find this helpful; others, myself included, not so much. My husband could sleep through the apocalypse; I doubt he would notice whether I was there or not. Head hits the pillow, he's out. I sometimes have difficulty falling asleep, but he's such a quiet sleeper that I don't think he has anything to do with it.

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  • 10. Posted by vellathewench on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    Over the many years my husband and I have been together, we have slept separately for much of the time. I dont move alot but he does and keeps me awake. When we sleep together i cant sleep and i am grumpy from not sleeping as well as he likes to cuddle up to my warmth when i hate being hot. Our relationship is just fine, in fact we probably have more sex now then when we do sleep together, because we dont fall asleep lol

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  • 11. Posted by pcreado on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    Hi I do not believe this fact. Your example of Beyonce and her husband does not appeal to the average person. An average person is more a family man with morals and fidelity towards the partner. Touch, care, hugs, kisses are but feelings that bring two people together. You have all your facts wrong. You have to correct the wrong things that are happening in today's world. Technology, slave driven working hours, constant stress coupled with murder and violent TV shows are more disturbing to sleep than any human being. I have grown up in a joint family and have been always sleeping with my siblings. They were not my enemies. My husband too is my love and I find it peaceful in his presence and in his embrace. In my ancestral history too, I have not heard any of my forefathers sleeping separately and there have not been any divorces till date. United States needs to get its act together and see what is ailing the nation. There is too much independance there which is leading to its doomsday. They have to learn from nature to be disciplined in all their acts or else definitely there will be forest fires, storms and another natural calamities. Their relationships are also going throught the same process. Too much of independance results in ego problems and separeteness. My advice to you would be to find ways of uniting people and not dividing them. Perina

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  • 12. Posted by maskkasm on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    I fully agree that in some cases sleeping apart is better. Like some here who believe otherwise, we also lead a healthy lifestyle, running, cycling, having hobbies like trampoline, lead a relatively stress-free life and have no diseases. Bu one of us snores and I must admit, I have not had a good night's sleep in a very very long time (going on almost 10 years. It initially caused some resentment but one can get used to it.

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  • 13. Posted by Gerard L on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    YOu know, these research projects are so ridiculous. I wish I were paid the big bucks that these people get for these projects. My wife and I have been together for 22 years. We enjoy each others company in every way possible. To be honest...I snore...Sometimes it irritates her but she usually just nudges me then I roll over then that's that....It's amazing that people don't marry for the right reasons anymore. I may not be quite on topic here, but both partners know what they are getting into and should work together to make the marriage last...

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  • 14. Posted by ReasonableJim on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    ridiculous. Not everyone is the same, despite how much alike we are. also, a king size bed negates pretty much everything in the article and the writer revealed themself to be slightly a nit wit by using the beyonce jay z angle. nobody cares about these people, we just listen to their music. lol

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  • 15. Posted by pammy on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    My husband and i share a bed but i am a really light sleeper and he snores, He also live on his own until he was 30 and slept in a double bed which i believe made him a bed hog. Even in a Queen size bed i am lucky if i get a quarter of the space. I have not sleep through a night in 15 years. If I only wake up 3 times a night i consider that a good night sleep. I do believe it effect my health it diffently effect my moods. Some nights I am lucky to get 3 hours of sleep And that can't be good for anyone.

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  • 16. Posted by Tahir on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    its depend if you enjoying to sleep with your partner then go for it, if you don't then sleep alone.

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  • 17. Posted by yanchyckibon... on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    I can see how this study could be true. I love sleeping with my partner but there are times i will move to couch or spare bed too sleep. Sometimes that is my best sleep.

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  • 18. Posted by Tahir on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    its depend if you enjoying to sleep with your partner then go for it, if you don't then sleep alone.

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  • 19. Posted by --- on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    Sometimes, there must be some "spaces" in a relationship, and sleeping in separate beds is a good idea. My husband & I have been married for more than 20 years now, and we sleep in separate beds but in the same room. We only share one bed during our intimate moments. For us, this made our relationship healthier.

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  • 20. Posted by cava on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    We've been doing it for years! It's the only way to go! Go to sleep when you want, wake up without waking your partner... she watches TV in bed... I don't... we both snore... never hear her or vise versa... grabbing all the covers is never an issue,,, sleep like a champ every single night! Try it... you'll never go back to the conventional!

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  • 21. Posted by KLF on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    And we are wondering why this world is heading towards destruction.....I wonder who is paying for these studies? Better not be from my tax money.

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  • 22. Posted by JP on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    I sleep in a seperate bed from my husband for different reasons. I learned to acturally like it! I didn't at first but now that the issue forced me to I'm OK with it. I don't know if I could actually go back to sleeping in the same bed. I love having my own space and finally MY OWN ROOM!

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  • 23. Posted by dandelionmom. on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    My husband and I sometimes sleep seperately. He snores and I can't stand it. it will keep me up all night. Plus, we have two small children who sometimes wake up during the night. so that, combined with his snoring makes for one grumpy wife with zero hours of sleep. Not a good situation. Our relationship does not suffer because we both know why we sleep apart sometimes. it's not every night, but most nights. I am glad to hear that it is not harmful to a relationship

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  • 24. Posted by Jay on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    I have to agree with -- vellathewench -- My spouse and I have spent most of our married life in separate bedrooms or separate beds. He snores and it keeps me awake. Also though, I run marathons in my sleep, kick and toss and turn, while he sleeps very still and hardly moves. My spouse is hot as a furnace and I like to be cool. I love to sleep by the window with a cool breeze blowing on me till late fall. We simply are not good sleep partners. On the other hand, we wake up cheery and our relationship is great. Some years ago, I met a lady from the Ukraine. She told me that she and her husband always had separate bedrooms. She said there is nothing nicer than having your man all fresh washed... rapping on your bedroom door sort of romancing you. I agree. :0)

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  • 25. Posted by Easter,Summer Solstice,Halloween Star Spangled Fun on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    Most people aren't virgins anymore nor were they on their wedding days why have married couples who are supposed to be in love with each other live as if they still were virgins????????????????????????

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  • 26. Posted by Thelma on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    I think it's CRAZY not to share a bed with your husband, i lost my husband 2 years ago to a heart attack and i would give anything to have him share a bed with me again,. You marry someone to share your live with him not sleep apart each night

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  • 27. Posted by crazy3 on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    Works for me, hubbies snoring keeps me up all night!! I actually know other couples who also sleep apart!! We're are very affectionate and have a great sex life, we are seperate when we 're sleeping so we're not missing out on anything but not sleeping:) Whatever works for your relationship and this has worked for us!

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  • 28. Posted by katz on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    I think this study has some relevance to it.

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  • 29. Posted by Joan on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    "Beyonce and hubby Jay-Z made it trendy when it was rumoured that they sleep separately, even going so far as to rent separate hotel rooms when they travel together." Umm... who cares what they do?!, the article may have been better received with just stating relevant facts... I agree with sleeping in separate beds if it will ensure a good nights sleep which does affect your day. For those of you who have no issues "sleeping" with your partners kudos too you... For those of you who sleep with freight trains if it will save a relationship; I say find another bed!!!

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  • 30. Posted by person on Fri, Sep 25, 2009

    I guess it's somewhat true. I don't sleep in separate beds with my partner because we're both pretty heavy sleepers. But my folks do because apparently my dad farts all night and it keeps my mom up.

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