Jon & Kate plus hate

Toss into this dynamic a litter of kids and a TV crew documenting your every move and, it was really just a matter of time before it all blew up in Jon's & Kate's faces.

"If you are comfy embarrassing your partner in public, it's a sign you're not into him," says Cory Donaldson, author of Don't You Dare Get Divorced Until You Read This! (TheFreedomAcademy.com) citing a particularly telling and cringe-inducing scene in which Kate gets Jon's attention in the supermarket by pointing at him and yelling at him to "come here, now" as if he's a dog.

Of course, Jon doesn't help himself by not standing up to Kate. Instead of telling her that her behaviour is hurtful and unacceptable, he simply sulks or acts out in other ways (like cheating on her with a younger woman more than willing to tolerate his childlike behaviour), adding to the dynamic.

"In every case I see," says Donaldson, who prides himself on being able to diagnose a relationship problems within 60 seconds, "one partner is looking to blame the other for the couple's problems. But it's never the partner's fault. It's your own fault."

More often than not the blame can be traced back to the fact that you've ignored a gut feeling early on in the relationship, he adds. "If your partner is embarrassing you in public and your gut tells you this is wrong and you don't trust it, that's messed up. The gut never lies.

And by betraying your gut feeling in order to keep a relationship going, you give up on your authentic self, says Donaldson, and in the end you wind up losing both.

Which is exactly what's happened with Jon & Kate as they head for divorce. Could they have stuck it out and made it work?

People don't ultimately change who they are, says Donaldson. The thing you need to ask yourself is, "Can I be authentic to myself, that is be true to who I am and have that sustained and supported by my partner while being in this relationship?"

If the answer is no, your next question is simple, says Donaldson. "Can we shut up about it and live with it or do we make the decision to move on?"

What are your thoughts on Jon & Kate's relationship? Did they stand a chance?