How to talk about it

Start with baby steps. Find ways to introduce sex into your daily conversation. If a sexual topic comes up on TV or you read an interesting article, mention it to your partner and ask them what they think. ?
Once sex becomes a more natural thing to talk about, it can be incorporated into your regular conversation topic rotation - who's turn is it to pick up the kids, where do you want to go for vacation, do you want to pick up that sex toy you were telling me about on my way home from work. You get the idea.

Get to know each other's sexual history, and by that, I don't mean how many people they've slept with. Do you know how your partner learned about sex? Do you know what their parents told them about sex? What are some of the negative messages they got about sex? These will help you understand where your partner is coming from which can be helpful when you find yourselves in sexual hot water. You can approach sexual problems with more compassion and understanding if you have better insight into what sexual baggage they're lugging around.

Find out the extent of each other's sexual knowledge. You know how when you were a kid and other kids were talking about some aspect of sex that you didn't know anything about but you pretended to know so you wouldn't look stupid? Sometimes we do that in relationships. Rather than reveal we don't know something, we say nothing and don't ask questions. There may be things each of you knows about sex that you can teach one another. Find out. If there are things you both don't know, research them together.
Expanding your sexual knowledge makes you more comfortable with the subject and also opens you up to new ideas and possibilities. Allow yourselves to be inspired.

Read to each other from books or newspaper or magazine articles about sex. Go online, share links to interesting articles or things that pique your sexual curiousity.

Play an altered version of the 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' game. You share your biggest sexual fear, I'll share mine. Swap bad sex stories from your past. Make a no judgment rule.

Share good stuff too. You probably reminisce about good times in our relationship. Swap fond sexual memories together. Have each of you recount a particularly memorable sexual moment together. Ask what made it memorable for the other person.

Also remember that actions can speak volumes and there are ways to communicate that aren't always about sitting down for 'the big talk.' During really busy stressful times, when making time for your partner can start to feel like another item on the to-do list -- do laundry, pick up dry cleaning, have talk about sex with that guy who's always leaving his socks around my house' -- make a point of communicating and connecting in tiny ways every day, compliment each other at least once, stop and look at each other in the eye and smile at each other, run her a bath, little things that remind you that you like each other.