How many of you have stayed in a relationship well past its due date just because you couldn't face the music and dump his sorry ass?
We come up with all kinds of excuses to hang on: "He's not so bad... It's better than being alone... What if I don't meet someone else?... I don't want to hurt his feelings... Maybe I'm not giving him a chance... Maybe I need to try harder... I don't want to clean up the mess when his heart breaks."
Guys are just as bad. Maybe even worse. Women are unfortunately programmed to believe we will wilt and die if we don't have a man in our lives. We are also very good at trying to keep everyone happy, even if we have to suffer a little for it. So we can come up with all kinds of lame excuses not to leave.
Guys have no such baggage. They just suddenly realize they don't like you anymore. They can't explain it and they usually won't. In fact, guys rarely come right out and dump you. They just start acting weird ("Did I say I'd call? Oh sorry, my fish died.") until you end up having to dump them.
Either way, ditching someone is dirty work. Nobody wants to be the one to tell another person that they just don't cut it anymore. There is no use pussy-footing around. Lame lines and pathetic excuses are not allowed. The direct approach is the only way to go — though there's no need for bloodshed.
Your break-up line should be difficult to refute without being cruel. "I've given this a lot of thought and I know I won't be happy," for example. No need to explain. Repeat it enough and he'll eventually get bored and go home. Except for the real cling-ons, of course. When someone really wants to hang on, anything short of "Go away!" might be construed as "there's still a chance."
Plan ahead if you're going to dump someone. Get your stuff back, especially money! But be discreet. You don't want to tip him off as to why getting your $10 back is suddenly of such pressing importance.
Another tip. Make sure you've got as much dirt on his past as he has on yours to avoid any smear campaigns when he's trying to restore his bruised ego by telling everyone all your dirty secrets.
Once you do the deed, there may be regrets and you may suddenly panic that you've made a terrible mistake. Just make sure no more than one glass of wine has been consumed in coming to this conclusion and you haven't just seen him strutting down the street arm-in-arm with some hot young thing.
With all this to consider, it's no wonder most guys choose the acting-weird-until-you're-forced-to-dump-him method.
Next week: Are you the one who's been dumped? The road to self-rediscovery.
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