My Messy Bedroom

Good vibrations

Posted Tue, Jul 22, 2008
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I've been a vibrator enthusiast since high school, when my boyfriend introduced me to his mother's plug-in model. (How's that for salacious?)

Believe it or not, vibrators have been around since 1869 when an American doctor named George Taylor invented a steam-powered massager for use in the treatment of female hysteria, a condition described as "the womb's revolt against sexual deprivation." (If I were having sex and not getting off, I'd get hysterical too.) The standard treatment was "genital massage to induce hysterical paroxysm" -- in other words, the doctor manually stimulated her to orgasm. And we know how long that can sometimes take. Vibrators saved time and effort. Of course, as a "medical instrument" they were only to be used under supervision to prevent "over indulgence." (Today, this kind of treatment would more likely succeed in landing your doctor in jail!)

By 1900, more portable battery-operated models made house calls a whole lot easier. Eventually, consumer models showed up and were advertised in women's magazines as an "aid to health" promising "health, vigour and beauty" or that "all the pleasures of youth will throb within you." By the 1920s, the psychiatrists took over and just started locking "hysterical women" up in nut houses. But that's another story.

While vibrators started to appear as sex toys in stag films of the '20s, they weren't sold explicitly for sexual use until the early '70s. Vibrators now have become "a way for women to take control of and enhance her sexuality," says the Good Vibrations Guide to Vibrators.

While I'm all for this vibrator function, I think we have to be careful not to give the vibrator too much power. It's gotten to the point these days that you feel like a sex nerd if you don't own at least six vibrators in your bedside table drawer. Still, there is no denying that, for some of us, getting over our resistance to sex toys can be liberating. It just shouldn't mean that if you don't use them you're not liberated -- that somehow you're more sexually uninhibited or adventurous if you come with attachments.

Some of us do just fine on our own. I have a friend who practically has an orgasm when she sneezes. She says she's never felt the need for a vibrator. On the other hand, vibrators are great if you're a woman who has a hard time reaching orgasm. It's a bit like having a one-night stand when you're going through a dry spell. It restores your faith and let's you know there's hope.

They're also a great tool to show your guy what you like and what it takes to get you there. Plenty of guys are even more intimidated by vibrators than women. But usually it's because they worry that a vibrator will put him out of business and she'll ride off into the sunset with her Hitachi Magic Wand. Or that he's a bad lover because he can't get there on his own. Relax guys, vibrators are not a substitute for The Real Thing. They're a "thing" all on their own. Rather than treat them as a rival, consider all the wear and tear they can save on your tongue and fingers.

Another concern about vibrators is that they're addictive. First of all -- even if it were true -- I can think of worse addictions. Usually, however, you only become addicted to things that are bad for you. Last time I checked, orgasms were a good thing. Sure, some of us may get a little attached to our vibrating friend, but so what? If you do worry you're spending too much time together, take a break and have sex without it. Think how wild that could be.

I don't think vibrators are the be all and end all. I just think they're a nice alternative once in awhile -- especially when you're feeling a bit sexually deprived.

How do you feel about vibrators? Do you own one? Do you use them as a couple?

Average (163 Ratings)4 out of 5 stars

  • 1. Posted by Sam on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    I own a Vibrator and a few other sex toys and I agree with the part where you say that guys see them as rivals but i have tried to explain to my bf that it just one things i have and use for some extra excitment. However he looks at it like im sleeping with another man lol. Never tried using one as a couple but might try that and see if my bf is up to it.

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  • 2. Posted by Paul on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    Don't forget that guys need vibrators too. Women are lacking in good appendages for giving a guy good anal lovin'.

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  • 3. Posted by John T on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    I have never met a woman yet that who would admit to using such a device. In fact I have used one, but then i'm a lover of a bit of kink, which actually cost me my marriage when she was more into the wrestling fraternity. I have been known to cross dress in absolute privacy though.

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  • 4. Posted by chocolatelove1968 on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    My hubby doesn't see it as a rival at all. Sometimes I use it alone, sometimes we use them together. Apparently my DH realizes that women and their sexuality are complicated and is happy for the help! (The medication I use makes orgasm difficult.) Also, DH has vibrators also.... some we use together, some to find HIS g-spot. Gotta love 'em!

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  • 5. Posted by Does it matter? on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    Another example of human laziness and lack of ingenuity.

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  • 6. Posted by pbj on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    OK---- So where's my wife. We could probably use some "assistance"...... This article makes me wish that I was home and not on a busisness trip. 300 miles away!!

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  • 7. Posted by amberinno on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    My husband and I use mine together; sometimes during sex (which he loves - he likes when I orgasm while he's inside me) and sometimes I use it while he's in bed with me when he's not up to lovemaking. (yup - HE's the one with the most 'headaches') :) Sometimes I control it, sometimes he does. Either way it doesn't impact negatively on our relationship at all.

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  • 8. Posted by amberinno on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    @pbj - now you know what to buy her as a returning home present :)

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  • 9. Posted by Alex D on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    You nailed it right on the nose. By the way I honestly used to date a girl who wet herself whenever she sees the real thing...the rest is history as the say goes. Let us just say everything is wonderful.

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  • 10. Posted by AtlanticBeachBares on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    We are a couple and use a few different vibrators to add variety to our sex life. The Micro Mini is great when we want to focus on orgasm, while toys made by Fun Factory are just wonderful to play with and look at.

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  • 11. Posted by oinky doinky on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    I've been single a number of years and have met a lot of women who have sex toys. Most are surprised when I ask if they have any and if they don't I'll occasionally surprise them with one. My motives are purely selfish, if she gets off often and intensely she spoils the hell out of me. LOL

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  • 12. Posted by pbj on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    Oh Thanks for the advise....... I'll be home eventually!! But what until then? ---Good advise!!

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  • 13. Posted by Christina on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    "Another example of human laziness and lack of ingenuity." Good point. Never thought of it that way. I'm 23 and have never used one. I have other things to spend my money on.

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  • 14. Posted by discoverymom on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    I own several and love them. It was my husband who actually introduced me to them. He has no problem doing thing himself but there nice for a little change in the bed. He also enjoys me using them on him. Not to insert but just sliding it around certain areas. They can be very arousing and a good part of floorplay. I would definately say if you don't have one buy one and just try it. Guaranteed to have a great time.

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  • 15. Posted by pbj on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    Boy ... I guess this post interested alot of responses, eh!! --Guess we're all bored to death at the moment..... Will have to do something about it when "we" return home, huh? ...Where's the closes place to pick up a "toy"? (assistant)

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  • 16. Posted by wakeup on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    ha ha if I see a guy bringing home one of those I really think that he is either handicap or has some problems with his "own" device, Try firs connecting with your partner, any other thing is just artificial :\

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  • 17. Posted by WakeUp on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    A good way to combine regular sex, and vibrators is to use a vibrator ring. My girlfriend and I tried one for the first time last weekend, and it was amazing.

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  • 18. Posted by lynda666angel on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    I have several different models and enjoy them all depending on my mood. While we sometimes use them as a couple, generally they are a solo act. Funny this has been on here all day and there are no other comments. LMAO

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  • 19. Posted by stcymarton on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    personally I think we get too hung up on the details. There is no better sex aid then good honest talking to one another. Open honest conversation. Nothing does more for my marriage than just knowing my partner is completely intimate with me and with that said, then we can talk about the toys and what we are comfortable with. Sheesh we came to a point in the marriage where we realized it was either start talking to a lawyer or to each other. We choose the later. Good sex starts with good comunication... stop being afraid of each other.

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  • 20. Posted by Lauren N on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    i thought at first that he bought it for me....

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  • 21. Posted by sidara71 on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    There are "toy" stores all over this lovely planet. If you are uncomfortable going into a toy store, buy a men's shaver or woman's massage/shaving kit. (use caution, obviously) ......many people do not take the time to communicate,and become comfortable telling thier lover what they want. First,you need to figure out where your spot's are. Oh ya....the whole deal with the shaver idea is that it offer's more vibration and won't break like sex toy's sometimes do. Thank goodness Im anonymous here. Happy masturbating!!!! :)

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  • 22. Posted by drew p on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    here now there nothing wronge some vibrations in the bed room .....also can add good twist to sex .......also to the twat that was say stuff about joesy.......well like this she is a stunning woman ...put this was if i got the offer i wouldnt say no lol......sex is awsome just bang away lol or have it slow and softy either way nothing like wild thing ,,,,

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  • 23. Posted by jasmyn on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    Im also a vibrator enthusiast. I've been in a commited, loving relationship for 16 years and still enjoy my toys. Old fashioned loving with a twist.

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  • 24. Posted by BOB M on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    its a good thing to save a guy from too much work

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  • 25. Posted by alexp on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    Definitely down with the vibrators! Lets get something going on male masterbation devices now!

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  • 26. Posted by dragonfly_wing2003 on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    I think vibrators a re a good thing. I'm a woman who needs a lot of stimulation to reach orgasm and the use of a vibrator to help that is awesome! I also use it with my partner, who actually bought me my first one. He was very cool about it and we went shopping for one together. Since then, we sometimes use it and sometimes don't. I will use it when I'm alone, but not every time. I have to admit though, I'm grateful to have it!

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  • 27. Posted by myfourboysandme on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    my hubby bought me one too, it helps on the days where it's taking too long to "get there" but it doesn't take away from him at all. we've been married fifteen years and still get hot for each other ;-)

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  • 28. Posted by rockystartz on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    I'm against gizmos. I believe that i capture a womens essense when my wife and I have sex(intercourse). I believe her essense is in her vaginal fluids and comes into me thru my penis and she gets my essense thru her vaginal walls with my semen. Sorry if its too graphic. I just cant get that deep level of satisfaction with a condom on, her hand or any kind of plastic. I think sex was one of the greatest gifts given to us and I try not to abuse it.

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  • 29. Posted by THEDUDEABIDES on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    Right On baby.Nothing like an orgasm to relieve stress.

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  • 30. Posted by me_spymail on Tue, Jul 22, 2008

    i am too 'green' to want to encourage a battery/electrical device for something i am fully able to accomplish for someone....save the earth, love the earth, use your tongue or anyother body part (or vegtable, but eat it after) you can!

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