Commit Me

Friends get a lot of leg room. If they don't get around to calling for a while, that's okay. A friend can be a blubbering mess one day, together and full of wisdom and insight the next. Up, down, weak, strong, however my friends are feeling, I can usually work with it and manage to enjoy a long, fulfilling relationship with them.

But, when the object of our desire eventually starts revealing himself for the hideously human creature he is, why should you be expected to put up with it, right? That would require tolerance and acceptance. Who needs it? Easier to just hold out a little longer until that perfect someone comes along, or hell freezes over, whichever comes first.

What stops us from taking the plunge? I'm not talking commitment as in 'til-death-do-we-part and can-you-pick-up-my-shirts-at-the-cleaners commitment. Just the kind that allow you both to switch off the radar, sit back, relax, and enjoy yourself without looking over your shoulder all the time. (Yes, I realize that's the only way you'll see Mr. Right if he suddenly walks into the room.) Without getting bored. 

Of course, it may be true that the right one simply hasn't come along yet, but -- just to get it out of the way now so it doesn't suddenly dawn on you when you're all alone, choking down the strained pears at Shady Rest -- the following signs could indicate that you are suffering from what is commonly referred to as: "fear of commitment:"

-- At parties, you introduce your date as your cousin, just in case.

-- The 10 per cent you don't like about him completely overshadows the 90 per cent you love.

-- "I have a lot of stuff to work out" is the most common phrase in your vocabulary.

-- You never do anything about all that stuff you have to work out.

-- You've been going out for more than a year but still can't plan anything more than a few hours in advance.

-- There is always a "but..." lingering at the end of that little "I love you" phrase.

-- Your mouth suddenly develops a nervous twitch when you try to use the word "we."
 
-- When you go to restaurants, you can only decide what to order by eliminating everything else on the menu.

-- Your grade-school teacher was always on your case about "shaaay-ring."

-- You're forever wondering if there just might be something better out there.

-- You go away on vacation and "forget" to tell him.

-- For you, the words "comfortable" and "familiar" don't belong on the same list as "relationship."

-- The kitchen tap isn't the only thing that is hot and cold when you're around.

Even the best relationship is not all smooth sailing, but there's no sense even trying in a leaky boat. If you find yourself on the receiving end of a commitmentally-challenged relationship [hint: the above traits apply to him], do yourself a favour: Get out! Yeah, I know you want to wait it out because you know he'll eventually see the light and come around. Two more words: He won't. Not before he's had his way with your self-esteem, patience, and faith in humankind. Or you're all alone, chokin' down those strained pears.