Ah, the human need to stick a label on things, hey? Once, some time back, I was in a relationship we dubbed "Frank" because everyone was so keen for us to name what we were doing while we--both not-so-long out of equally heady relationships--wanted to let things unfold in their own sweet time without putting the restrictive parameters the word "relationship" gave it. "We're Franking," we would say, both understanding what it meant--moving forward, trying things on, learning, observing, proceeding with caution. Somehow, giving it our own name made it easier to do this. It relieved the pressure, the expectations. We "Franked" for almost seven years before amicably calling it quits. It was a great Frank.
But I get this question often. Variations of: I'm been seeing this woman/man for two weeks/one month/three months, when do I know if it's a relationship? How do I know where this is going? Should I bring it up and ask?
Okay, so you've been dating a month? You're in a relationship. There, does that make you feel better? You still don't know where it's going. And you can't. Only time will tell.
In the meantime, why worry about it? And why wreck things by asking? I know how strong the temptation is to throw a lasso around it, especially if it's been a while since you've made a real connection with someone. But don't worry: if it's meant to, it'll stick around even if you don't put a claim to it. And then, at some point, when you least expect it, you'll look at each other and go, "Hey you, I'm loving this. I'm in love with you. And I hope you feel the same." So rather than worry about when or how that time will come, stay in the moment and enjoy the ride.
But I get this question often. Variations of: I'm been seeing this woman/man for two weeks/one month/three months, when do I know if it's a relationship? How do I know where this is going? Should I bring it up and ask?
Okay, so you've been dating a month? You're in a relationship. There, does that make you feel better? You still don't know where it's going. And you can't. Only time will tell.
In the meantime, why worry about it? And why wreck things by asking? I know how strong the temptation is to throw a lasso around it, especially if it's been a while since you've made a real connection with someone. But don't worry: if it's meant to, it'll stick around even if you don't put a claim to it. And then, at some point, when you least expect it, you'll look at each other and go, "Hey you, I'm loving this. I'm in love with you. And I hope you feel the same." So rather than worry about when or how that time will come, stay in the moment and enjoy the ride.


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