He doesn't share his feelings. I can't get him to open up. Whenever I try to talk to him about our relationship or try to find out what he's thinking or feeling, he doesn't have anything to say. How can I get my guy to communicate more?
You hear these kinds of complaints from women all the time.
If you're one of these women, I want you to try something with your guy. Ask him if he's happy with the level of communication in your relationship. I can almost guarantee he'll say yes, which means that you are the only one feeling like there is something lacking in the communication department of our relationship. It's an important realization.
Let's face it, women like to talk about things more than men. Sure, I've met my share of non-verbal women and chatty guys, but generally, in our communication with each other, women spend a lot of verbal time reassuring one another, checking in, talking about how we're feeling, where we're at, blah, blah, blah. A lot of guys just don't do this or don't feel the need. That doesn't mean he is unhappy or dead inside. I'm sure he is probably feeling something about the relationship. He's sticking around, isn't he? For a lot of guys, that speaks volumes. In other words, actions--especially for guys, sometimes--speak louder than words.
Rather than spend all your energy trying to make him talk, women might do better to take some time thinking about why you need him to verbalize his feelings. Is it really to improve your communication and thus your relationship or is it to reassure you that he cares and that he's actually into this thing you've got going on?
Maybe some guys could stand to verbalize their feelings a little more. But I think some women could also learn to accept that communication isn't always verbal, and that for some men, "making" them talk about their feelings is akin to asking him to order food from a restaurant in a country where he doesn't speak the language. Next thing you know, you end up with a plate of pig brains in front of you.
And be careful what you wish for. Remember that Friends episode (yes, I still watch the reruns) where Rachel dates Bruce Willis and complains he never talks about himself or his feelings. She badgers him to the point that he finally opens up and ends up crying on her lap for something like eight hours until she can't take it anymore.
You hear these kinds of complaints from women all the time.
If you're one of these women, I want you to try something with your guy. Ask him if he's happy with the level of communication in your relationship. I can almost guarantee he'll say yes, which means that you are the only one feeling like there is something lacking in the communication department of our relationship. It's an important realization.
Let's face it, women like to talk about things more than men. Sure, I've met my share of non-verbal women and chatty guys, but generally, in our communication with each other, women spend a lot of verbal time reassuring one another, checking in, talking about how we're feeling, where we're at, blah, blah, blah. A lot of guys just don't do this or don't feel the need. That doesn't mean he is unhappy or dead inside. I'm sure he is probably feeling something about the relationship. He's sticking around, isn't he? For a lot of guys, that speaks volumes. In other words, actions--especially for guys, sometimes--speak louder than words.
Rather than spend all your energy trying to make him talk, women might do better to take some time thinking about why you need him to verbalize his feelings. Is it really to improve your communication and thus your relationship or is it to reassure you that he cares and that he's actually into this thing you've got going on?
Maybe some guys could stand to verbalize their feelings a little more. But I think some women could also learn to accept that communication isn't always verbal, and that for some men, "making" them talk about their feelings is akin to asking him to order food from a restaurant in a country where he doesn't speak the language. Next thing you know, you end up with a plate of pig brains in front of you.
And be careful what you wish for. Remember that Friends episode (yes, I still watch the reruns) where Rachel dates Bruce Willis and complains he never talks about himself or his feelings. She badgers him to the point that he finally opens up and ends up crying on her lap for something like eight hours until she can't take it anymore.
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