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  • This is really confusing, can I get some help?

    Singles & Dating - 5 hours ago

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    If she has you hold her and link arms and wont let you kiss her but it's obvious there's something there, what the hell's going on lol? She asks me how I am in relationships, she keeps bringing up gf and bf thigns. She put some flowers I gave her in her scrapbook. She told me today that I'm the only guy that's ever made her nervous and that she sees the way I look at her. She looks in my eyes and says she feels theres something I want to tell her, and there is that I like her, should I turn this into a relationship? Next time I speak to her I'm going to ask her on a date.
  • Should I have done this?

    Singles & Dating - 5 hours ago

    Additional Details

    Okay, so over the years my best friend has had a really great boyfriend - or so we thought. I'm regretting it a little since I got myself involved, but what he did to her was really horrible and the way it ended wasn't good at all. I'm not going to dive too deep into the details of what happened, but since I'm trying to help my friend cope I came up with a silly and stupid ploy to do for revenge. Apparently he cheated on her with this asian girl, and I feel cruel for doing this but I photoshopped his head onto a body of a Geisha... LOL!!!!! Stupid and immature, but my best friend Jenna needed a good laugh. We're debating whether or not we should send him and that girl the photo on Myspace or Facebook, but I'm kinda scared to, haha. What do you say? I think he deserves some embarrassment... Original picture - http://i45.tinypic.com/2d9bfo0.jpg Geisha makeover - http://i45.tinypic.com/142ubn8.jpg Hahaha, it's official. I am awesome. <3
  • PORN QUESTION........?

    Marriage & Divorce - 6 hours ago

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    y husband and i have been going through a rough patch since we discovered i was pregnant in January 2008, now i have had the baby she is 3 months old my husband has started watching porn on the INTERNET body is not what it used to be and i dont like my husband becoming aroused over these women. How can i explain to my husband how i feel without making him feel like he is being attacked, he says that it helps with his sex drive does that mean i no longer turn him on. have any other women had a similar experience with there husband
  • If a girls your friend with benefits?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    But acts like you two are talking to form a relationship, what gives? What's that about? If she has you hold her and link arms and wont let you kiss her but it's obvious there's something there, what the hell's going on lol? She asks me how I am in relationships, she keeps bringing up gf and bf thigns. She put some flowers I gave her in her scrapbook. I like her, should I turn this into a relationship?
  • Should I take this in a relationship direction?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    So this girl and I are at the friends with benefits stage, but so far she hasn't even let me kiss. On saturday she was looking in my eyes calling me handsome, and shy, and she pressed her body up against mines for warmth, linked my arm in hers, I knew she likes me, but I only got to kiss her on the forehead. I rubbed her butt, rubbed her back at the party, just to let her know it's alright to be physical with me. But when around public, or my close friends, I don't like to be intimate with women. Well today she asked me how I am in relationships and she said she sees the tension in me, and she gets a weird vibe from me I say good or bad she says not bad, and that she feels theres something I want to say to her. She changed infront of me today with her sister in the room and she's real cool with me. I'm starting to like her, but stopping myself because its a friend with benefit thing.
  • I have a question, regarding her feelings?

    Singles & Dating - 7 hours ago

    Additional Details

    So this girl and I are at the friends with benefits stage, but so far she hasn't even let me kiss. On saturday she was looking in my eyes calling me handsome, and shy, and she pressed her body up against mines for warmth, linked my arm in hers, I knew she likes me, but I only got to kiss her on the forehead. I rubbed her butt, rubbed her back at the party, just to let her know it's alright to be physical with me. But when around public, or my close friends, I don't like to be intimate with women. Well today she asked me how I am in relationships and she said she sees the tension in me, and she gets a weird vibe from me I say good or bad she says not bad, and that she feels theres something I want to say to her. She changed infront of me today with her sister in the room and she's real cool with me, whats her intentions? I'm starting to like her, but stopping myself because its a friend with benefit thing. I was going to text her 2nite and say "Whats up would it be bugging if I asked if we could kick it tomorrow". Good or bad idea? Thanks. She's cool and I'd get with her, should I take it in the relationship direction?
  • Calling all guys your needed here!!!!!!!?

    Singles & Dating - 8 hours ago

    Additional Details

    ok so I always have guy friends but never a boyfriend. Well I have but it's been a long time since I Had one. So how do I get a guy friend to ask me out? or just any guy for that matter
  • my granda passed away so suddenly!!!!......................?

    Family - 8 hours ago

    Additional Details

    i am very sad now....i feel like .......... i am useless anyone can help me to cheer up before i go berserk...........T.T it happened when my grandpa talked to me.. i ask him he wan durian.. he blinked his eye and.......... left this world..............................................
  • Do you ever listen to girls conversation? What kind of things do you hear?

    Singles & Dating - 9 hours ago

    Additional Details

    I overheard some girls talking when I was walking through the hallway. I know this is sneaky and the fact that I was behind a door is different than sitting down somewhere and listening to people talk to try to talk to them or you just happen to be there. I have no experience with girls.....I never been on a date and I never had a girl that was really a friend...more like acquaintances or short term people I associate myself with I guess i'm just trying to figure them out since I can't seem to get a date
  • Does your girl want to party all the time, party all the time, parrr-tay all the tiiime?

    Singles & Dating - 9 hours ago

    Additional Details

    1kay made me ask this question, btw.

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My Messy Bedroom

Talking dirty

Posted Tue, Jun 03, 2008
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Talking dirty is a great way to explore fantasies and discover your limits and desires. It can also keep things going at a nice clip once you're more involved. And screaming out nasties in the heat of the moment is a great way to introduce yourself to the neighbours.

But talking dirty is a bit like talking about sex in public. Some people are comfortable with it than others. Some get off on talking, the raunchier the better. Still others prefer things silent, allowing them to enjoy sex as a purely physical sensation... or they're just big-time shy.

Obviously our verbal skills in bed are also determined by our moods, our level of comfort with a person (or with ourselves), how randy we are and how competent any given lover is.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Flattery or words of encouragement are good. Just make sure you're honest. You don't want to tell him how hot his cunnilingus style is when it bores you to tears. You'll be stuck with it.
  • One-night stands can be a good time to test-drive your verbal skills because there is less at stake. Mind you, if you're already shy, scoring one-night stands might be a bit of a problem.
  • Don't get too analytical when talking dirty. Let's face it, sex vocabulary is limited. Stick to four-letter words.
  • On the other hand, no need to regress. Baby talk is not hot!

One great way to practise talking dirty is to do it over the phone. Phone sex is an obvious way to stay intimate when you're physically separated, but it's also good practise for telling your partner what you like and for discovering his turn-ons. It usually makes things even hotter when you do finally get your grubby little hands all over each other.

The biggest challenge with phone sex, however, is getting over the "I feel ridiculous" hump. Unless we've worked as phone-sex operators, most of us don't know where to begin. "What are you wearing?" gets a little tired. Well, lucky for you, I've spoken to a few phone-sex operators over the years. Here are some of their suggestions to get you going:

  • Set the mood just as you would if you were together — candles, nice lighting, a glass of wine.
  • Use a lot of sweet talk and a soft, low voice. Focus on each other. Tell your partner wonderful things about his body — what you like about the way it looks, the way it smells, the way it reacts to your touch.
  • Use a lot of detail, which those in the professional phone-sex business emphasize is distinct from just being explicit. Describe exactly what you see happening in your mind in minute detail, and get all the senses involved.
  • If your imagination isn't up to it, describe a particular hot session you've had together in the past. Describe what you liked about it.
  • Use sound effects. Here's your chance to perform. Give him your best blowjob imitation, gags and all.
  • If you don't want your phone sex life to become predictable, try reading to each other from a sexy book.
  • To avoid cauliflower ear and a kink in your neck, consider investing in a headset.

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1 Comment

  • 1. Posted by kw on Thu, Aug 07, 2008

    The tips presented in this article are okay, but they don't take into account that most couples have different ways of getting it on. If my boyfriend and I went with the tips it would be completely awkward, because I tend to have a childish glee while he's the silly silent type. Candles? Wine? Lighting? Nah, we'll take some video games, ice cream, and a ticklefight. Other couples don't even want a setting; they would rather you say what you're doing (rubbing this, squeezing that, etc.) And of course, there's the simplest method; talk about it. If there's something I want to say during sex, I'll run it by him (would you mind if I say such-and-such now and then?) Believe it or not, it makes a huge difference in comfort levels.

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