My best friend's guy

61. Posted by Laura on Wed, May 28, 2008

I married my friends ex, he was the one who asked me out. Afterall I was living with my friends brother for number of years before so I guess we kind of felt for one another. We are very happy together.

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62. Posted by Mike B on Wed, May 28, 2008

with your friend's permission AND fact that they now live in different cities about 500 miles apart...yeah, go ahead.

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63. Posted by Andrew K on Wed, May 28, 2008

Dont ever do it. Ever. I did, and have since broken up with her only to realize that losing my friend wasn't worth even the best moments I had with her. Not worth it at all. Find someone else.

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64. Posted by on Wed, May 28, 2008

Ummmm hells no its not alright that is totally breakign the cardinal rule of friendship you never ever date each others exbf's that just is a friendshiop breaker right there and talk about the beat down you'd get if you did break the rule geez how stupid can you be....

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65. Posted by metalocalypso5150 on Wed, May 28, 2008

what if the friend wasn't a best friend and he's heading off to university on in a far away place, but also on the other hand they only broke up for that reason and it was a very loving relationship, but i was always there for the girl and i genuinely have feelings for her... Would making a move on her make me that horrible of a person?

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66. Posted by borderbabe1253 on Wed, May 28, 2008

Tacky, but done all the time. It is a lack of maturity in a situation like this. If you value your girlfriend you would never even consider dating an ex.

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67. Posted by Nicole C on Wed, May 28, 2008

I gotta say, I've been in this situation. Maybe it's different, being a lesbian, maybe not, but I was friends with this one woman (Girl A) for years (we almost got together, actually) then she became friends with another woman (Girl B), introduced me, and the three of us became best friends. Girl B broke up with her girlfriend, and started sleeping with Girl A. About halfway through their relationship, I realized that I was falling for Girl B, but, as both were my friends, I didn't say anything. Couple months later, Girls A and B broke up, and Girl B and I spent a lot of time talking and realized that we loved each other. Needless to say, I talked to Girl A about it a lot. Their break-up was mutual, and for the simple reason that they didn't love each other like that, all it was was good sex, and they both knew it. Girl A said she was fine with me dating Girl B. Despite that, we didn't really start dating then -- although we would have, if not for outside reasons. It took us 8 1/2 months to actually get around to being official. But, once Girl A realized that I was serious about loving Girl B, she tried her damnedest to make me think that Girl B was the most evil person on the planet. In fact, she'd been somewhat verbally abusive behind Girl B's back even while they were dating. So yeah, I did have to choose, and I chose the ex of one of my best friends. But I also realized during that 4 months that I didn't really want to be friends with "Girl A" anyway. Girl B and I have been together for 6 1/2 months now, and there isn't a single moment where I regret the decision we made. I would not go back and change it for anything.

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68. Posted by Lex on Wed, May 28, 2008

I think you need to look at the circumstances of the breakup. I know a guy who went out with his best friend's ex-girlfriend (one of my best friends) and it worked out exceptionally well. Granted, his best friend did the dumping, and he did wait over six months to ask her out. He also asked his friend for permission first. But it's not necessarily an automatic no-no, so much as something that should be approached with caution.

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69. Posted by Lilia on Wed, May 28, 2008

So... why is it so 'horrible' to date a friend's ex? What if, theoretically, your friend and her boyfriend broke up on mutual terms, and remained good friends (though no longer dating) and your friend not only approved of you dating her ex, but encouraged it as well?

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70. Posted by Sarah on Wed, May 28, 2008

you know once my sister was hitting on a guy i liked! i was pissedddddd!!!! couldnt emagine she actually going out with him!

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71. Posted by ladymisty6 on Wed, May 28, 2008

I was 23 at the time and recently broken up with my boyfriend of five years. I started to go out more, and hang out more with my friend (we were closer in high school). We were hanging out constantly for a few months, and I told her that we broke up. Less than 3 weeks later they were together. Things got ugly thereafter. I wanted to be cool about it because I loved being around her and I had no desire to take my ex back, but I also wanted to be friends with him. She couldn't stand that.. so needless to say - our friendship was not salvagable. She couldn't even admit to me that they were together. Instead, she ignored all of my calls and snubbed me when I seen them together. Its been a few years and I told her recently to forget everything, it's in the past and I'm over it.. Although I met someone soon after, it still took a while for me to get over the pain that these people caused me... I would never do this to any of my friends .. to me no lousy ex is worth losing a friend over.. I really must say though, I have fsome riends who are constantly fighting over guys - they have one night stands, or even just making out - have no interest in pursuing these guys - and if another girl decides shes interested - the other one is enraged.. what is up w/ that people? You have no right to claim a conquest of yours months or years ago.. one night of sex is NOT a relationship. I think these guys are up for grabs (if you are interested in that sort of thing) haha ...

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72. Posted by frankieferrier on Wed, May 28, 2008

I don't know, but I think it's so hard to find love these days, so why not go ahead and date your friend's ex? What if the chemistry is right, as someone said? Is there really a rule against that? Never heard of it. Life is short, I say enjoy it while you can.

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73. Posted by Furry on Thu, May 29, 2008

It's not the dating a friend's ex that is necessarily wrong - sometimes it could work out well for all involved. The BIG point is that if you don't qualify your friend's feelings on the situation beforehand, it just looks really selfish and deceptive.

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74. Posted by yukoncherish on Thu, May 29, 2008

Ooo, that is a tricky situation! I have dated friends exes before but the circumstances were pretty special... one was an ex from about 5 years before I met the friend, and another was an ex from junior high and we were into our 20's by the time we hooked up... I think it is always best to check with your friend first, as long as it wasn't a messy breakup or a recent one - most friends will understand...

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75. Posted by BARBARA P on Thu, May 29, 2008

I see nothing wrong with it,as long as the break up isn't fresh and your friend is still hurting. Life is short just because they didn't work out doesn't mean that you won't. Who knows the two of you might be a better match.

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76. Posted by BRADLEY A on Thu, May 29, 2008

It's just not the right think to do show respect for your friend and your self it could cost a good friend wich genraly will last a life time and when your that close to a friend your cominality on thinks like that are usely the same

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77. Posted by remz on Fri, May 30, 2008

Do what u want to do as long as u happy but put limitations all the time and think million times first...Be matured!!!

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78. Posted by shaolyn007 on Fri, May 30, 2008

Is all good chasing after a friend`s ex cuz i personally don`t see wrong about it.

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79. Posted by jesse on Fri, May 30, 2008

this is a tough thing to handle because its such a delicate situation, ive been in this situation before where my friend wanted to date my ex and it was like a week after we broke up i was glad he asked me before hand and told me his feelings and stuff and i told him that it was a little soon and that if he could give me some time to get over it, it would alright with me, the fact the he respected me enough to ask me about it was what helped me cope with it... girlfriends/boyfriends come and go so is it really worth losing a friend over ? again depending on circumstances i mean if you were married thats different i don't even want to go into that anyway thats just my opinion...

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80. Posted by nmkatchaluba@rogers.com on Fri, May 30, 2008

My friend and my husband hooked up - i can't see any rational, moral or other reason why it should be acceptable. With the world population the size it is, are you that desperate that you can't look beyond your immediate line of vision? remember the phrase about *hitting where you eat? It's not going to end well for anyone. There is never one "one and only" there are a few- so if you think your friends ex is yours, look on, you're sure to find another.

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81. Posted by Terry on Fri, May 30, 2008

I do not date my friend's exes, I don't even date their cousins, brothers etc. It's in poor taste. I have been attracted to cousins, brothers, friends but have never acted in on it knowing it would reap havoc. Also knowing how it would make me feel to see my ex with my friend or my sister...knowing I would imagine them doing the hoopla. Which I so do not want to imagine !! I don't care how long it has been, it's just not right.

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82. Posted by kickstart on Sat, May 31, 2008

OK with me , you already know what the persons like, Ive done it and everyone got along fine. We eventually split, but It didnt have anything to do with my friend. Shes gone ,were still friends and whenever we have a few beers together we compare the crap she pulled on us.

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83. Posted by Veronica on Sat, May 31, 2008

If my friend is not with this guy anymore, why should I take him on my shoes? Is like going out with my sister ex...no thanks... I can find my man by myself....

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84. Posted by khanaisha65 on Sun, Jun 01, 2008

There is no religious or legal prohibition to dating one's freind's ex. People are free to choose who they want a relationship with. As long as the previous two people have decided on their own that they no longer want to be together. Then that's it. They should have no stake in deciding who they choose to be with after that and people are not food. You can't call people leftovers. If the ex has issues regarding the matter or find it inconvenient too bad.

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85. Posted by ryan on Sun, Jun 01, 2008

do i think its ok yes, you dont own anybody if there happy let it be.

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86. Posted by ryan on Sun, Jun 01, 2008

yes i think its ok ,if there happy let it be

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87. Posted by musanike on Mon, Jun 02, 2008

it don,t matter seeing your friend dating your ex's becos it possible thing don,t go well between u and your ex's and it is possible is well between two of them so you just take heart.

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88. Posted by jaytrix on Mon, Jun 02, 2008

It depends. Usually I would say not ok, but...last year I started dating an ex of an acquaintance. I had been friends with him two years before I met her. They had been apart for 4 years and she was in a two year relationship. I lost a potential friendship over it and she asked me to change churches. It's been well worth it as we know after the second date we'd be together forever. We will get married in 2 weeks!

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89. Posted by amilana@rogers.com on Mon, Jun 02, 2008

its extremely selfish and painful for all parties. it also says a lot about a person's character.

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90. Posted by cjon70 on Thu, Jun 19, 2008

The long and the short of it is that you feel more comfortable with someone that you know (even just slightly) than getting your buns in gear and casting around for an unknown. Also, every guy (unless he's lived in a cave since puberty) has been someone else's guy. If it's truly over between him and his previous, what does it matter? ~Dr. Jon

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