I honestly think the government should pass legislation that forces people who are newly single to wear a sign on our foreheads that reads: "I'm on the rebound." Much like those nasty surgeon general warnings on cigarette packs. It's only responsible to inform the public of the potential risks involved. We all know that rebounders are hazardous to our health. That's because a rebounder isn't looking for love, a rebounder is looking for pain relief, validation and something to stave off the horrible fear that they will die bitter and alone.
Getting involved with a rebounder is a proceed-at-your-own-risk venture, but it's only fair that those on the rebound respect some rebound relationship rules. As a responsible rebounder, you should:
- Avoid packing all your baggage from the last relationship and dumping it on the doorstep of the first person that takes pity on you -- I mean, agrees to go out with you.
- Do not drag replacement material -- ahem, new people -- into unresolved drama with your ex. The new guy should not be subject to jealous rages and flying chairs if you happen to run into the ex on the street.
- Limit sexual activity to flirting and crushes for the first few months. As long as no one gets naked, there is less risk of anyone getting hurt. Flirting gives you that superficial I've-still-got-it confidence that helps you get over an ex, and no one has to dodge flying chairs.
Obviously, some of us bounce back quicker than others. And some of us really are ready to move on soon after a newly ended relationship. But to find out if your new date is a little too fresh to be on the market, I'd watch for these signs and consider leaving him or her on the shelf:
- You meet the person's friends and every one tells you how much you look like his or her ex.
- He or she starts every sentence with, "Oh, I'm sorry, but this just reminds me of the time me and [the ex]...."
- You go to your date's house for the first time and notice a 15X17 glossy of their ex...above their bed!
- When your new date suggests you meet her at their favourite drinking hole and spends the entire time glancing over your shoulder at the door until, big surprise, her ex walks in. Further proof this person is in full rebound is that he or she suddenly acts all into you -- a sure sign that he or she is trying to prove to the ex how absolutely fabulously happy they are and are using you as a prop. This would be your cue to exit the stage.
Getting involved with a rebounder is a proceed-at-your-own-risk venture, but it's only fair that those on the rebound respect some rebound relationship rules. As a responsible rebounder, you should:
- Avoid packing all your baggage from the last relationship and dumping it on the doorstep of the first person that takes pity on you -- I mean, agrees to go out with you.
- Do not drag replacement material -- ahem, new people -- into unresolved drama with your ex. The new guy should not be subject to jealous rages and flying chairs if you happen to run into the ex on the street.
- Limit sexual activity to flirting and crushes for the first few months. As long as no one gets naked, there is less risk of anyone getting hurt. Flirting gives you that superficial I've-still-got-it confidence that helps you get over an ex, and no one has to dodge flying chairs.
Obviously, some of us bounce back quicker than others. And some of us really are ready to move on soon after a newly ended relationship. But to find out if your new date is a little too fresh to be on the market, I'd watch for these signs and consider leaving him or her on the shelf:
- You meet the person's friends and every one tells you how much you look like his or her ex.
- He or she starts every sentence with, "Oh, I'm sorry, but this just reminds me of the time me and [the ex]...."
- You go to your date's house for the first time and notice a 15X17 glossy of their ex...above their bed!
- When your new date suggests you meet her at their favourite drinking hole and spends the entire time glancing over your shoulder at the door until, big surprise, her ex walks in. Further proof this person is in full rebound is that he or she suddenly acts all into you -- a sure sign that he or she is trying to prove to the ex how absolutely fabulously happy they are and are using you as a prop. This would be your cue to exit the stage.
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