Send to Printer Visit Yahoo! Canada Lifestyle
Print:
Back to Post

Who's the most stressed about school these days? Surprise! It's you, Mom and Dad

Posted Tue, Feb 12, 2008
POST A COMMENT »

Back when we were growing up, school was much more the kid's problem. It's not that parents didn't care how their kids were doing in school. (You figured that out pretty quickly if you brought home a D in math.) It's just that there was a much clearer divide between the world of kids and the world of grown-ups; and everyone agreed that school was a kid's issue - unless, of course, it caused hassles for the grown-ups.

Fast-forward a generation and we're living in a very different time: a time when the boundaries between the world of grown-ups and the world of kids can get erased as swiftly as the chalk lines in the playground get washed away after a heavy rainfall. Suddenly school is the entire family's problem — and that applies to college- and university-aged kids as much as it applies to kindergarteners.

And I'm not just talking about families headed up by Type A++ parents — the kinds of parents who get stressed out about everything. School anxiety is highly democratic and highly contagious: no group of parents is entirely immune.

So what's causing this outbreak of school-related stress?

For the most part, the chronic time crunch that underlies most other sources of stress in our lives.

With two parents working outside the home in the majority of Canadian households, a school-related curve ball like a snow day (or two snow days in a single week, heaven help you, like what happened in many parts of Ontario last week) can spell disaster for some families. (The school board's definition of a snow day, the local municipality's definition of a snow day, and your employer's definition of a snow day don't always mesh, haven't you noticed?)

And then there's the issue of homework. For years, parents have been complaining about how much homework elementary school students have been asked to complete each night, in some schools starting when kids are barely tall enough to get on the bus by themselves. Parents have pointed out that homework gets in the way of fun and causes stress in the family. A study conducted by researchers at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education (OISE) supports these assertions and proves what parents have long suspected: doing homework isn't particularly beneficial to elementary-school-aged kids.

So don't be surprised if Johnny shows up at school one day with a note excusing him from doing his homework permanently — and citing that OISE study. A lot of moms and dads have been doing their homework on homework and they're ready to give it a failing grade.

Does your family suffer from school-related stress? What do you think about your child's homework load? What should schools do to maximize learning, but still give kids the freedom to be kids?

Related:

Leave a comment

16 Comments

  • 1. Posted by nanci on Tue, Feb 19, 2008

    I agree - I am a mom and a teacher - if my child comes home with too much homework we just send it back undone. As a parent I have to attend to my child's social, physical and emotional needs as well as his cognitive skills. There are only so many hours in a day and if I want him to play sports, engage in creative activities, read books with him and also allow him the unoccupied time that I believe children need then we don't necessarily have time to label a map of South America (or whatever the busy work of the day happens to be)

    Report Abuse

  • 2. Posted by Mouselady on Tue, Feb 19, 2008

    2 hours of homework a night is NOT too much. Maybe if they looked more than one generation in the past they'd have realized that. 30 years ago I absolutely had at least two hours of homework a night and that was on top of a part time job. Time management is a valuable tool and it should be learned early.

    Report Abuse

  • 3. Posted by smeep22003 on Tue, Feb 19, 2008

    Homework gives parents an opportunity to work with their kids and see what is happening in the class. It can be an opportunity for kids to demonstrate what they can do. It doesn't have to be a negative thing. It could be a chance for some of these parents out there to actually interact with their kids. Too many parents out there send their kids off to school for the day and then to other activities in the evening and never spend any actual time engaging their kids one on one. Make it fun and work on the homework with your child. Make them enjoy it by showing them it is an activity with value.

    Report Abuse

  • 4. Posted by remote jockey on Tue, Feb 19, 2008

    If the teachers can't get it all done while in class, maybe a few less PD days will fix the problem. Sheesh, I have never seen such a spoiled group of people. PD days, two months off in summer, Easter, Christmas and everything else, how many hours are wasted doing nothing, and how many hours a day are spent not teaching.

    Report Abuse

  • 5. Posted by nanci on Tue, Feb 19, 2008

    Ummm Ed consider this - as a teacher I am paid for 200 days a year and that is it. Anyone else in any other profession who only got paid for 200 days a year would be able to collect Employment insurance but teachers can either choose to have no paycheque in the summer or spread their 200 days pay over the year. We aren't on paid vacations when school isn't in - no one goes into teaching if their goal is to get rich. Poster number 3 - 2 hours is far too much - would you like to go to work for the day and then come home and do 2 more hours at night? Not too many of us would and just because something was done in the past doesn't mean we don't know better now! Poster 4 - fine if it has value and is interesting but that is not always the case. Parents need to decide what has value for their own children. Playing a game together is likely more valuable than doing some busywork worksheet. Remember parents are in charge and make the decisions. No matter what gets sent home parents have the final word on whether it is valid and important or whether you have better things to do.

    Report Abuse

  • 6. Posted by Ms. Dina on Wed, Feb 20, 2008

    If the Ontario elementary schools were actually teaching kids, instead of trying to control them with drugs perhaps the stress factor would be eliminated and kids would understand what is expected of them. Its quite shocking to see children lined up at school offices at lunchtime to take 'adhd' and other medication being handed out like candies at the office counter..not to mention the stress parents have to deal with by outside intervention of social workers and/or lack of real support they need...not to mention time actually spent 'learning' in the classrooms once announcements, and all other interuptions and disruptions are taken into consideration, very little time during the school day is actually spent 'learning' ~ do the math! .Luckily a few gutsy parents have stood up to this hypocracy and ruination of children and their love of learning, and have pulled the children out of the 'system' to homeschool them. No meds, no frills, just a love of learning, of being secure, of feeling confident they can achieve a high level of succcess ....we are in our second year of homeschooling, and yes, we are following the Ontario Curriculum from the Independent Learning Centre....it's an absolutely wonderful alternative ....we can say, "homework" is a way of our lives, my children love learning and have become much more independent and confident and yes we have time to explore, learn ...by the way, as a single mother we live on a shoestring budget as well however my children lack nothing....hey...what about a tax break for homeschooling parents?? I teach the same curriculum as the Ontario Public schools teach, i must also pay for all our books, supplies, etc without compensation AND I still pay my taxes to support public schools...go figure!

    Report Abuse

  • 7. Posted by iggee85 on Wed, Feb 20, 2008

    This sums up what "homework" amounts to these days: http://www.wetherobots.com/comics/2008-02-18-Lesson.jpg

    Report Abuse

  • 8. Posted by anndouglas on Wed, Feb 20, 2008

    Wow, this is obviously an issue that people feel strongly about. I know I do. I experimented with different schooling environments during my own growing up years. I did most of my schooling at a mainstream public school and then finished my last two years of high school at a fabulous alternative high school run by the Peel Board of Education in Mississauga. That school encouraged me to be a free-spirited, independent thinker and gave kids like me who had hated the mainstream public school system for some reason a place where we could could grow and thrive. I've also experimented with educational choices as a parent -- even though I live in a community where there aren't that many choices. My youngest child has Asperger's syndrome. His experience in his home school was a disaster. His experience at a private school was more positive but, in the end, we were asked to withdraw him from the school because the school didn't have the resources to deal with his behavior. Now he's being home-schooled out of my office, with the support of a tutor -- and he's thriving. My other three kids have survived, but not necessarily thrived, in the lean-and-mean educational system that was the legacy of the Ontario budget cuts of the mid-1990s. As a parent, I have been infuriated by the double-speak and the bureaucracy that I have encountered while advocating for my children. At the same time, I have been moved to tears by incredible acts of caring and kindness shown to my kids by teachers, librarians, vice principals, and attendance secretaries. How can the system be so right and so wrong at the same time?

    Report Abuse

  • 9. Posted by Cristen on Wed, Feb 20, 2008

    Hey Ed S....if you think it's such a easy job, teaching, and that we are so spoiled with all our PD Day (which are spent, by the way, learning how to teach the kids in more effective ways through courses and meetings - I'm sure you have those at your work yes? Meetings?) then why don't you put yourself through Teacher's College and get out their and teach?

    Report Abuse

  • 10. Posted by Cristen on Wed, Feb 20, 2008

    Hey Ed S....if you think it's such a easy job, teaching, and that we are so spoiled with all our PD Day (which are spent, by the way, learning how to teach the kids in more effective ways through courses and meetings - I'm sure you have those at your work yes? Meetings?) then why don't you put yourself through Teacher's College and get out their and teach?

    Report Abuse

  • 11. Posted by smeep22003 on Wed, Feb 20, 2008

    Oh Ed, you are such a stereotype. Just when do you think teachers are going to mark, plan, develop materials, develop IPPs for students, read the curriculum, synthesize new projects, create tests and assignments, evaluate past teaching materials? Do you want them doing all that while they are 'teaching' your children? In any other industry employees are given time to prepare to do their job without censure. Despite the fact that teachers are not paid for the summer (they are paid for 10 months of work) most of them spend a great deal of time creating the materials they need to teach our children. I personally do not want them unprepared in the class. You are one of those people who sees school as a babysitting option and the PD Days mean you have to actually parent your children. Suck it up Princess.

    Report Abuse

  • 12. Posted by Mia T on Wed, Feb 20, 2008

    I think that many students do have too much homework...It's unfortunate. Many students hate school and then to be forced to do what seems like more work at home can be incredibly draining on our most vulnerable students. However, I think most teachers work by the same process I do....what doesn't get finished durring class time gets finished at home. Those who work in class have not homework...those who don't work in class have to complete it somewhere. What's more unfortunate is how people don't have respect for school itself. While once and a while it's certainly okay to send in a note saying home work's not complete, to many notes sends a message to kids that school's not important. That leads to the "our printer broke, we didn't have time to get to the library this weekend" notes that continue. I teach high school so obviously it's a different situation but years and years of students being excused by their parent doesn't teach responsibility. The issue is not the homework per se, it's what the homework represents. If a student has a busy weekend and they say on Friday, "Mrs. _________- I'm not going to be able to get my work done becasue _____________" that shows responsiblity. Most teacher I know would more than accept that. We would much prefer that over the Monday note "Johnny could do his assignment because ____________". I think parents would be amazed at the reason kids have so much homework (not to say that someday more isn't assigned).....if each student is given 20-25 minutes to complete their work (typical) in class (times four classes) and they chat with their friends most of that time, that's their two hours right there!! In grade 7 and 8 you can make that times 6 subjects....It doesn't mean that th

    Report Abuse

  • 13. Posted by Mia T on Wed, Feb 20, 2008

    This is the compromise...I can give fewer assignments and test, but that means fewer opportunites for students to demonstrate their sucess (or to make a mistake and grow) and it means the "dreaded" report card marks will be based on fewer marks. Can parents live with that? Could they be happy with one or two assignments per expectation? I think as parents, students, teachers and members of the "system", we do the best we can in the situation we're in. It would be great to change the system...but that would mean everyone working togehter....look at this board, how well do you think that's going to work?

    Report Abuse

  • 14. Posted by Mouselady on Thu, Feb 21, 2008

    nanci: I do come home from a full time job and spend at least two hours working. I can bring work home with me, I make dinner, clean up, do laundry, etc. Children who see their parents working hard but by planning for it properly can still spend time with them, learn by example. I still say two hours of homework is not too much and teaches the students about hard work and time management.

    Report Abuse

  • 15. Posted by anndouglas on Fri, Feb 22, 2008

    Two more comments from me: 1. Sending work home that didn't get finished because students used their time poorly in class seems like a sensible strategy to me. It teaches the student important lessons about time management (you do it now or you do it later) and it can help to tip mom and dad off early on that there may be a problem (the student may have poor study skills, an undiagnosed learning disability, etc). 2. Teacher bashing isn't cool -- just as making across-the-board negative statements about any group of people isn't cool. The school system definitely has its problems/challenges these days, but it's not fair to dump on teachers just because they are the most visible "face" of education in most communities -- at least IMHO.

    Report Abuse

  • 16. Posted by milverton3 on Mon, Mar 03, 2008

    I am a 51 yr old married father with a G 12 daughter and G10 son. I am your worst nightmare for a parent as I have been known to ask our kids each day what homework they have and try to ensure they complete. Now that the kids are this old, I generally fail at motivating them this way. I believe that they do have far too much to learn in courses like Chemistry, Physics, Math in these newly compressed courses that were developed after Grade 13 was cancelled. I can see they the kids do not have the fun and enjoyment of school that we had in the 70s when we could go a few days at a time without always doing homework. Classes start to early as well - 8 am? What happened to the old 845 to 345 day? Teachers have too much work to do as well. Of course teachers have 2-3 hours of work to do each night. Its a difficult job and its difficult to be a student as well. Standards to get into university are too high now. What is wrong with having a 70% average student getting into a science or business program. These kids cannot get into any program with those marks. The pressure on my kids to get 80% averages is enormous. It requires doing more study, repeating homework to become perfect at the skill, and losing out on family, social, and school activities during their high school years. We have turned school into a cut throat business where it is survival of the fittest, much like it is in the working world. If we added back Grade 13, we could space out the work more across all grades, and reduce the stress and pressure of a 4 year program. This would allow kids to learn more gradually and bring fun and free time back into their lives.

    Report Abuse

LEAVE YOUR COMMENT
character(s) remaining

You must sign in to leave a comment