Back when I was the parent of three children under the age of three, I remember reading some magazine article that stressed the importance of taking time for yourself every day. It was actually a fairly decent article. By that I mean that it didn't expect you to have an unlimited budget or a live-in nanny (or both).
This article suggested listening to music that you liked while you were busy going about your day, so I got in the habit of cranking up singer-songwriter Nancy White's fabulous ode to motherhood — Momnipotent — while I was changing diapers or trying to chase down the last missing block in a block set. (I was still immersed in my short-lived find-all-the-toy-pieces-at-the-end-of-each-day stage.)
On days when the kids were extra cranky, I'd pour myself a giant mug of super-strong coffee and light cedar-scented candles so I could pretend I was at a spa: The Parenthood Spa — where parents are treated to a full menu of spa services for free; and the government picks up the tab in appreciation of all that moms and dads do to nurture the next generation.
That fantasy was just part of what kept me going. The other part was this totally intoxicating promise that came at the end of the article — that after the busy years of raising kids, I'd get this paid back in spades with this huge amount of "me time" in my forties.
That vision has kept me going from 1988 (when I had my first child) until now. But now I'm starting to wonder when or if the motherlode of me-time is going to arrive. I mean, I'm 44. My kids are 19, 18, 16, and 10. At one point, people were predicting I'd be lounging on Easy Street by now.
But my life still seems to be busy and full. Happy, busy and full, mind you, but nothing even remotely resembling the me-time stage of life I'd been anticipating, based on that article I read way back when.
So what do you think: was that article a figment of my sleep-deprived imagination as a new mother? Or has the speed of life ramped up so much and so rapidly that we no longer hold out the hope of leisure time until well into retirement, if then?
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