The secret dividends to raising kids with an attitude of gratitude

Having your kids finally say how much they appreciate you the pot of gold at the end of the parenting rainbow.

It's one of the rewards you look forward to during the long (and often thankless) nights of walking the floor with an unhappy baby or waiting up for a teen to arrive home safely when he has the car.

But getting that thank you isn't the only reason to raise kids who are grateful for what they have (including loving parents).

Gratitude is one of the key ingredients in leading a happy life.

Not everyone is equally adept at expressing those feelings of gratitude.

A study (.pdf) published in the June 2009 issue of the Journal of Personality concluded that women find it easier to express feelings of gratitude than men; and that they reap all kinds of dividends as a result: 'Women were also more likely to possess grateful dispositions, and those who did found or created greater well-being in their lives over time compared with men.'

Men, on the other hand, associate feelings of gratitude with a feeling of being indebted to someone else (you gave me a gift and now I owe you a gift or a favor); and hate being put in this position.

The way we're socialized as children affects how we handle our emotions as adults, notes Todd Kashdan, associate professor at George Mason University in Northern Virginia, and the study's lead researcher. 'Because men are generally taught to control and conceal their softer emotions, this may be limiting their well-being.'

There's also a solid body of research to show that being grateful is good for your health -- something that is worth remembering if you have a tendency to kvetch and complain about every little thing (or if you know someone like that).

So what does this mean to us as we go about raising the next generation?

If we want to maximize our kids' opportunities for happiness, we should teach both our sons and our daughters to express their emotions and to adopt an attitude of gratitude as they move through life.

In other words, teach them that they should be thankful for the opportunities that they've been given in life, and to express their feelings of appreciation every day; not just once a year.

So tell me: how is that working out in your family?

DID YOU KNOW?

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