Teens and young adults need privacy. So act like a parent, not a stalker.
It goes without saying that younger kids need you to keep a watchful eye on them while they're learning the rules of the online world. But as they grow older, you'll need to adjust your gameplan.
Older teens and young adults have a need for privacy. It's not that they are being super-secretive. It's simply that there are things about their private lives that they want to keep to themselves. Did you tell your parents everything about your life when you were 18 or 21? The difference today, of course, is that the lives of teens today are being played out online.
It goes without saying that younger kids need you to keep a watchful eye on them while they're learning the rules of the online world. But as they grow older, you'll need to adjust your gameplan.
Older teens and young adults have a need for privacy. It's not that they are being super-secretive. It's simply that there are things about their private lives that they want to keep to themselves. Did you tell your parents everything about your life when you were 18 or 21? The difference today, of course, is that the lives of teens today are being played out online.
If your teen adds you as a Facebook friend, don't try to make friends with all his or her Facebook friends, act like a Facebook stalker, or make Facebook your second home. And as for reading wall-to-wall conversations all day long? It's the Facebook equivalent of eavesdropping on telephone conversations. Tacky....
If you want to find out what's going on in your kids' lives, try the old-fashioned approach: talking to them by phone or in person or emailing or text-messaging them to ask them how things are going. And remind yourself: it's their decision how much they decide to share.
You'll increase the likelihood that they'll want to be open with you by behaving more like a parent and less like an Internet stalker. Everyone gets creeped out by stalker-like behavior, after all.
If your kids invite you to be part of their online life, accept the invitation for what it is: a privilege. The online world is very important to this generation of kids. So having them invite you to be part of that aspect of their lives means that they trust you to respect their boundaries and their need for privacy. Prove to them that you are worthy of that trust.
Related:
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