Lifestyle questions and answers

Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people on Yahoo! Canada Answers

  • Calling all guys your needed here!!!!!!!?

    Singles & Dating - 4 hours ago

    Additional Details

    ok so I always have guy friends but never a boyfriend. Well I have but it's been a long time since I Had one. So how do I get a guy friend to ask me out? or just any guy for that matter
  • Does your girl want to party all the time, party all the time, parrr-tay all the tiiime?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    1kay made me ask this question, btw.
  • How to deal with nights like tonight?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    Perhaps I've seen one to many horror movies about a teen girl home alone but im genuinly scared right now. Im only 14 but my mom lives an hour away and my dad works nights! He started working nights like during the summer but i was never worried because i was always 1 mile away from my grandparents and my aunt so i knew they could be here in a matter of minutes. either that or on nights he had to work i'd just spend the night with them. But tonight my dad wont be back for hours and my aunt is out of town and my grandparents went out to eat with some long lost relatives ( i was not invited ) so im very paranoid as you can tell. Every noise freaks me out (which there are many because even though its the country i live in a busy neighborhood. how do i deal with this? all my family is either at dinner 30 min away and no where near ready to finish, out of town on buisness or (my moms side of the family) lives 4 states away!! IM ONLY 14!!! I talked to my dad but he wont work days so i have to deal with it but my aunt is a cop and this city isnt exactly safe so please help me!!! How do i get through the night without being scared?
  • am i pretty!?!?!?!?!?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    seriously, im having a crisis, if i spelled it right....i need well, actually ANYBODYS opinion, if this was a desent pic of me, do u guys think im pretty, if u dont, what can i do to change that!?!?!?!?!
  • Do ladies get turned on by a guy with a deep voice or is that all myth?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

  • How do I stay with him, when his friends are like this?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    So earlier today, this guy asked me out. Hey guess what! we're going out now ! Now, I'm going through some problems. I'm bengali[if you don't know what that is, loook it up foool!] and hes black. so we're completely different, I dont know why he'd go for a girl like me . But I really really like him. Its being so awkward for me , and Im not racist, but its playing around with my hormones; getting me mad, some of his black friends come up to mee & they're like; "dayymm , didn't know you liked niggaaas" I try to ignore them. But also, a lot of people aren't liking us together. I was gonna be with him at lunch, but I saw him with his "brothaaas" ; He said he wanted to chill with me , BUT its really affecting everything. So I chilled with my bestfriend, and stayed away from him. the only alone time we have, are some passing periods, when no-one's looking . He said to give them time, and they'll get over it. but it annoys the shit out of me. D:
  • How to spice up sex life?

    Other - Family & Relationships - 7 hours ago

    Additional Details

    What are ways to spice up sex life? Im trying to learn and experiment different stuff...suggestions anyone?
  • I'm so lost In my life right now! What should I do?

    Other - Family & Relationships - 7 hours ago

    Additional Details

    I need to be as understanding to you guys as possible so that I can get as much help as possible. Let me give you the low down of how I've stuffed up my life.I'm 19 years old..Okay It was all working well I was In a Job for 4 months then I left because I wanted to move back out west which Is where all of my mates were and It was a hassle to drive out back home every Friday to go see my friends for the weekend. It was one of the most relaxed Jobs I've ever had but as with every other Job there is It got too repetitive and I didn't have the correct frame of mind to continue the Job. Then.. I was unemployed for about 5 months sitting at home.. every day for 5 months so I decided to do a course In automotive that course cost me $5000 New Zealand dollars which I have to pay back. Then I was out of money for a while so I could not get to school and I missed out on alot of classes so I gave that up In less than a month. That's $5000 In debt so far, then my Mum gave me her car which cost her $5000 then I got a speeding ticket which was $500 then my car conked out on me I don't have the money to fix It It's pretty stuffed up now I can only sell It for about $1000 and that's $500 towards my fine. So I got a car then I blew It I'm In debt. Then I decided to go Join the gym. I only earnt $160 a week the gym cost me $30 a week. Then my bank account got shut down therefore the gym could not receive anymore of my payments and now they're racked up at $120. I also owe my friend $325 and my other friend $120. And my pay of $160 was coming from my student allowance which I have to pay back. I have no Job.. I can't seem to find one or stick to one. No car my Dad still buys me groceries and pays my rent he works his ass off at work I pretty much live off him and I feel so horrible every single day that I am hear I feel so sorry for my Dad but I cannot leave because I have no where else to go. I also have OCD which Just ruined me. I cannot hide the fact that I am so very depressed and It feels like I am at the end of the road and It Is hard to keep positive ='( Far out the human brain Is wicked Isn't It. I'm getting different opinions from all over the place based on your peoples experience. I am getting unnecessary Answers here one of them which Is very rude. No I am not a girl yes I do pray because I want to believe In something that can help me. I do have other stuff going on In my life so please don't Judge me too much. I know what I need to do I know It Isn't fun but I can only handle so much. I came here for answers not criticism. Thank you all for your advice I do agree with some of you. These are all my first mistakes which Is why I made them In the first place. I do not have much motivation to do things I do not know how to Initiate motivation In myself okay. I know I'm not the only one but all I've asked for Is help not cold hearted rudeness alright. Thank you all for your advice I will take It.
  • Please read this poem that I made about my dad?

    Family - 7 hours ago

    Additional Details

    Hi, Please read my poem - I know that it's long. However, it would be greatly appreciated i you can tell me what you think of it. (Please not that I am almost eighteen years old) It’s been so long since our family fell apart. I’ll never forget the damage that you punctured into my heart. All the grief, the misery, and the darkness that you put me through and how you never cared what I wanted to do. Now that you have a new family, suddenly now you decide to care. Words are only words that I only hear, but the truth is that you’re never there. You never saw the development of the woman that I became today. You only remember the bad choices that I made. But still, you want me back in your life just to please your new daughter and your wife. I’m sure that you never told them how you made my life burn like fire and how you tried to persuade me of throwing away my true desires. So, I can be daddy’s perfect picture. My heart will always remain pure, unlike yours who destroyed every hope that I had in you. Good luck to you trying to pretend to your baby girl that you’re a perfect dad. Honey, he’ll only tear your heart apart and at the end at of the day he will only see the bad. He’ll leave you crying in the corner full of misery and then he’ll try to convince you that he will change. Dad, it’s always the same. The games you play, the lies that slip out of your mouth and how you smile with that evil grin. You’re such a disappointment in my eyes, and I can count how many times you commuted sin. I’m better off now with out you holding my hand, because you were never there after all. You only watched every time someone punched me into the wall. Saying that I should do better, and you only let me down. I only hoped that one day that you would come around, to tell me that you are proud. We can’t rewrite history, and you can’t fixed the damage in my heart. Because you made me feel worthless, and that I can never end what I started. After everything that you put me through, I’m glad that I never put my faith in you.
  • My brother's wife got mad at me about a "Facebook" entry. Please Read?

    Friends - 7 hours ago

    Additional Details

    Okay, I am friends with brothers wife on facebook, my brother's wife name is Bridget and she is from Belize. Now, someone she knows asked for my friendship, when I notice it was one of her friends I trusted the source and accepted the friend which was a male. I am single and have already raised my daughter who is know 22years old. For some reason I thought she (Bridget) told him to be-friend me. Well, anyway the guy made a comment on my picture saying "Nice Picture" and I responded saying Thanks, & how are you related to my sis Bridget. Well, before he could even respond, she (Bridget) calls me and says: "If you want to be his friend, then be his friend, don't question our relationship, I don't go around on your friends asking: How are they related to you" Well, I was soo furious, because the question I ask him was just a conversation starter. And wasn't even like I really wanted to know how they were related, I just wanted to break the ice and start conversation with him. I didn't appreciate Bridget Tone and just hung up the phone, I really wanted to start cussing her out but I didn't. Then I went to Facebook and deleted her and this other guy as friend. What do you think, Was I wrong or was she wrong?. She keep calling me back, and she told my dad how I didn't have to hang up like a fool. Right Now, I am still mad and need to calm down because I didn't think she would go there. Its funny how you think things will turn out one way but it turns out to go LEFT
Yahoo! Parenting

Jon and Kate spanking debate: Jon and Kate's Kate Gosselin spanks daughter Leah, defends actions as appropriate parenting

Posted Fri, Jun 19, 2009
POST A COMMENT »

Jon and Kate Plus 8's Kate Gosselin found herself in the spotlight again this week, this time because of photos published by In-Touch magazine which showed her spanking her daughter Leah for blowing a whistle.

Gosselin immediately sought to defend her actions, telling Life and Style,

"Whether the paparazzi are there or not, I am a mother first. I love my children and when they misbehave, I discipline them as I deem appropriate for the situation."

In other words, Gosselin felt that spanking was a suitable method of child discipline.

While parents in generations past may have believed that spanking was an effective method of discipline, for the most part, that way of thinking went out of style along with beehive hairdos and gelatin salads.

Most child development experts and most parents today believe that the most effective discipline methods build upon the bond of love that exists between parent and child, and that discipline works best if it focuses on teaching rather than punishing a child.

Not only does such an approach feel better to the parent and the child: it tends to be a whole lot more effective over the long run. And that's what we want to be thinking of when we're making these types of parenting decisions -- the long-term benefit to the child and how it will affect the parent-child relationship.

After all, parenting is a long-distance marathon, not a sprint.

Jon and Kate fans who were asked what they thought about the acceptability of spanking children were pretty clean about their disapproval. As of 10:25 am ET Friday morning, 88 percent (324,153 votes) had indicated that they did not consider spanking children to be acceptable; while just 12 percent (43,222 votes) voiced their approval.

So, what's your take on the situation - and the spanking issue in general?

Average (15 Ratings)2.67 out of 5 stars

  • 1. Posted by catedwards@ymail.com on Fri, Jun 19, 2009

    I don't remember giving a quick slap to hand or bottom to my kids, but I may have when they were toddlers. I never gave what I consider spankings (multiple swats to bottom with hand or belt) to my two boys but I was strict. They had a chore sheet, complete with penalties and they paid them. Penalties included loss of allowance as well as loss of privileges such as computer time, video game time, grounding, and the loss of electricity (no computer, no games, no tv, no phone - this was reserved for lying to us). Other parents thought we were overboard, making sure we had a telephone number where our kids were or else they couldn't go, etc. etc. Now that the boys are grown, they are respectful, capable, and responsible. Their friends' parents love them, their employers value them, and while their grades weren't anything to write home about (mainly in the C range with an occasional A/B and very rarely below C), the boys are doing well on their own so far. I still see physical discipline as having a place, though, particularly with very young children whose language and understanding are immature. A swat on the hand or bottom can instantly communicate without a half hour of discussion or naughty-stool wrangling. My own parents used hand slaps when we were young and other forms of punishment when we were older, and I think they had a good blend.

    Report Abuse
  • 2. Posted by Cheryl on Wed, Jun 24, 2009

    Hi friends, Well spanking may have gone out with the '80's, but so did the respect for authority figures. That's why kids these days are soooo out of control. They have no respect for adults, be it strangers or their own parents. I have always believed in spanking (when deserved). I also didn't care where it took place. You don't wait to discipline your children because you're in public. Then I think there is a problem. You should discipline your children the same way you do at home. Unless you're truly beating them and don't want to be seen. My children are basically grown up now, two boys, 19 and 23 and a daughter 15. I have had some many compliments about my kids manners and the honest respect they show for me and their father and any other elders they might have contact with. Letting your kids just run wild with no consequences is just asking for trouble. I would rather give my children a swat on the bottom when they're young and still learning than to be fighting with them in the middle or a mall or elsewhere. It just makes me laugh when I hear parents say, what has gone wrong with kids of today. Well if they would take those child psychology books and use them on their kids butts, then they would really be doing something. Don't beat your kids, but please discipline them. You're not doing them any favors later in life if you don 't. Sincerely, Cheryl

    Report Abuse
  • 3. Posted by Ursi on Wed, Jun 24, 2009

    Look, I went over my dad's knee just once!!! It was enough to teach me. Back then it was "discipline" now its "child abuse". Kids have way too many rights these days and parents have none. There is way to much stress on parents being given by all the so called "experts" who don't have children themselves. I say a smack on the ass never hurt anyone!

    Report Abuse
  • 4. Posted by . on Thu, Jun 25, 2009

    Ridiculous! Since when is it wrong to discipline your child??! If my daughter misbehaves, I smack her bum, it soon sorts her out. I don't agree with parents who beat their kids, but a smacked bum is not wrong at all.

    Report Abuse
  • 5. Posted by Roguetheelf24 on Sun, Jun 28, 2009

    I think there is a big difference between beating a child and disciplining and punishing them. I think its very wrong and abusive to use a belt on child, but theres nothing wrong with a open hand, if no other way of communication is working and if the kid is really and deliberately asking for it.

    Report Abuse
  • 6. Posted by sam on Fri, Jul 17, 2009

    Too many Rights these days?Not so,just the same as you and I. Why do so many adults believe in their right to tell a child what to do? A child is a full person like every adult.No one has a right to hit a child! Imagine being a child simply blowing a whistle and then being hit for it in the name of discipline? You would never defend an adult doing that to another adult...

    Report Abuse
  • 7. Posted by ruruman4 on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    sam....everyone here who read your post knows instantly that you are a child just from reading your response. you will one day grow up and understand that good discipline when a child is young have long lasting affects on everyone. children and even young adults have no repsect for the elder or authorities (or each other) and the answer is simply because they were not displined properly at a young age and now they get away with murder. they think if they shoot someone else that they will propably be told that they cannot play on their computer now cause they were "bad"......its a joke. you dont have to kill your child when you discipline them.....their are proper ways of doing it and in doing so at a young age you can bend/shape the tree while its still young. in my first language we have a saying " a pak op sy tyd is soos brood en konfyt" wich means..."a good hiding at the right time is like bread and jam"

    Report Abuse
  • 8. Posted by AJ C on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    RIGHTEOUS FREAKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT TODAY'S SOCIETY LOOK AT THE LACK OF RESPECT THESE KIDS HAVE TODAY THEY ALL WANT SOMETHING FOR NOTHING EVERYTHING SHOULD BE FREE REINSTATEMENT OF A TAP ON THE HAND, AND ON THE BUTT IF NEEDED WOULD WELCOMED OPEN YER EYES PEOPLE

    Report Abuse
  • 9. Posted by Shellie on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    Children today show a general lack of respect for those around them. The so called experts that ask us tor reason with our children forget that these are our future leaders. It is not hard to imagine the world going to hell as it has in some of the futuristic movies we watch when I see how today's children behave. Is spanking the right answer - I think that there is a fine line between a spanking and a beating but a swat on the bum of a toddler wearing a diaper is a lot more effective than trying to reason with a child that has a limited vocabulary. The biggest problem I see today is that parents want to be their kids friends and are afraid to be consistent. In whatever form of discipline you choose, consistency is key - if you say "don't do that or else you will lose a privilege" then make sure the child loses the privilege otherwise they walk all over you. Most parents are inconsistent with their follow through which tells the child they can walk all over authority figures. In households where both parents are working, it is easier to give in then it is to follow through. All parents should suck it up for the first few years of their child's life and be consistent. Once the child knows you mean what you say and that you follow through with the punishment, then it will get easier to discipline them. Don't get me wrong, all kids (well behaved or not) are going to try their parents on to see if they can get away with something but as a parent we need to stand strong and be consistent and don't bargain with or bribe the child. Nothing drives me more crazy than to be out in public and hear a parent say to a child that is misbehaving "if you stop crying, I'll buy you an ice cream" or some other such nonsense. The response should be - if you don't stop then you lose "x" privilege for the next number of days. Come on - who's the adult and who's in charge of the household? Today it appears to be the child more often than not!

    Report Abuse
  • 10. Posted by Shellie on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    Children today show a general lack of respect for those around them. The so called experts that ask us tor reason with our children forget that these are our future leaders. It is not hard to imagine the world going to hell as it has in some of the futuristic movies we watch when I see how today's children behave. Is spanking the right answer - I think that there is a fine line between a spanking and a beating but a swat on the bum of a toddler wearing a diaper is a lot more effective than trying to reason with a child that has a limited vocabulary. The biggest problem I see today is that parents want to be their kids friends and are afraid to be consistent. In whatever form of discipline you choose, consistency is key - if you say "don't do that or else you will lose a privilege" then make sure the child loses the privilege otherwise they walk all over you. Most parents are inconsistent with their follow through which tells the child they can walk all over authority figures. In households where both parents are working, it is easier to give in then it is to follow through. All parents should suck it up for the first few years of their child's life and be consistent. Once the child knows you mean what you say and that you follow through with the punishment, then it will get easier to discipline them. Don't get me wrong, all kids (well behaved or not) are going to try their parents on to see if they can get away with something but as a parent we need to stand strong and be consistent and don't bargain with or bribe the child. Nothing drives me more crazy than to be out in public and hear a parent say to a child that is misbehaving "if you stop crying, I'll buy you an ice cream" or some other such nonsense. The response should be - if you don't stop then you lose "x" privilege for the next number of days. Come on - who's the adult and who's in charge of the household? Today it appears to be the child more often than not!

    Report Abuse
  • 11. Posted by David on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    I saw this story on Yahoo! Canada Lifestyle and thought that you might be interested. The Bible says ""spare the rod and spoil the child"", in my generation that was taken to mean a form of spanking. I will not say that my IQ is any less than someone that has not been spanked. When I was growing up I knew clearly what my parents stood for according to the Bible and were excellent examples of their belief.You see my standards and my parents standards went beyond us and went straight through to the Bible so ultimately our accountability was realized as being to God first before each other. Now one might argue that "the rod"could mean a form of discipline other than spaking and thier is room for that argument. So I think the issue goes beyond the discipline of the child and goes directly to the accountability of the parent. If the standard being set by the parent is based on a quetionable principle ( in my mind not Bibilically based), ultimately who are the parents responsible to in being role models. If we as children were truly created by God instinctively (until messed with) we would have inbuilt in our system (knowingly or unknowingly) things that reflect the character of God. If God then gives us the responsibility to raise our children and the ideals that we project are different that what has been implanted, It would create a conflict in the mind of a child which ultimately would show in the child being overly confrontational.As they truly are questioning the motive of the parent/adult giving out the punishment, which I do not think has anything to do with spanking or the lack thereof

    Report Abuse
  • 12. Posted by annette l on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    I see nothing wrong with a swat on the butt. I had it a few times when I was little and also had to stand in the corner,and I turned out to be a great adult. I fail to see what a swat on the butt and the IQ have to do with each other , your brains are not in your butt.

    Report Abuse
  • 13. Posted by David on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    I saw this story on Yahoo! Canada Lifestyle and thought that you might be interested. The Bible says ""spare the rod and spoil the child"", in my generation that was taken to mean a form of spanking. I will not say that my IQ is any less than someone that has not been spanked. When I was growing up I knew clearly what my parents stood for according to the Bible and were excellent examples of their belief.You see my standards and my parents standards went beyond us and went straight through to the Bible so ultimately our accountability was realized as being to God first before each other. Now one might argue that "the rod"could mean a form of discipline other than spaking and thier is room for that argument. So I think the issue goes beyond the discipline of the child and goes directly to the accountability of the parent. If the standard being set by the parent is based on a quetionable principle ( in my mind not Bibilically based), ultimately who are the parents responsible to in being role models. If we as children were truly created by God instinctively (until messed with) we would have inbuilt in our system (knowingly or unknowingly) things that reflect the character of God. If God then gives us the responsibility to raise our children and the ideals that we project are different that what has been implanted, It would create a conflict in the mind of a child which ultimately would show in the child being overly confrontational.As they truly are questioning the motive of the parent/adult giving out the punishment, which I do not think has anything to do with spanking or the lack thereof

    Report Abuse
  • 14. Posted by David on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    I saw this story on Yahoo! Canada Lifestyle and thought that you might be interested. The Bible says ""spare the rod and spoil the child"", in my generation that was taken to mean a form of spanking. I will not say that my IQ is any less than someone that has not been spanked. When I was growing up I knew clearly what my parents stood for according to the Bible and were excellent examples of their belief.You see my standards and my parents standards went beyond us and went straight through to the Bible so ultimately our accountability was realized as being to God first before each other. Now one might argue that "the rod"could mean a form of discipline other than spaking and thier is room for that argument. So I think the issue goes beyond the discipline of the child and goes directly to the accountability of the parent. If the standard being set by the parent is based on a quetionable principle ( in my mind not Bibilically based), ultimately who are the parents responsible to in being role models. If we as children were truly created by God instinctively (until messed with) we would have inbuilt in our system (knowingly or unknowingly) things that reflect the character of God. If God then gives us the responsibility to raise our children and the ideals that we project are different that what has been implanted, It would create a conflict in the mind of a child which ultimately would show in the child being overly confrontational.As they truly are questioning the motive of the parent/adult giving out the punishment, which I do not think has anything to do with spanking or the lack thereof

    Report Abuse
  • 15. Posted by David on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    I saw this story on Yahoo! Canada Lifestyle and thought that you might be interested. The Bible says ""spare the rod and spoil the child"", in my generation that was taken to mean a form of spanking. I will not say that my IQ is any less than someone that has not been spanked. When I was growing up I knew clearly what my parents stood for according to the Bible and were excellent examples of their belief.You see my standards and my parents standards went beyond us and went straight through to the Bible so ultimately our accountability was realized as being to God first before each other. Now one might argue that "the rod"could mean a form of discipline other than spaking and thier is room for that argument. So I think the issue goes beyond the discipline of the child and goes directly to the accountability of the parent. If the standard being set by the parent is based on a quetionable principle ( in my mind not Bibilically based), ultimately who are the parents responsible to in being role models. If we as children were truly created by God instinctively (until messed with) we would have inbuilt in our system (knowingly or unknowingly) things that reflect the character of God. If God then gives us the responsibility to raise our children and the ideals that we project are different that what has been implanted, It would create a conflict in the mind of a child which ultimately would show in the child being overly confrontational.As they truly are questioning the motive of the parent/adult giving out the punishment, which I do not think has anything to do with spanking or the lack thereof

    Report Abuse
  • 16. Posted by allisondoobbie on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    It seems funny to me that all of the posts on here are in favour of spanking yet the "experts" say that spanking went out with the beehive. I think the "experts" should focus their energy on real issues, such as actual child abuse or healthy eating or something like that. We spank when we have to, we don't like it, neither do the kids....and that's the point!

    Report Abuse
  • 17. Posted by lindylou on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    My husband and I (both 66) were spanked and or hit a lot when we were young and it a terrible affect on our self esteem as adults and our relationships, especially marriage (we are both divorced). Fortunately for me I have been able to confront my mother with these issues and resolved some matters, but my husband's mother died long ago and he never to the opportunity to deal with her. Please do not hit your children. Children take a lot of work and time and it can be exhausting a lot of the time, but like anything you try it is worth striving for the best. PLEASE DO NOT HIT YOUR CHILDREN.

    Report Abuse
  • 18. Posted by crimsondragoneye2109 on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    Ok, I think that this whole, 'Lowering IQ' is a load of croc. People need to realize when the line is crossed between discipline and abuse. I live outside of a town where there wasn't one kid who was punished by their actions. What happens, they grow up becoming more rebellious, they don't take their parents seriously as they should, and to top it all off, they become delinquents because they were never taught the difference between right and wrong. Parents gotta stop overlooking the troubles being caused and take action on the spot. I was spanked as a kid because I'll admit as a kid I was kind of a hellraiser. If I didn't get punished by my parents for my actions, I wouldn't have realized how bad my actions really were. I'm not saying go find your kid now and spank him/her for what they did in the past, but if they do something really bad, parents need to sit them down and tell them that because of that, they are getting spanked. A good way to help them realize what they did is asking them if they know 'why they are being spanked' so they can see what they did was wrong. If a kid is breaking stuff on purpose, shaving the cat, or slapping his mother, it's time to put down the sugar coated pleas and ring out the rod. Long story short, LOWER IQ MY @$$. What would you rather have, kids who know that rules were not meant to be broken and punishment comes after every wrong, or spoiled little snots who thinks they can get away with anything.

    Report Abuse
  • 19. Posted by JANET on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    i am 20 years old, and there are many things i do not do, not because it is wrong, or i do not want to. it is because growing up, i got some taps on my hide that taught me that all that glitters is not gold. i am an honor student at university, and graduated high school with top marks. There goes the IQ theory. my understnading of the Kate situation is that she warned the child to cease and desist blowing the whistle and to rejoin her friends in other play and the child did not listen. in my day (this makes me feel so old) that was known as the warning system. my parents only ever had to speak to me once because if they spoke to me again, i wouldnt like it. that child got lucky, the way i see it, becuase she got more than one warning. in the caribbean, there is a saying, "ears dont hear backside must feel." how dare anyone try and tell anyone else how to raise their kids. when or if i have children, i sure as heck will be spanking them if the need arises. different strokes people...time outs may work for some but not others. the saying, "it takes a village" in my day meant that if the neighbour saw you doing something wrong and your parents werent around, they would give you a spank, then tell your parents what you did so that they could give you a spank. this entire debate is ludicrous.

    Report Abuse
  • 20. Posted by Dawn on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    i believe that a swift swat on the butt or hand is really a good thing as long as you dont over do it. i have a two year old and sometimes it just has to be that way we do the talking thing we do the time out tihing and she still doesnt get it so the next step is the spanking thing one small tap on the butt and she gets it i dont feel she is tramatized when it is done it just licks in that that is something bad dont do it and i mean this is for really bad things like going outside alone or stuff like that not small things those are things she will learn in time

    Report Abuse
  • 21. Posted by d4jc on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    Wow ~ after reading the first page of comments, I am pleasantly and refreshingly surprised to read that most contributors are actually in favour of corporal punishment. I am relieved that there are some parents out there who've not been rendered impotent by the barrage of "expert information", which has left so many with no confidence in their parenting abilities. Sadly, we live in a time of great confusion within our families. Men are expected to be all things or nothing. Women are told that they can do it all, but are left with a sense that they do nothing "well'. And children have become the small, but mighty tyrants of the home, with no one left with the energy or will to raise them otherwise. None of us who support a parent's right to discipline are talking about beating a child. There's a huge difference between corporal punishment and child abuse ~ although those who would like to ban parent's rights, make great efforts to blur the line. My husband and I are parents of 11 children. I absolutely love children and empathize with them more and more, the older and more experienced I become. However, there are times and situations where nothing speaks more loudly, more clearly, or confirms your authority more decidedly than the well-deserved spank on the bottom.

    Report Abuse
  • 22. Posted by JJ on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    My father was spanked as a child and he was a member of MENSA. He in turn spanked my sister and I when we misbehaved and though I'm not a member of MENSA I do have 2 university degrees. I am very much in favor spanking as long as the parent explains why the punishment is deserved. If a parent just whacks you without saying a word or in simple frustration, then it only confuses the child. When I had done something very bad as a child my father would sit down and explain how it was wrong and then whack my palm with a leather belt 3 times. It sounds harsh, but it was the most controlled discipline method I have ever witnessed. I learned my lesson and respected my elders. My father was also the first person I went to in my time of need. He always had a ready hug and sound advice. Nothing is ever black and white. Children are not whole persons yet. They need to truly understand that their actions have serious consequences. A firm talking to will not accomplish this. Just as some people need to recopy chapter notes to be able to absorb information, children need more than one method to assimilate life lessons. I am rather disgusted with the kids of today and I firmly hold the parents responsible. If you do not have the stomach to discipline your children properly than you should be sterilized. How dare you inflict your poorly raised genetics on the helpless public.

    Report Abuse
  • 23. Posted by Hipmamajo on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    What does spanking a child when you are angry teach that child? That it is OK to hit someone when you are angry with them!! And that lesson is one that they take with them, when they go to school and they get angry with someone, it must be OK to hit them, since that is how Mom and Dad handle it! I personally believe (and it is ONLY my personal belief) that spanking children is a discipline tool of lazy parents who cannot be bothered to think up punishments that do not rely on physical pain, yet get the message across to the child. And believe me, those punishments exist. Yes, they may take more work, they may require some effort on the part of the parent, they may require actually interacting with the child rather than just doing the first thing that pops into the mind when the parent feels themself losing control (which is hit) To say that not hitting a child gives them no respect for authority is ridiculous! Hitting them may give them a FEAR of authority, but respect and fear are two very different things. And NO other person in a position of authority is allowed to hit our children, not a teacher, not a principal, not a police officer.. only a parent. What does that tell you? I have seen children standing next to a parent and that parent raises their hand in the action of speaking and the child flinches. Those are the children who are used to their parent raising that hand to them. It disgusts me. I have spent a lot of time researching discipline techniques, I have watched and learned from other parents who have well behaved children and have asked them what they do, and I have taken a page from my own Mother who never spanked us and raised three law-abiding, respectful children. But parents have to take the time to learn, and have the capacity to admit that they are not perfect and that we can learn from other parents. Violence against others is not acceptable, why is it acceptable towards children????

    Report Abuse
  • 24. Posted by Hipmamajo on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    What does spanking a child when you are angry teach that child? That it is OK to hit someone when you are angry with them!! And that lesson is one that they take with them, when they go to school and they get angry with someone, it must be OK to hit them, since that is how Mom and Dad handle it! I personally believe (and it is ONLY my personal belief) that spanking children is a discipline tool of lazy parents who cannot be bothered to think up punishments that do not rely on physical pain, yet get the message across to the child. And believe me, those punishments exist. Yes, they may take more work, they may require some effort on the part of the parent, they may require actually interacting with the child rather than just doing the first thing that pops into the mind when the parent feels themself losing control (which is hit) To say that not hitting a child gives them no respect for authority is ridiculous! Hitting them may give them a FEAR of authority, but respect and fear are two very different things. And NO other person in a position of authority is allowed to hit our children, not a teacher, not a principal, not a police officer.. only a parent. What does that tell you? I have seen children standing next to a parent and that parent raises their hand in the action of speaking and the child flinches. Those are the children who are used to their parent raising that hand to them. It disgusts me. I have spent a lot of time researching discipline techniques, I have watched and learned from other parents who have well behaved children and have asked them what they do, and I have taken a page from my own Mother who never spanked us and raised three law-abiding, respectful children. But parents have to take the time to learn, and have the capacity to admit that they are not perfect and that we can learn from other parents. Violence against others is not acceptable, why is it acceptable towards children????

    Report Abuse
  • 25. Posted by fit_andy001 on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    Back when abolishing corporal punishment was just talk, a woman said, "if we can avoid the abuse of even one child, than abolishing corporal punishment is worth it!" I wish I could talk to her today. She'll be happy to know that we managed to stop that one child from being abused by over spanking. I'm just not sure how she'll feel knowing that in doing so, we created 20 juvinile delinquents, in the process, who have no fear or respect for something as simple as life it self. In the 20 plus years we have abolished corporal punishment, has anyone done a study to show the good or the bad about abolishing corporal punsihment? I would like to know how much more disruptive and delinquent kids have to get before we realize that sparing the rod is really spoiling the child. Where are those people who endorsed the Anit-Corporal Punsihment thing" now? Probably hiding from their own out of conrol kids! How many more youths have to end up in Juvie before we smarten their little asses into realizeing that if you do bad, there are consequences. Right now there are kids that go into schools with guns and kill their fellow students simply because they do not have the respect for even life. Spanking instills respect and although it seems cruel, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Today you tell a youth or kid what to do they walk up to you and swear in your face. Based on the spankin I recieved as a kid, I would never in a million years have disrespected an adult like that. It all boils down to respect! You realize that if we really love your kids, spanking them to learn respect will kep them out of trouble. I know it hurts to do so but if you love your child you want them to fly straight, right? Sometimes they have to learn the hard way that being bad has it's consequences. Just once I'd like to see a study that has the truth about what Abolishing Corporal Punsihment has done to society!

    Report Abuse
  • 26. Posted by sallys_29 on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    Who are They???? Spanking never hurt a child or killed a child??? let's get real! I have seen the kids in the schools! No respect!!! I work there! And respect starts at home. More children learn respect when home schooled. I know a good friend of mine that slapped her son across the face when he told her to f---k off. She did it real hard! He told her that he would call the cops and she told him to go ahead. He did and the cops (two) showed up, asked her if she was that person and if she slapped her son across the face and she said yes. The cops shook her hand and congratulated her!!!! They said it about time more people did that! Take that and run with it!!! The authorities are sick and tired of the parents not doing their job!!!! The kid was about twentyone years old, so you see it doesn't matter how old the child is! He didn't come home for about 3 days; you see he was more scared of his mom than the cops! A good fear! A respect fear! Now he respects his mom, and rightfully so! The end. Amen!

    Report Abuse
  • 27. Posted by sallys_29 on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    Do people actually get the point across and are these read by people who are going to do something?????

    Report Abuse
  • 28. Posted by jsarookanian@ymail.com on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    I believe that this form of discipline is totally fine when done right! Its about immediate obedience that they child should have to the parent. Think about it this way when something happens to you as an adult does the situation sit down and talk to you about what is going on or does it just "discipline" you...as adults most of the time when we do something that is deemed "wrong" there are for the most part immediate consequences so why should it be any different for our children?! I think that after you discipline your child its important that you tell them what they did get them to acknowledge that they understand and give them a big hug to show them you are doing this cause you love them. I think that today we spend too much time thinking about what others will think instead of what is right for our children!

    Report Abuse
  • 29. Posted by ...UKJ on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    I am an immigant. I had the same experience as you have. Kids of canada are mostly rude and out of control. Nobody stops them from being rude and vandalizing. If you do, the police will arrest you. In my country, usually kids are taught orietal ethics and to respect adults and honor. But here, such a savage. Somethimes, homeless adults were beaten to death by kids. Total problem is from education. Canadian education is no good. Somethimes kids call the police for spanking. Haha,why do u people raise these kids? Just kick them ass and let them go away!!!!!!!!

    Report Abuse
  • 30. Posted by k c on Sun, Sep 27, 2009

    Respect is earned not beaten into a child, Spanking is the lazy way out of parenting. If you want you children to respect authority then teach them why they should respect authority, not teach the to fear it. It amazes me that all the replies on hear that seem to be angry and harsh are from people who support spanking. To blame childrens general attitude these days on not spanking is rediculous and if it was that easy to solve all our problems then I would strongly support it but its not. It seems that there is a lot more involves then that, possibly media, the way our government behaves, video games, over crowding at schools, lack of respect for children, hatred racism and wars going on all over. If spanking could solve all this then bring it on, lets spank adults also! Sorry but I don't think its that simple. Yet no discipline is not the answer also. Time to reevaluate everything our children are exposed to and realize it all affects them. And to those spanking supporters that think only a child can support respect for children, I am 36 and a parent of 1.

    Report Abuse

LEAVE YOUR COMMENT
character(s) remaining

You must sign in to leave a comment

TODAY ON YAHOO!

Sports

St. Louis quarterback Marc Bulger, pictured, will miss three to six weeks with a broken left leg, suffered in a grueling NFL loss to Arizona.  Photo:Dilip Vishwanat/AFP


Broken leg among injuries to Rams' Bulger
AFP - ST. LOUIS, Missouri (AFP) - St. Louis quarterback Marc Bulger will miss three to six weeks...

Business

This artist impression from the Department of Transport shows a 'super express' train for the Great Western and East Coast main lines. Japanese high-tech giant Hitachi Ltd. plans to build railway cars in Britain in a multi-billion-dollar deal that would also create hundreds of new jobs, a company spokesman said Tuesday.  Photo:Ho/AFP


Japan's Hitachi to build rail car plant in Britain
AFP - TOKYO (AFP) - Japanese high-tech giant Hitachi Ltd. plans to build railway cars in Britain...

Top stories

Iraq's Vice President Tareq al-Hashemi holds a news conference while announcing his new list of political candidates to participate in the next parliamentary election, in Baghdad, in this September 12, 2009 file photo. REUTERS/Mohammed Ameen


Iraq parliament passes new vote law
Reuters - BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Iraq's parliament on Monday approved an amended law needed to hold...