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  • Me and my boyfriend are ready to have sex?

    Singles & Dating - 5 hours ago

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    Ok me and my boyfriend have been going out a while now and we have spoken to each other about sex. Im 15 and he's 17 and we are both virgins. I AM going to wait until i am 16 in February, and i have a very open close relationship with my mum (thank god) so i have talked to her about it about it and she is going to take me to the doctors to get tested and to go on the pill in February. Well i am posting this question because i want to now will it hurt? He is fairly big (if you know what i mean) lol, about 7 inches erected, he has fingered me and i bled the first few times but i don't anymore when he fingers me now, so does this mean i wont bleed when i have sex? And also is it better for him to go on top for the first time or me???? By the way i would rather not have anyone say im to young because i AM READY and we love each other and want to take our relationship further. x Thank you i just needed to know about the pain is all so im prepared if there is any. lol xx thanks
  • Dose she like me??????

    Singles & Dating - 5 hours ago

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    so the amrocan girl i like blond hair brown eyes allways talkes to me at the lokers and lafhs. today she told me that i pray to much and that the man that im named after was a extrem patrot to germany(he went down with the bismark. i pray to jesus that she likes me (she dosant know). but at hoomrome and at S.S.R. i look at her and she looks at me but for some rison i cant look into her eyes and i have to look away.at the end of the day she told me bye. dose she like me?how can i make her like me?any tips?how do i hint i like her with out telling her?
  • When people say:"Oh, you make me so mad!"...who do you think cares?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

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    When you allow yourself to get angry or sad, frustrated or go spastic, what makes you think other people give a damn? You do it for no reason that's obvious to others...we just wonder why you think it's supposed to matter to us!
  • Facebook photos, do you think I am ugly, average or pretty?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

  • Have you ever felt like you dont matter?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

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  • YIKES!!! Should I continue to date him or not?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

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    He shouts and gets angry for the slightest thing. He is very intolerant. He wants me to send him loving messages all the time, I do but not too many as we have only been dating 6 weeks. I want to take it slowly as I have been hurt before. I bought him presents (perfume, an easter egg, shirts). Sometimes he cancels dates but wants me to be available all the time when it suits him. Once did not show up at all and never called me. He went off for the weekend with his friends witout telling me and had his phone switched off. I was waiting at home for his call. He never apologised but ended up shouting at me that I worried his brother as I phoned his brother asking where he was and his brother didn't know. Yet, he wants me to be available for him when it suits him and gets angry when I am not. He gets angry easily for little things and has a temper. So I am not really sure he is a great guy .... He has no education and works in a factory and ever second week works on the night shift. I am studying for my Masters. His last girlfriends were vulgar and uneducated, one worked as a stripper. He used to work as a stripper. He is jealous and controlling and told him that I don't need to see my friends much any more. The first night we slept together he took me to a hotel. I dont know why he didnt take me back to his place. Ive been there since. I told him that I had been hurt in the past and that I wanted to take it slowly. He shouted and got angry and said "Everyone has been hurt in the past. Just get over it" He is not understanding but expects me to be understanding and caring towards him. Another time he got really angry because I asked to change bars and go to the bar next door as there were no seats at the bar we were at. Once when we slept together I went to the bathroom to get condoms. Three days later he brought it up in an angry voice that I destroyed the romantic moment by going to the bathroom to get condoms. Another time we arranged a blind date between my friend and his best friend and he got all angry and said "why would he phone her again as she won't sleep wth him, she is just looking for friendship" and was even shouting. SHOULD I CONTINUE TO DATE HIM? WOULD MANY WOMEN TOLERATE THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOUR? He also told me that I talk too much about my friends and their lives and that I should only talk about me and him and our future together. Also, some of his friends occassionally go with prostitutes even though they are married.
  • Should I do this or not? Or how to make him feel "gutted"?

    Singles & Dating - 7 hours ago

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    this guy hurt me in some way. he was always saying how much he "likes" me, he was telling me things like "your the one ... we've got so much in common... we need to go out ..." etc. at the time, when he was asking me out, I wasn't sure it was a good idea (I didn't know him that much, he was showing his interest, which turned out to be lie) so I said "maybe not now, maybe later". after this he stopped talking to me, I was so mad at him - he was ignoring me all week, and then - thanks to facebook - I found out that all this time he was adding my girlfriends to his friends list! and more - once my bro caught him during his date with one of my friends! luckily this girl didn't know that it was my bro and that this lier and hypocrite was asking me out as well. I was so mad at him. and the ugliest part of this story is that when he sees me in uni, he starts flirting! can you believe it? oh gosh I want to do something to make him feel miserable, angry and furious! I had this little plan, but I'm not sure it's good enough - I'll delete him from my friends list and then I'll send him msg like "sorry, my boyfriend didn't want you in my friends list" hah! how good/bad is that? or maybe you can suggest something else? he hurts girls' hearts, now it's time to make him feel that way! [evil laugh]. or maybe it's better just to ignore him? I'm confused.
  • Why am I with this fat, hairy, balding, lazy loser who wont hold a job?

    Singles & Dating - 7 hours ago

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    he also is a rude smoker, messy and basically not a considerate person when it comes to sharing a house. In the beginning it was completely different, this was 3 years ago, now I get all this plus hardly any sex or much needed attention, and that was the best part in the beginning. So what does that say about me, honestly...no jokes please, im already up all night in tears!
  • my parernts-in-law are always saying how it's cruel to love their daughter without loving them -is this true?

    Friends - 7 hours ago

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  • Why is pot such a crutch? Do you think its addictive?

    Singles & Dating - 8 hours ago

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    My BF is such a nicer guy when he smokes pot. In fact he can be quite the jerk when he doesnt. everytime he gets some he is outside taking a hit every 15 minutes. its incredible. plus instead of getting tired from it, he stays up all night smoking it. He tried a few times to quit, but goes right back to it because he has no patience, flys off the handle, and stays depressed and is even mean alot to me. I dont know if I want him to quit or not, but im not sure i can handle it either way.
Yahoo! Parenting

All school and no play? The call for a recess revival

Posted Thu, May 10, 2007
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The 2,200 students who march off to school this September at Thomas Deacon City Academy in London, England, will be greeted by all the finest amenities a school can offer. Everything except for a playground and recess, that is.

Rather than providing students with access to what one school official described to a British newspaper as the "uncontrollable space" of a playground, students will take formal exercise breaks in rotating shifts.

The arguments in favour of creating a school environment reminiscent of Pink Floyd's 1982 movie The Wall  is that the structure will help to minimize bullying and unruly behavior because students won't have the opportunity to be bored.

It's an argument that seems to make sense — on the surface, at least — but for kids to learn the art and science of interacting with other kids, they need to have the opportunities for good, old-fashioned play — the kind where they're allowed to choose who they get to play with and to make up the rules of the game. And as the authors of the Canadian Intramural Recreation Association of Ontario's Recess Revival guide wisely noted, given how busy life can be for families these days, recess may be the only opportunity some kids have to play with other kids.

So what's behind the movement to banish recess in the UK and other countries, including the United States and, to a lesser extent, some parts of Canada? Safety and liability concerns and fears that recess will disrupt academic work.

The anti-recess crusaders don't seem to be the least bit concerned that their efforts may be counterproductive. A 1998 study of students in the fourth grade found that those students were less fidgety and more on task on days when they had recess. And, what's more, recess delivers considerable dividends on the physical activity front: kids are more active during recess than they are during gym class, engaging in vigorous physical activity 21 per cent at recess as opposed to 15 per cent of the time during gym class.

That's a good news message we can't afford to ignore at a time when Canadian kids are more overweight and less physically active than ever before. It's no wonder that so many parents, kids and child development experts are calling for a recess revival. It's fun and it's good for kids, too.

So what do you say? Post your comments below.

  • Do they still have recess at your child's school?
  • What's good about recess? What could stand some improving?
  • What was the best part of recess when you were a kid? Do kids today still get to enjoy some of that?

 

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11 Comments

  • 1. Posted by Mia T on Sat, May 26, 2007

    What are we doing that's different? In Ontario, we have Daily Physical Activity in our schools, it's a waste of time and really isn't helping our kids-actually it's also messing with the "all important curriculum"....but rather than get sidetracked allow me to say that I agree with this post. Recess is vital! In this day of students as young as 6 being forced to sit for long periods of time concentrating on difficult concepts every day, what better outlet can there be than recess? Recess is an unstructured play time where students get to play with others besides their classmates, students older or younger than them. They don't have to play what we-the teacher demand. A student who isn't as coordinated can play tag instead of basket ball; one who is artistic can colour with chalk and just be outside enjoying the sunshine!!! Why must every moment for these poor kids be structured? How can a student learn independent social skills or conflict management? I’m not talking about bullying-that should always be monitored, but there are other really important things that students learn during recess. I guess my biggest question is this: why does recess have to be justified? Is every person not entitled to a break? Are our children not allowed to have fun?

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  • 2. Posted by anndouglas on Mon, May 28, 2007

    Thanks for your passionate post, Mia T. I think it's the "spirit" of recess that has been lost over the years. Remember, when we were kids, how much joy there was in recess? We could hardly wait for the bell to ring so that we could get outside and play. Often it was really simple play, like hiding in "forts." (My school playground in suburban Mississauga included a small wooded area. That was the best part -- inventing your own imaginary world in between math and geography.)

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  • 3. Posted by NewfBaby on Mon, May 28, 2007

    If I were 14 again, I would ask to go to that school. I hated recess, lunchtime, field trips and "free" time. It was terrifying - I was the class nerd and the object of relentless bullying. The teachers were complicit. Recess was awful every day - and I mean literally every day. At best, recess was a time when I got some relief when there were "ignore her" dictates in effect - meaning I was more alone than ever. It's more than 15 years later and clearly I'm still affected by this. I have my own kids now. I would be quite happy if they don't have recess if it means they don't have to go through even a fraction of my hell. (I'll take their eating and physical activity into my own hands.) Even the best teachers and most dedicated schools cannot police every kid during free time - and bullying often happens in the blink of an eye. A 15-minute recess can be torture.

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  • 4. Posted by BeachMama on Wed, May 30, 2007

    Ann, how fitting. At the junior kindergarten orientation one of the biggest concerns I had was that there would be no recess. I had to ask because the kids are at school for such a short time and I had read an article about the UK cancelling recess. Although your article sites different reasons, the one I previously read stated that real estate was at such a premium that the school's were selling off the playgrounds of the schools. Who knows the real reason, but I do hope to see recess continue here in Canada, my son needs free outside play every day.

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  • 5. Posted by anndouglas on Mon, Jun 04, 2007

    NewfBaby - You raise a really good point about the need for kids to be safe at recess. Kids can't just be abandoned and left to their own devices. And preventing bullying goes far beyond recess supervision. The entire culture of a school has to change throughout the school day and strategies like restorative justice need to be used. Canadian researchers Wendy Craig and Debra Pepler have done some groundbreaking work in this area: http://www.voicesforchildren.ca/report-Feb2007-1.htm I am very sorry you were bullied so relentlessly as a child. I was bullied (although to a lesser degree) and it was a pretty horrible experience. It took me until well into adulthood to lay the past to rest and to start seeing myself as a strong, powerful person. It was so freeing to finally say to myself, "No one will ever treat me that way again." Hugs and best wishes to you.

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  • 6. Posted by anndouglas on Mon, Jun 04, 2007

    Beachmama - Thanks for letting me know about the real estate issue. That's the first I've heard about playgrounds being sold off because of the value of the land. That's really disturbing, but I could see it happening widely if school boards have to find ways to balance their budgets. What an awful price our kids will pay in the long run, however.

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  • 7. Posted by fishbowl_fish on Mon, Jun 04, 2007

    I wanted to comment on BeachMama's comment about JK recess. I had the same concerns when my kids were going into JK, but the reality is that there isn't any time for recess in a half-day kindergarten. BUT, (at least in our school) they have gym everyday. In good weather this means the kids are sometimes let out of school a few minutes early, or the teachers let them play outdoors a few minutes longer before school. Regardless, I'm satisfied with the amount of physical activity they get. On some days I get bring Sarah to school ten or fifteen minutes early too. My recess concerns: 1) my school is too P.C about how kids use the playground equipment.... they can't climb up the slide etc. 2) a serious lack of grass. Our school is probably 100 years old, and a lot has been built up around it. The place the kids play is almost entirely paved. 3) I think the schools (as well as parents!) need to teach kids how to play again. It sounds crazy, but there are boys who are in a corner playing with their game boys, and others just tearing around. I do have an issue with handheld video games being used at recess, not so much with unstructured running around, but whatever happened to skipping ropes and hopscotch? I'm half-considering asking our school if I can host a skipping workshop. I wonder if there'd be any interest?

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  • 8. Posted by Bernice R on Tue, Jun 05, 2007

    I can clearly remember recess as a time a excercising and playing games. There were prefects (other school children) who would monitor activities, and we respected them for this. Today these young ones would be bullied and probably hurt if they were assigned these tasks. The school system is totall different now, what with the guns, knives and other weapons. The play grounds are certainly not a safe place for children at any age unless it's supervised by teachers and even so its not safe. Children have lost the age of skipping, hopscotch rounders etc, the daily physical activity supervised by the teachers is safer for now. Until the schools become the safe haven it used to be with the teachers in control. If this ever happens again

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  • 9. Posted by anndouglas on Tue, Jun 05, 2007

    Fishbowl fish, I think a lot of those traditional playground games are being lost. About 10 years ago, Sharon McKay wrote a really great book called Chalk Around the Block that reminded kids (and adults) how to play some of those games. It came with chalk and marbles and other items that were once kid-essentials. I'm not sure if it is still in print -- it was published by Somerville House, which is no longer around -- but maybe some other publisher has picked up the rights.

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  • 10. Posted by anndouglas on Tue, Jun 05, 2007

    ebernice -- I'm glad you mentioned the game of "rounders." I had never heard of that game until my 98-year-old Grandma told me about it a few years ago. I was interviewing her about her life and I was asking her about what she used to do for fun when she was a kid. Here's a link to a website describing how the game is played. Obviously, the equipment was a bit more rustic in Grandma's day!

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  • 11. Posted by anndouglas on Tue, Jun 05, 2007

    Fishbowl Fish: I wanted to pick up on the point you raised about hosting a skipping workshop at your kids' school. I think this is a fabulous idea for so many reasons. I like the fact that it's something practical and positive you can do to offer to "fix recess". Skipping is one of those activities that people can do for a lifetime. It's cheap and portable; it can be done individually or as a group (although I'm not sure if I can foresee a time when men's skipping leagues overtake men's hockey leagues). :-)

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