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Steamy secrets to great sex

From signature moves to confidence-boosting tips, readers reveal their smartest, steamiest sex lessons.

By Kali Pearson
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Make love like it's your last time. Enjoy yourself and have the freedom to do what feels natural. It really is the only time you can lose control and feel great about it!

Gabriella, Toronto

Touch sometimes gets overlooked - but it works better than champagne! Just the touch of his hands on every part of my body before, during and after sex makes me feel sexier than a new pair of jeans.

Katy, Lloydminster, Sask.

When things start to become lifeless in the bedroom, a trip to a sex shop with my partner usually livens things up again. We don't even need to purchase anything - just browsing for 30 minutes usually gives us new ideas to get the blood flowing.

Marie, Scarborough, Ont.

I went through the days of empowerment when I felt that using a man for sex was fine. Just physical, right - like scratching an itch? But it didn't really work. I found that the only time sex could be really fulfilling was when there was a genuine connection with my partner. Without the love, you might as well just masturbate. Even so-so sex with a loved one can be fulfilling.

Denise, Edmonton

When I was 17, a friend I'd met in my first year at college taught me about masturbation. She sat in the school cafeteria and explained, quite matter-of-factly, exactly what to do and how to do it. It gave me a great sense of power to know I was responsible for my own pleasure by getting to know my body and easily achieving orgasm. I've always been grateful for that early lesson - it gave me immense confidence in my sexual relationships afterwards. Thanks, Bonnie - wherever you are!

Cathy, Kanata, Ont.

My best lesson is something a 72-year-old lady once said: "When you're the only naked woman in the room, to him you're worth a million bucks."

Silvana, Toronto

Sex does not make the world go round, though you would never guess this by reading magazines. It's just a part of life - keep it in balance. If you are not sexually active for any number of reasons, you are not a freak of nature and can still lead a great life.

Terry, Peace River, Alta.

If you're faking it, you're not only lying to your partner, you're lying to yourself. Take the time to discover you - it's really worth the trip. And never believe that you're no good in bed!

Paula, Vancouver

Squeeze! Contract your pelvic floor during intercourse - it will help you reach orgasm faster. Also, your partner will go out of his mind!(Tip: to contract your pelvic floor, tighten the muscles you would use to stop the flow of urine.)

Pamela, Uxbridge, Ont.

The more you get it, the more you want it! If you're going through a phase where sex feels like a chore, try doing it anyway. Ten bucks says once you're actually doing it, you'll be glad you tried. Your body will crave it more and more, and you can start enjoying a regular sex life again.

Kristin, Surrey, B.C.

Anything goes, as long as both people communicate and want the same thing. I grew up in a family that didn't talk about sex, and I felt guilty and ashamed for much of my life because I had fantasies that I thought were "wrong" - fantasies about being tied up, being taken and ravished, and also fantasies about being with another woman. In my 20s, I met a group of older women who taught me that I didn't need to be ashamed anymore - that sex is meant to be fun, open and fantastic - as long as I was careful in considering who I want to share myself with. I'm not ashamed to play and I'm not afraid to say "no" if I need to.

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