Have better sex this year

Breaking sex news: A recent survey conducted by Leger Marketing and sponsored by Eli Lilly Canada Inc. found that while nearly eight in 10 Canadians believe sexual intimacy is an important part of their lives, 47 per cent would not speak to their partner first if they thought there was a serious issue negatively impacting their sexual relationship. Surprised? Now throw in the shopping, wrapping, baking, cleaning and more that comes with December and you're sure to find an alarming amount of unsatisfied couples. We spoke with psychotherapist, relationship and sex therapist Rebecca Rosenblat to find out her best advice for getting better sex for Christmas.

Talk about the bigger picture

One in two men over 50 and one in three over 40 suffer from erectile dysfunction. "With sex being so important to most of us and too many of us losing the privilege, not to mention self-esteem, closeness and spontaneous connection," says Rosenblat, "I can't think of a better gift than to talk about it and head out to the doctor to reclaim the gift of intimacy and get a new lease on your sex life, especially since now we have new agents that can be popped once a day." Starting the conversation may be uncomfortable at first, but communicating with your partner openly and honestly will give you both the best gift imaginable - sex for life!

Mistletoe hot spots

When we make love, says Rosenblat, we release Oxytocin - a feel-good, bonding, relaxing hormone that de-stresses us and lifts our spirits at a time when it's easy to feel depleted. She suggests hanging some mistletoe over the bed, the kitchen counter and wherever else you need a reminder to kiss, connect and fool around. And don't be shy. "It may sound corny," she says, "but there's nothing corny about reminding yourself to stay connected at a time when relationships get set aside."

Spoil each other

There's no avoiding it: This holiday season will be more difficult for Canadians facing a struggling economy. The budget crunch could cause some parents to opt out of exchanging gifts to make it better for their kids. But don't neglect how you feel about each other. "Even if it's something small, take the time to put some thought into spoiling each other," says Rosenblat. "Maybe it's a bedroom gift where undressing can be more exciting than unwrapping or you can become each other's sex genie for the night and get little gifts to carry out your plan." Another great idea? Swap babysitting time with other parents who are also feeling the pinch, she says. It gives you all time to recharge your batteries and reconnect with your partners.

First published in Chatelaine.com's January 2009 issue.
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