Not Happy With My Hand

1. Posted by James H on Thu, Sep 17, 2009

Once again, Women don't have a clue what the hell they want... I to am in a sexless relationship with the love of my life for 19 yrs. She has zero sex drive. I have discussed this with her on many occassions and she says she'll change, just to fall back to the same sexless routine over and over again. I speak the truth here ladies, if you let your sex life go because you'd rather get some extra zzzz's or the kids had you running around or whatever, your man WILL have an affair. Sex is the most important part of the entire relationship, don't let any of these politically correct Quake Phd's tell you different. If you use sex as a weapon you will lose him as well. By that I mean, he came home later than he said...I'm not having sex with him for a week. etc... Don't ever let that become your decision to not have sex, it will ruin your marriage. It does and will come to a point where your man will find another woman to have sex with. It may even be a hooker. Women don't want to face reality here, I just told you the honest to god truth... Time to wake up girls... Oh and when your are having sex with your man, the dirtier the better, we will do whatever you want us to, as long as you return the favor. WAKE UP!!! Stop over analyzing things, it truley is this simply...

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2. Posted by Stephen on Sat, Aug 29, 2009

wow, relationships are difficault eh? not sure who the guy was a couple of comments up who suggested seperation and then a list of demands? buddy, keep your day job, don't go into couple counselling, ok? sex leaving a relatioship isn't a problem, it's a symptom, a response to whatever is going on in the relationship. and if it started happening a lonf time ago, trying to fix or change the present isn't going to work. you need to explore whatever it was that initially triggered the behavioure in the first place? what was happening way back then that changed everything for her? was it the act of getting married in the first place? some people only plan their lives up to the point of marriege and the day after the honeymoon is over there is this incredible sense of 'ok, what now?'. it may even further back than that guy, and i am not saying this isn't your problem cause it is, your in the midst of it whether you like it or not. and if you love your wife as much as you say you do then stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop looking for excuses to mess with you sister-inlaw. she is family man, don't even think about going there! back to your wife. she may well have seen you as her "knight in shinning armor" who would save her from whatever demons she has had all her life that you might not even have been aware of. and, the day after the honeymoon when nothing really changed she falls into a depression deep enough she feels she need to eat her way out of it. which only makes things worse unless you have the ability to enjoy the joy's of loving a bbw? the way you discribe your wife (if you discription is to be trusted, remember not long ago you were thinking of bopping your sister-inlaw, so your not intirerly without fault) just screams depression. screams of someone so "stuck" in a moment of history you need to be holding her in your arms, not worrying about your dick, and getting her the kind of help she needs. if you don't love your wife, just take that hike you want.

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3. Posted by Caressa on Fri, Aug 7, 2009

Why don't you guys go to councelling. Best way to solve marital problems, because it would be good for her to know how you are feeling and maybe she feels differently than you think as well. Don't go trying to end your marriage that you btw made those vows to keep. Try fixing the problems by communication. And I really hate how he says he doesn't find his wife attractive anymore, because he should love her no matter what she looks like, and that is just horrible to say. Sometimes we cannot prevent our bodies from changing, but maybe she did get too comfortable. But telling her she is unattractive will shoot her self confidence right down if it isn't there already. Trust me most women know when they are overweight and know how unattractive they look without having a husband who isn't being very supportive about it. Try helping her lose weight and make healthier choices like eating differently and doing activities together that involve some form of excercise.

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4. Posted by Blahblahblah on Sun, Jul 12, 2009

OMG, who ever wrote the second part of this article is an idiot. Let you tell you what my mother always said. "Sex should only be 10% of the relationship. When it becomes a problem it should be 90% of the relationship.". That's the truth. Your wife is going to have an affair on you with another woman. That is a fact, period.

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5. Posted by BlazeOneG on Sun, Jul 12, 2009

While i'm a fan of Josey Vogels writing, this article does indeed smell of the typical "It's always the mans fault". Personally, would give the man credit of putting up with his partner not fulfilling his needs for the past 12 years and that while he is getting distracted by other females in his life, he still wants to try with his wife. BUT, I am sure most people would tell a woman to leave a man that has not been fulfilling HER needs for 12 years.

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6. Posted by CK on Tue, Jul 7, 2009

....typical answer from a female...I feel for you buddy...its tough when you get married and they let it all go, reduce the amount of sex (wait until you have kids if you really want to see a reduction) and get overweight in a short period of time....and then if you should by chance show any hint of disappointment your considered scum by every woman in the world...particularly the ones who write in these advice columns...and whats Josey's answer...the same as it is every column...make it more about the woman...do more for her, give her more while ignoring your own needs in the hopes that somehow that will change her behaviour...unlikely if you ask me based on how you describe your pre marriage period....oh and btw...your feelings toward your hotter sister in law are totally understandable given your lack of sexual release in the marriage and throughout the relationship....obviously unless she makes the first move its best to try to push those feelings aside even though its not easy and also try not spend too much time in her company...hmmmm...based on what you say you might even want to consider suggesting a separation....and then to get back together you must let your your wife know bluntly what you will expect in regard to the frequency of intimate relations, and that she will have to agree with scheduled sex dates...be direct or she will most likely try to get out of the agreement later...to help her keep her figure you should be prepared to work out as a couple on a nightly basis at least 5 nights a week...make it part of your routine and dont let her off the hook... make sure your demands are clear as to what you need in the marriage to make it work for you....and then also be prepared to walk if she wont agree....you will have to lead, not follow, if you want to repair this situation.

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7. Posted by Al D on Tue, May 12, 2009

I tried to post a comment here and it did not apear

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