Experiencing A Bladder Problem

Dear Josey,

Whenever my wife and I have sex she is very sore afterwards. As she puts it, it feels like I’m hitting her bladder. I know one solution would be to not penetrate her all the way, but she seems to want me to. Do you have any suggestions that may help prevent me from “breaking her?”

Experiencing A Bladder Problem

Dear EBP,

Unless you’re penetrating her urethra or pee hole (in which case she’d have a lot more to complain about than a sore bladder, and no kids, do not try it), I’m pretty sure you’re not hitting her bladder. More likely you’re hitting her cervix, the pearly gates to her uterus, if you will. Some women have shorter vaginal canals or some guys have longer penises (or a little of both) which causes the cervix pounding. You won’t “break her” but it might be what’s leaving her so sore. If she likes deep penetration but doesn’t enjoy that bruised cervix feeling afterwards, perhaps you can compromise by laying off the jackhammer approach while still enjoying some slow, deep penetration. And it’s always good to remind ourselves that the most sensitive, nerve-packed area of a woman’s vagina in within the first inch or so of the opening, so shallow, slow thrusting combined with the occasional deep (in your case, slow) penetration to give her that “full” feeling can be a more wicked combination than having our cervix pummeled.

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