Let it out You may need to physically express that anger. If so, Bradley suggests a couple of non-violent, non-scary strategies: "Rip up egg cartons," she says. "Keep a stack on the counter. It's a great physical release. Or keep scrap paper and your kids' crayons on hand - just strike the crayon across the paper."
Step back Roussy Layton reminds herself to step back and compose herself before dealing with a maddening situation. "Adding some humour also seems to defuse the situation," she says.
Call in reinforcements Welton tag-teams with her husband. "Fortunately, one or the other of us is rational when the other one is getting frustrated with the kids."
Change your perspective "Though it has taken me four years to learn this," says Welton, "I ask myself, ‘Will this matter in five years - or even five minutes?'"
Wallace says, "My trick is to try to remember that there are many people out there who can't have children or who have lost children, who would love to have everything I am experiencing right now. It helps me realize that this little tantrum or whatever is very small in the grand scheme of things, that I am so lucky to have this lovable child."
When to seek help
We all make mistakes, but when those mistakes are too frequent or too severe, our kids can suffer. When should you seek counselling to help with stress relief or anger management?
"The bottom line is safety," says family counsellor Laura Bradley. "When your anger feels out of control, it's good to get some help." It's not easy to admit to an anger problem, but remember, it's your child's well-being at stake. Look in the phone book under Marriage, Family & Individual Counselling, or ask your family doctor for a referral.
Originally published in Today's Parent December 2007. This content was current at the time of publication.
