Encouraging your older child to welcome the new baby

Wondering what you can do to help the relationship between your preschooler and his/her new brother or sister get off to the best possible start? Here are a few tips:

• Involve your older child in your pregnancy. Take your older child along to prenatal checkups so that she will have the opportunity to listen to the baby's heartbeat and to ask the doctor or midwife any questions she may have about the baby.
• If your local hospital or childbirth association offers a sibling preparation class, sign your child up. Similarly, if you will be giving birth in a hospital or birthing center, try to arrange for your child to take a tour before the big day arrives.
• Take your older child along when you're shopping for the new baby. Allow her to make as many purchasing decisions as possible (e.g. what color of blanket to buy for the baby).
• Don't oversell the new sibling. A newborn isn't a lot of fun--at least not right away. Make sure that your child understands that newborns spend a lot of their time sleeping and eating, and that it will be at least a few months before the new baby laughs or crawls.
• Take advantage of your child's natural curiosity about babies. Explain why babies sleep so much, why they eat so often, and why they need to be changed so many times each day. Most children are fascinated by the differences between their own daily routines and those of newborn babies.
• Buy your child a small gift from the new baby--perhaps a new book that the two of you can enjoy reading together while you're feeding the baby.
• Encourage a relative or friend of the family to do something special with your older child when the new baby first arrives. Some time alone with Grandma or Grandpa may be all that it takes to remind your child that she's just as special as always.
• Encourage your older child to participate as much as possible in the baby's care. Even a very young child pick out baby's outfit for the day or find a toy to entertain him. You might even encourage your child to make an eye-popping black and white mobile to hang over baby's crib.
• When you're taking photos of the new baby, be sure to include your older child in some of the photographs as well. Then order double prints so that your child can start a photograph album of her own.
• Don't despair if sibling love doesn't blossom overnight. It can take time for your older child to develop feelings for the new baby, but that special sibling bond will emerge over time.