Grandma's Quilts (continued)

Know when it’s time to introduce a new fabric or pattern. The most accomplished quilters don’t allow themselves to get so tied to tradition that they end up getting stuck in a rut. They constantly challenge themselves to introduce new fabrics and new patterns that will enhance the overall design of the quilt they are creating. It’s a lesson that also applies to the holiday season, says Tracey Arial, a Montreal mother of two. “Each year, Pedro and I try one activity with the kids that we’ve never tried before.” One year it was going to see The Nutcracker ; another year it was taking their two children to the botanical gardens so that they could see the seasonal displays of flowers and birds. Of course, not every activity becomes a permanent part of their family holiday traditions: the trip to The Nutcracker was such a disaster that they’ve vowed never to repeat it!

Commit to enjoying the process as much as the final product. Quilters require an extraordinary amount of patience, as do parents. In both cases, the final product—a finished quilt or a fully-grown child—is many years in the making. Stephanie Whittaker, a Montreal mother of two, likes to take advantage of the slower pace of life between Christmas and New Year’s and to use this as a time to really reconnect with her kids: “I find that it's an excellent time to just ‘hang out’ with my children. One of my favourite things to do with them is to go to the movies. It forces me to slow down from my workaday life and just ‘be.’” Montreal mother of two Tracey Arial takes things one step further, scheduling a much-needed Pajama Day for her family during the holiday season: “Pajama Day is a tradition I’ve carried over from my own childhood,” she explains. “Typically, we celebrate it on Boxing Day. On Pajama Day, you do not get dressed. You do not cook. You just play all day.”

Don’t demand perfection of yourself or your kids. It’s a rare quilt indeed that doesn’t harbour at least one tiny little flaw (although, thankfully, in most cases, the flaw is only visible to the quilter!). And, of course, it’s an even rarer family that doesn’t have to contend with at least the odd squabble, spilled drink, or broken toy during the holiday season. “Don’t get too carried away by your expectations of a Norman Rockwell or Martha Stewart holiday,” advises Peterborough mother of three Diane Wolf. “Instead, pick one thing that will be low-stress, fun, and easy. The fastest way to a disastrous holiday season is to overdo things.” Montreal mother of two Stephanie Whittaker agrees. She has found that it works best take a hands-off approach to certain things—like the decorating of the tree: “I leave the tree for the children to decorate. The tree may be less than perfect, but I say, just go with the flow. Call it Christmas Zen.”

Keep the bigger pattern in mind. A wise quilter always has a picture in her head of how the various pieces of the quilt are going to come together. A wise parent is just as clear about what values anchor his or her family. While it’s easy for values to get misplaced amongst all the giftwrap at this busy time of year, Anita Paradis, an Orleans, Ontario, mother of four, tries to ensure that her family’s holiday celebrations are in synch with their “big picture” values. In her case, that means teaching her children to be less materialistic. “One thing I consider a special challenge is swimming against the tide of consumerism and commercialism. It is difficult to explain to young children why they can’t—and shouldn’t—have everything they see in television commercials, glossy flyers and catalogues, and stores. It is especially difficult when their friends’ parents buy into the whole package and the children end up comparing their ‘take’ after the holidays.” Paradis’ solution to this problem has been to find creative ways to teach her children the art of giving during the busy holiday season: “My children make gifts for their grandparents, aunts, and uncles, and I hope those are the memories they’ll treasure: the time we spent together making gifts and the satisfaction that comes from making something with love. We also participate in an outreach programme that makes hampers available to families who are less fortunate than our own and I hope this will be a special memory for my children, too.”