Parenting nirvana: You can get there from here (continued)

Love the one you're with. This bit of advice doesn't merely apply to the world of romance. It also applies to the world of parenting. Instead of wasting your time wishing that your child was a little less intense, a little more cooperative, or a little less stubborn, your energies would be better spent trying to appreciate your child for who she is—you know, the completely raw, unedited version!

Sometimes this means accepting the fact that you and your child are two entirely different people. Like it or not, she's not just a mini you, and no matter how hard you try to get her hooked on auto-racing or astronomy or gourmet cooking—whatever it is in this world that makes your heart pump a little faster—you’re wasting your breath if she’s drawn to the world of earthworms and other creepy crawlies. You’re also likely to frustrate yourself to no end and to aggravate your beloved offspring in equal measure if you try to sell your in-house Curious George on the merits of sitting still for hours at a time—or if you try to convince your painfully shy child that it’s “fun” to spend a day hobnobbing with strange, loud, boisterous children at your company’s annual family picnic. (Fun. Wow.)

So rather than attempting to do battle with your child’s in-born temperament, why not learn to appreciate her for the one-of-a-kind miracle that she is and zero in on a parenting style that will bring out the best rather than the worst in her? That kind of creative thinking is, after all, what parenting is all about.

Handpick your parenting role models and mentors. Better yet, put together your own informal parenting board of directors—a group of parents that you like and respect and that you can turn to by phone, e-mail, or over a pot of tea the next time the going gets rough (as it inevitably will!)

And don't be afraid to send yourself back to Parenthood U for a bit of academic upgrading if the situation warrants it. Read books, takes courses, talk to other parents: do whatever it takes to pull together the ultimate professional development program for yourself so that you can stay one step ahead of the parenting game.

Parenthood is, after all, the ultimate personal growth experience—an opportunity to stretch yourself in all kinds of new and unforeseen ways (and, no, I’m not talking stretch marks here). Just when you’ve got the hang of caring for a baby, your child morphs into a toddler, forcing you to hone your patience skills to such a degree that you figure you’re pretty much a shoe-in for sainthood. And so it goes from one stage to the next: you no sooner master one set off skills when you’re called upon to master another. That’s what makes this parenting so interesting and so much fun: you never have the chance to get stuck in a rut.

Of course, parenthood can be exhausting and frustrating, too. There may be days when you swear you’ve been conned into appearing as a contestant on the most gruelling reality television show ever invented—Parent TV. Those are the days when you need to pick up the phone and call up a friend who is one step ahead of you in the parenting trenches—who can reassure you that whatever it is about your child that happens to be pushing your buttons right now is a limited time offer. Before you know it, your child will have moved on to another challenging stage that will be pushing your buttons in entirely new and different ways. And that’s good news in a personal growth experience kind of way, now isn’t it? Isn’t it?