Mom University

This is one in a series of ongoing “Mom University” columns about motherhood. This time out, I’m talking to humour writer Dorianne Sager, author of Baby is a Four Letter Word (Key Porter Books, 2006, $22.95, www.sager.ca).

Ann: What is it about motherhood that compels so many of us to want to write about our experiences, whether we're journaling, blogging, emailing other moms about what's going on with our kids, or writing books or articles about life on Motherhood Avenue?

Dorianne: I think the all-consuming nature of motherhood and the pressure of responsibility require us to share with other mothers. Writing about motherhood is a great way to create a sense of community; to reassure ourselves we are doing a good job, and to remind us that we are not in fact crazy, no matter how hard our children may be working to convince us otherwise! And as my husband pointed out, once you become a parent, something new happens every day as you watch your baby develop. Before we had our son our lives centred round travelling, eating out, and regular sex, I mean how boring is that?

Ann: You share a lot about yourself in your writing. How do you decide where to draw the line?

Dorianne: I’m sure that after reading my ‘Sex After Baby’ chapter my husband would argue I have yet to draw the line! I have to say, that when I was writing the book I choose to share just about everything. I found motherhood to be so intense in what it required of me, both emotionally and physically, that I felt if I didn’t talk about the struggles and insecurities I wrestled with, I would compromise the value of those moments that brought such laughter and joy.

Ann: You're about to pull up stakes and move across the country. You tell me you're driving from BC to Ontario, mega-pregnant, with a preschooler. Is this because you're driving the moving van yourself? Because you're going to be too pregnant to fly? Inquiring minds want to know....

Dorianne: My husband loves road trips. He spent the three weeks of our honeymoon driving around eastern Canada while I slept in the passenger seat. He’s from New Zealand and has never seen the Prairies which is why we decided to drive to Ontario. I blame the pregnancy hormones for letting him convince me that a two week trip across the country in a cramped car with a dodgy bladder and a bored toddler kicking the back of my seat the whole way could still be considered a vacation! (Luckily we were able to coincide the trip with a bit of a book tour, so we’ll be multi-tasking.) It seems to be a bit of a pattern for us, the last time I was seven months pregnant we moved from the UK to Vancouver. I’ve told Andrew that this has to be my last pregnancy, because I do not want to move again after this!

Ann: I've often felt that giving birth to a book is a lot like giving birth to a baby. Am I crazy or do you see any similarities? (Don't feel obligated to answer the first part of that question.)

Dorianne: I would definitely agree: both are painful and messy processes, but ultimately rewarding. Of course, the birth of a book is slightly easier when a glass of wine is sitting beside the computer. Doctors tend to frown on alcohol in the delivery room!

Ann: Here comes the most predictable question of all: the one every mom who writes gets asked: "When do you find time to write?"