on Yahoo!
You're invited to a wedding this year -- or perhaps to multiple weddings -- but once the initial joy wears off the numbers quickly start to add up. Even if you're not involved with the wedding the expenses for new clothes, travel and accommodations can put a real dent in your budget.
And then there's the often controversial question of how much you're supposed to spend on a wedding gift. How much is enough (or too much!), and what should you know before you hit the stores?
Rules of thumb?
How much should you spend? It depends on who you ask, and there's no shortage of opinions out there. We scanned the internet looking for solid numbers, and here are the results for Canada and the U.S.:
- The bare minimum: For co-workers, distant relatives, distant family friends and people you aren't that close to many sources say you shouldn't spend less than $50. However, some put the price tag a little lower ($25-$35) and some aim higher ($75).
- For relatives and friends, the recommended range is about $75-$100. (Again, some sources go $25 lower or higher).
- For close friends and close family members, the range starts at $100 and can top out at $150 - $200.
- Parents of the bride and groom, siblings and members of the bridal party may be "expected" to pay more, but most sources won't give specific numbers as contributions to the wedding itself need to be factored in.
Remember, these numbers are per person . If you're bringing a spouse or a date the expectation is that both people contribute and buy a gift that's roughly double the price for a single person. What about kids? Some sources say you should spend more on a gift if you're bringing them along too.
What about that common trick of gauging your gift at the price of the meal? Bad idea, say etiquette experts. While the wedding gift has become a social obligation, it's important to remember that bringing a gift to any occasion is a voluntary act that expresses affection and joy. It's bad manners for the host to expect any gift at all let alone one that covers "the price of admission".
In addition, guests shouldn't feel they have to shell out big bucks for couples who have the means to hold a large, lavish wedding or get married in a large city like Toronto or Vancouver. In fact, some guests take the opposite approach and spend a little more on smaller weddings because their travel and accommodation costs are lower, and they feel that less well-off couples could use a little extra help.
So what's a more realistic measure? Forget the numbers. Instead, consider your relationship with the couple and your financial situation. The Wedding Channel advises that the only rule of thumb is to avoid spending more than you can afford. (After all, how would you feel if someone spent more than you knew they could afford on a gift for you?) The Emily Post Institute says there's no rule for spending, and it should be up to guests to decide for themselves. Affection and budget are the only guides you need.
The bottom line: It's up to you to decide how much you want to, and can afford to, spend on a gift. When it comes to proper etiquette, the onus is on the hosts to be gracious and grateful recipients.
"I dos" for the gift-giver
So how can you choose the perfect gift while staying within your means? Here are some tips to stretch your gift-giving dollars:
11 Comments
LEAVE YOUR COMMENT
You must sign in to leave a commentcharacter(s) remaining