A Kids Help Phone Counsellor

The teenage boy on the phone has a problem — he’s not getting along with his father.

“Do you feel like your dad doesn’t love you?” Shannon Freud asks him.

“I know he does,” the caller replies.

“But do you feel like he doesn’t?” Shannon pushes him.

“Yeah,” he admits.

After listening some more, Shannon asks the caller if he thinks his dad is giving him mixed messages — not wanting to let him grow up, but at the same time needing him to be more independent. “I can’t tell you how many times we’ve had that conversation,” the boy agrees, relief in his voice.

It’s one of those moments that anyone who works with kids relishes: when you “get” what they’re telling you, and they get that you get it. A moment like that always stands out, but is perhaps a particular treat for Shannon tonight. Last week was March break in most parts of Canada and “pretty pranky,” she says — kids offering up outrageous stories, putting counsellors on speakerphone, laughing in the background. They can be trying, but even prank calls serve a purpose. “Kids are trying to test us out,” says Shannon. “It’s like they’re thinking ‘What would happen if we told them some big extravagant lie, what would they say? Would they tell us the truth?’”

Counsellors have a diploma or degree in child and youth counselling

Shannon is a counsellor at Kids Help Phone (kidshelpphone.ca, 1-800-668-6868), a national hotline for children and youth that’s available 24-7, and is free, confidential and anonymous. She has a background in counselling assaulted women and children and, before starting at Kids Help Phone almost four years ago, she worked at Katimavik, a residential volunteering program for 17- to 21-year-olds. Though she doesn’t have kids of her own yet, Katimavik taught her a lot about what it will be like when she does. “I was kind of like a single parent for 11 teenagers,” she says with a laugh.

All the counsellors at Kids Help Phone — there are about 100 — have a diploma or degree in child and youth counselling or applied social sciences, something like social work or psychology, explains Janice Currie, vice-president of counselling. And because many have worked in specific areas, such as addictions or eating disorders, their collective expertise is exhaustive. That’s good because kids call about every issue under the sun: overprotective parents, best friends who ignore them, wanting to be smarter. Sometimes they call in crisis; sometimes they disclose abuse. The number one reason kids call (23 percent) is because they’re experiencing mental health problems, such as depression or anxiety. Number two is peer issues (22 percent); family relationships are third (13 percent).

This night is the first of five during which I am chatting with Shannon while she’s on shift. For privacy reasons, I’m not allowed in the room with her, but I’m checking in every couple of hours to hear what’s happening. One thing she’s noticed this Sunday evening is a mild panic in the air — tomorrow is the first day back at school. “We’ll often get something like ‘Hi, I’m being bullied. What should I do?’” says Shannon. “So you try to pull out information: ‘Who’s bullying you? How do you respond? How’s that working for you?’ A lot of the time, they just want to know how to deal with the situation and move on.”