Reaching Out to a Sick Co-Worker

What should you do if you’re not sure how to behave around a colleague returning from work after breast cancer? There’s no magic formula for what you should say or do, but understanding her situation can help you become a more sensitive co-worker.

It’s not about you
*First, put aside any resentment you may feel about any extra work you had to take on in her absence, or are still taking on. Discuss this with your employer instead; maybe the tasks can be shared with other colleagues? Keep in mind she may be feeling guilty about the extra work, too. Greet her with a smile, not a nasty comment about being kept busy with her projects.

What to say?
*If you’re not sure what to say, a simple “great to have you back” should suffice. By all means, don’t avoid her, or ask her intrusive questions that might leave her feeling ill at ease. Whether or not she wants you to ask her about her cancer can be difficult to gauge, so it’s best not to unless she brings it up.

Treat her like everyone else
*Remember that cancer can be an isolating experience. She may just be eager to return to work, to interact with other people and get back to a normal routine. She may just want to be treated like anyone else—if she feels overly coddled at home, being around people who do not regard her as sick can be a welcome reprieve. So don’t be surprised if she doesn’t want to discuss her health with you.

Focus on work
*You will also have to put aside your own fears and concerns. Being around a cancer survivor can trigger a range of feelings, particularly if someone you care about has been touched by the disease. At the same time, your colleague may even resent the good health of those around her. Be aware of your feelings, and hers, but exercise sensitivity, putting them aside and keeping the focus on work.

Welcome her back to the team
*Show your concern by asking her how you can help her find her bearings at work again—she’ll appreciate the extra help. Remind her that you’re both members of the same team, supporting each other at work, and that she’s an important member of the team, too. Ask her for her input on tasks, big and small. Give her the gift of feeling useful and valuable, without making her feel guilty about her absence—no comments about how the office fell apart when she was gone!

Respect your boundaries—tactfully
*Some breast cancer survivors don’t feel at ease discussing the details of their illness, but others may want to share. If you don’t feel comfortable listening to her, change the topic by asking her if she’s in touch with a support group for fellow survivors? You don’t want to hurt her feelings, but you do want to convey that you care about her well-being. Email her the details for locating a support group where she can meet others who have been there before her—click here for where she can look.

Show your support
*Another great way to show your support is to organize a fundraising initiative at your office, raising money for breast cancer research. Click here for tips on raising money. Be sure to run the idea by her first, in case it makes her feel awkward.