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  • i am madly in love with 2 girls?

    Singles & Dating - 5 hours ago

    Additional Details

    ok well both of these girls are very gorgeous and beautiful, and i have also known them for about 2 years, i am friends with both of them, but the first girl i have went out with before, about a year ago and now she likes me again, as do i. The other girl i haven't ever went out with before but she said about a month ago, she would consider going out with me (if i ask her). They are very nice girls, but i know i can only go out with one of them i need help...... witch one should u i ask out???
  • are you attracted to feminine men?

    Singles & Dating - 5 hours ago

    Additional Details

    i tend to like gay men, i like a guy that can dance. well, that dresses nice, smells good, is intelligent. not all about his muscles. is clean cut, i tend to like gay men. what are you attracted too?
  • What to do for friend on anniversary of her father's death?

    Friends - 5 hours ago

    Additional Details

    My best friend's father was murdered three years ago, and the anniversary of his death is coming up in the middle of November and I was trying to come up with some ideas as to what I could do for her and her family. I'm very close with them, but it's hard to think of something, given the situation. Does anyone have any ideas about what I could do? Thank you! WHOA. Some people are taking a nice gesture as something mean. There's a nice way to explain how you feel, making someone feel as if they're doing something bad, when only trying to help, isn't it. I in no way shape or form meant as a way to "celebrate" I simply only wanted ideas as to what I could do for her that day to get her mind off of it.
  • How do I stop myself from having sex?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    whenever my boyfriend and i see each other, we have sex multiple times. if i tell him that i don't want to, he respects that, but it always seems like i'm the one asking for it. i don't know how to not want it so badly. whenever we're together, we're almost always alone at my house or at a hotel, so it's really hard not to, and i always end up doing it anyway. afterwards, i don't have any regrets, but i just wish i didn't give in that easily. does anyone have any advice?
  • Ladies only? Would you find me attractive?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

  • What should I do now after I told him I like him?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    We've liked each other a long time and I just thought I'd tell him and get over it but he didn't do/say anything. What would you do if you were in this situation? I've waited 2 weeks! I'm thinking it's time to move on.
  • please help!! im sooo confused about this guy!!?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    so my best guy friend who likes me alot and i like him back, but i wouldnt wanna date him cuz hes a player, and im kinda like the type that is waiting for a good guy whos trustworthy, and im 15, and havent a had a boyfriend yet cuz im picky and think i deserve better than alot of the guys tht go to my school, and he knows this. and his friends always tell me tht even tho he dates all the hoes, he likes me alot more and respects me more. but i know he doesnt want to date me for tht exact reason, cuz i respect myself too much (so he wont get sex from me is what im saying..) and so this weekend, he texted me after we were kinda fighting about how hes dating all these slutty girls and then lieing to me abnout not having a girlfriend when he does just so i'll go to the movies with him.and he texted: "i want u to know this, i do like u, i like u alot" and i was freaking out cuz he finally admitted to me that he liked me alot to my face, while he has a girlfreidn!!!!! wtf!!!! so what do u think is the reason he likes me so much but wont go out with me?! and do u think hes just keeping me aorund for rebound? and also we always give really close hugs, but recently hes been giving me these hugs where he like puts his arms really close aorund my lower waist by my butt (which he said was big last year and i got mad at him for saying tht lol, so understandable why he'd want to hug me near there). and normally, since hes tall with wide shoulders and a small waist and hips, and im short, i normally wrap my arms around hiss waist and his arms go around me when we hug. what do u think that means? he has a girlfriend, why cant he get those kind of hugs from her?!
  • Should I make my Mother suffer?

    Family - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    I hate my Mother. She's not abusive or anything, but she doesn't understand me neither the rest of my family. I want to get revenge. I want to make her suffer because she wouldn't let me and my brother order food as there's nothing much left in the fridge. She thinks there's more food for us in the fridge, but we both don't agree with her. Another thing is she doesn't think I'm grown up enough to go to the doctor even though I'm trying so hard. I hate her so much. I will make her suffer by hurting myself. I hate her! I hate her! I hate her! How could I say that? Now I'm such a terrible person. It's just that I wish she appreciate me even more instead of saying that my drawing is okay. Then she is looking down on me. What should I do to make her even more happier?
  • Dating rules in the USA?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    I am getting a divorce and I am wondering if there are any "dating rules" in the USA.(I am originally from Germany).
  • how to know if this girls perfect for u nd she likes u ?

    Singles & Dating - 6 hours ago

    Additional Details

    okie..here v go.. im 17..n i like dis girl whose 17 too.. she xatly my type.. n she seems perfect for me.. ( u knoe..de crazzy n sweet type i like) =P but im not really sure if shes into me.. wen im wid her..she luks at me often in my eyes.. but wen i luk at her for more than 2 secs ..her eyes darts away.. !! yea..she mite b shy.. even when v both are online.. she the first one to start a conversation...evrytyme.. she responds bak when im flirtin ..nd she fyn abt tokin nethin wid me.. even if shes online oly fer 5 mins or so..she starts a conversation nd asks me 'hw im doin' n 'watz up'...nd she updates me on evrythin wats happenin in her lyf.. On facebook..she ussually comments on watevr status updated i put on..or ne funy results i put up.. . shez also very open wid me..!! she often asks me if i found ne1 perfect for me.. nd also she once askd me wat am i lukin for in a perfect mate.. she somtymes try to match me wid som gurls wen vr tokin..but keeps it in a fun mood.. =D but heyy..daz normal.. she keeps evrythin in a romantic mood wen talkin wid me nd calls me cute nick-names at tymez =D i feel shes tryin to hint me dat she likes me...but den u neva knoe.. she prefers dat a guys asks a girl out rather dan a gurl askin a guy out.. so dat means i hav to ask her first.. !! so i wantd to knoe if dese cud possibly mean shes intrstd in me bfore i carry on ... help me out guyz !!! i relli luv her.. nd dun wanna loose her if shez de perfect one for me..

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The new dating deal-breakers

Six things to watch out for when starting a new relationship

By Mary Anfinsen
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These are strange days for dating. There are countless ways for people to connect, and yet there are a lot of lonely people out there. Do modern men and women lack proper charm and etiquette? Or have times simply changed? As a woman deep in the dating scene, I can report that a new crop of deal-breakers do exist, and they're ruining could-be relationships everywhere. I spoke with Toronto psychotherapist and relationship expert Tara O'Connell to get her opinion on what we can let slide and what we can't ignore.

The Courtesy "We"

Two people meet and sparks start to fly - but one of them is in a relationship. That person has the obligation to drop a "we" at some point during the conversation so the other knows the score. ("Ooh, you should check out Weeds. We watch it every Wednesday.") Last winter, I wasted almost three weeks having dopey daydreams about someone who gave every indication he was doing the same. He sent me cute emails, we had cute conversations, and, most important, he never ever included the word "we" in any description of his life. Then one day I strolled onto an elevator and found him gazing down at a magazine as if he'd found the Holy Grail. "Is that your girlfriend?" someone asked. He kept his head down but murmured with wonder, "She made the cover!" She. Made. The. Cover.

Tara's Take "There could be a reasonable explanation for a man keeping his options open. He could be on the brink of a breakup or looking for an out. It may be that it honestly never occurred to him to talk about relationship status, so in his mind, he's clean. On the other hand, you could be dealing with a narcissist who can't be satisfied with the love of just one woman." If you want to be certain, try a comment such as "You're hilarious. Your girlfriend must be laughing 24/7."

The Three-Second Rule

Call me old-fashioned, but the first time I sit down with someone at a bar or a restaurant, I'd like him to keep it in his pants. The cellphone, that is. There was a time not so long ago when the only possible rival you'd face on a date was the hot server. Now it's becoming standard for your date to arrange his various shiny gadgets between you, like a survival kit for his attention span. The three-second rule works as well here as it does for a burrito dropped on the floor: if attention wanders to a call, text or hot server for more than three seconds, contamination ensues.

Tara's Take "The proliferation of these devices has progressed so rapidly that our social graces haven't had time to catch up. Often people don't see that what they're doing is rude. Call him out, or make a joke such as 'I intend to drink a lot tonight, so we're going to need that space for my wineglasses.'"

Location, Location, Location

If what, where and when become issues, you should probably start asking why. Marly, a full-time secretary in New York, was training for a triathlon in the evenings; Steve, her Internet date, went away most weekends, so they decided to meet for lunch. Steve immediately suggested Marly come to his neighbourhood, though he knew the travel time would eat up most of her lunch hour. Marly asked that they meet halfway and Steve reluctantly agreed. Knowing that she kept modified kosher, he still suggested a Cajun restaurant famous for its (non-kosher) shellfish and pork. Inevitably the date tanked.

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Average (31 Ratings)2.42 out of 5 stars

  • 1. Posted by Shaylaina on Fri, Aug 28, 2009

    Wonderful article and basic knowledge of what respect and a good person is about. If I only had a dime for each time I've heard a man say "I'm different. You've never met anyone like me before" and then I say, "I've heard that from every man I've known" and then they say "yeah, but this time it's true" I always laugh over this as it's always repeated through out my life over and over. Find someone who loves, respects and cares for you for who you are and knows how to show it.

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  • 2. Posted by Divinity on Fri, Aug 28, 2009

    What about the guy who after a year and a half in a relationship starts to tell one ly after another and gets caught all the time. Or the old stand by, "I don't remember saying that!" Some men are so stupid to believe that we would fall for this. He just not into you!!!!!!!

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  • 3. Posted by Maureen on Mon, Jul 13, 2009

    Mark...wow...talk about painting all women with one brush. I know very few women who fit the description you give as 90% of all women. In my world, 90% of women want and are attracted to an honest, down-to-earth man who cares about himself and will respect her. A visible means of income is a given; most of us are not interested in supporting a man without an income. There will always be women golddiggers who want to be seen with the Porsche driving, Gold Card flashing man, just as there will always be men who are looking for a woman to support them and take care of them. I know a lot of quality women who are so NOT interested in all the flash and crap you describe as attractive to women. In fact, these intelligent, attractive and successful women are completely turned off by overt flashing and will walk in the opposite direction if they see it coming. The smart women know it to be a sign of insecurity and most of us are so over taking on fixer-uppers. If the women you describe so bitterly are the kind of women you are meeting and attracting, perhaps you need to look at what signals you are emitting and where you are meeting these women. It's too bad that a few bad apples have spoiled the whole bunch for you, but you are way off the mark Mark. And blaming the women for the behaviour of men is just silly. A man who can quietly hold his own, has his head screwed on, who is confident and together is a major turn-on for any woman I know and that will never go out of style. Time for some reflection and personal inventory.

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  • 4. Posted by Pissed Off on Sun, Jul 12, 2009

    Only about 10% of men are committing the so called rude dating crimes that most women say they abhor but those men are getting 90% of the women...why?..becuase they are giving women what they want and then when women get it they complain and blame the men. Women you have created the men that are out there scamming you out of your panties and breaking your hearts. We all know ( and i have had many women admit to this) that women in these articles and comments are liars becuase they say they want the one thing but really want the and go after the other. A man who does not play with his flashy things and brag about his sucess or popularity or brains or position or does not display these things in some way will be ignored. Well those 10% of men have learned what women want and they give it to them until they are tired of playing the game then they may settle with a women leaving all the rest broken and scarred becuase of there (the women's) selfish and poor judgement for the rest of us 90% of men to have to put up with in trying to find a relationship. Look around the gang guys, the rich guys, the flashy guys without a penny, the popular drug dealers, the poor but charismatic politically correct, ect all atract the women and the women ignore the bad becuase they lust after there own selfishness that they can see that they can get it what ever they want in that guy..power, position, popularity...so women stop ragging on guys you created the guys in the dating scene and you will always complain. Look around this is all obvious in real life.....or watch sex in the city for an example of how disgusting women have become..........

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  • 5. Posted by Pissed Off on Sun, Jul 12, 2009

    Only about 10% of men are committing the so called rude dating crimes that most women say they abhor but those men are getting 90% of the women...why?..becuase they are giving women what they want and then when women get it they complain and blame the men. Women you have created the men that are out there scamming you out of your panties and breaking your hearts. We all know ( and i have had many women admit to this) that women in these articles and comments are liars becuase they say they want the one thing but really want the and go after the other. A man who does not play with his flashy things and brag about his sucess or popularity or brains or position or does not display these things in some way will be ignored. Well those 10% of men have learned what women want and they give it to them until they are tired of playing the game then they may settle with a women leaving all the rest broken and scarred becuase of there (the women's) selfish and poor judgement for the rest of us 90% of men to have to put up with in trying to find a relationship. Look around the gang guys, the rich guys, the flashy guys without a penny, the popular drug dealers, the poor but charismatic politically correct, ect all atract the women and the women ignore the bad becuase they lust after there own selfishness that they can see that they can get it what ever they want in that guy..power, position, popularity...so women stop ragging on guys you created the guys in the dating scene and you will always complain. Look around this is all obvious in real life.....or watch sex in the city for an example of how disgusting women have become..........

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  • 6. Posted by Yvette on Sun, Jul 12, 2009

    What a sad world we live in when men are complaining because women like to be treated with respect. And, yes, respect includes turning your damn cell phone off when on a date. Anyone who needs to be told this is a sorry individual. You know, most of us women don't demand or need a lot, including expensive dinners and flowers. Most of us are thrilled with the little gestures and considerations; they go a long way. Problem is, they seem to be in short supply. I have never stopped seeing a man because he didn't have money to spend on me. In fact, I ended a relationship with a very wealthy man who wanted to marry me, but his home was a pig sty and he was disrespectful of my home. I have ended short-term things with men who were rude by way of constantly taking and making calls, who were late, who were self-centred and the list goes on. This doesn't make me demanding; it just means I have self-respect. As for those who are complaining that this is a sexist article, there are just as many articles written from the male perspective. This just doesn't happen to be one of them. What a bunch of whiners. Love doesn't just fall into your lap and take care of itself; it takes respect, devotion and a hell of a lot of maintenance. If you aren't prepared to work a bit, hang up your hat and resign your self to cyber relationships.

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  • 7. Posted by Francine on Sun, Jul 12, 2009

    Are women still "allowed" to lie about their age? Then if they're not, a man still shouldn't ask a woman's age. Isn't what's important still on the inside? Has this world gone materialistically mad? I suspect the answer is yes, but I hope there are people out there who are not so much into electronic gadgets, toys, skinny models, and can't communicate.

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  • 8. Posted by Meg E on Sat, Jun 27, 2009

    Gah it put it there twice sorry my computer goofed.

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  • 9. Posted by Meg E on Sat, Jun 27, 2009

    Why can't we all just get along? What happened to respect? . What happened to face to face interaction? There are many people who are unconscious & don't understand the difference between love & attachment. Love is unconditional attachment is just brain wires & chemicals a certain way of behavior . These rules go for BOTH sex's. Guys you should feel disrespected too if a woman treats you as second rate, your not, nobody is. Love bigger & move on when somebody doesn't show interest. Why lower your standards? I will never lower my standards of respect & neither should you. If your looking for mr or mrs perfect you will never find it. There are millions of people in the world there's always gonna be somebody that's a better fit. To attract love you have to BE love. Love yourselves respect yourselves & you will attract someone who does the same. Our surroundings mirror our inner environment. If you are an angry person you will attract angry people so clean up your inner garbage! Don't throw it out in the world your only hurting yourself ! Its not what people do to us its how we react to it. Consider everything a lesson & pull wisdom from it otherwise what you just endured was for nothing. Put the work into figuring yourself out don't just sit in ignorance & wonder why your not happy blaming everybody but yourself for your circumstances. If your not happy you better look inside & dig a little deeper than well my ex girl/boyfriend did this or my job sucks. Its YOUR job to find your own happiness wholeness is within yourself. Once you stop looking for it outside you will find some inner peace. Surrender your vulcan death grip on life just get on the air mattress of peace & relax! Who wants to be so stressed?! We have responsibilities but you can choose to make them hard or easy its up to you......

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  • 10. Posted by Meg E on Sat, Jun 27, 2009

    Why can't we all just get along? What happened to respect? . What happened to face to face interaction? There are many people who are unconscious & don't understand the difference between love & attachment. Love is unconditional attachment is just brain wires & chemicals a certain way of behavior . These rules go for BOTH sex's. Guys you should feel disrespected too if a woman treats you as second rate, your not, nobody is. Love bigger & move on when somebody doesn't show interest. Why lower your standards? I will never lower my standards of respect & neither should you. If your looking for mr or mrs perfect you will never find it. There are millions of people in the world there's always gonna be somebody that's a better fit. To attract love you have to BE love. Love yourselves respect yourselves & you will attract someone who does the same. Our surroundings mirror our inner environment. If you are an angry person you will attract angry people so clean up your inner garbage! Don't throw it out in the world your only hurting yourself ! Its not what people do to us its how we react to it. Consider everything a lesson & pull wisdom from it otherwise what you just endured was for nothing. Put the work into figuring yourself out don't just sit in ignorance & wonder why your not happy blaming everybody but yourself for your circumstances. If your not happy you better look inside & dig a little deeper than well my ex girl/boyfriend did this or my job sucks. Its YOUR job to find your own happiness wholeness is within yourself. Once you stop looking for it outside you will find some inner peace. Surrender your vulcan death grip on life just get on the air mattress of peace & relax! Who wants to be so stressed?! We have responsibilities but you can choose to make them hard or easy its up to you......

    Report Abuse

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