"There are no interesting, attractive, available men in Toronto - not my type anyway," says Calgary native Erin Street*, 30, of her experience in the urban dating jungle. In a valiant attempt to track down a decent guy, Street, a film production assistant, joined thousands of hip young women and launched herself into the online dating world. Her profile, she says, went a little something like this: "Things that make me think: J.P. Witkin, math, my friends, this stupid profile...there's more, just ask." But after eight months of dating men who weren't quite right, Street never got the response she was looking for. "I truly and honestly longed for somebody to take the time to google J.P. Witkin and begin a conversation on it," she says. "But nobody ever did."
If you're an Internet-savvy single gal, there's a good chance you've attempted to write your own dating profile. Canada's top dating site, Lavalife.com, boasts 600,000 active members, a number that's growing by the thousands every day. Online dating is a numbers game, and the trick is getting your profile to stand out from the crowd, says Lori Miller, Lavalife's singles and dating expert. Easier said than done. Summing up your very existence in 2,000 characters or less can be a daunting task, and if references to 1960s surrealist photographers (J.P. Witkin for the Google-challenged) won't make you click-worthy, what will? Worry not, fearless dater - we've taken the guesswork out of profile writing. Just bookmark our tips and you'll be getting winks, smiles and messages in no time.
Honesty is the best policy
It's tempting to fudge the details when you're sitting behind your computer screen. Sure, you could shave a few years off your age or call your eyes hazel because it sounds more exotic than brown, but if you eventually decide to meet JohnnyLove28, he'll find out about your fibbing. "Right off the bat you've lost on two fronts," says Rhonda Lenton, co-author of a study funded by Msn.ca on Internet-dating patterns in Canada. "You've basically told him that you're prepared to lie, and you've misrepresented what he was expecting." Lying about your age, weight, whether or not you have kids or posting a false photo are major deal breakers. Lenton, now a dean at Toronto's York University, says participants in her study listed dishonesty as the number one disadvantage to dating online. Even fudging the small stuff may work against you - list sushi as your favourite food even though it grosses you out and you just might end up choking down raw blowfish on your first date. Save yourself a lot of time and heartache by being truthful with every aspect of your profile - your honesty just might be endearing to some lucky fella.
Be crystal clear
As your mother used to say, it takes all kinds - and nowhere is that more true than in the wacky world of online dating. Not everyone is in the market to find true love. "You really have to sit down with yourself and say, 'Here's my wish list and here are some things that are just deal breakers,'" says Ruth Claramunt, a traditional matchmaker in Toronto and Vancouver. Let other daters know what makes you tick by the way you describe yourself in your profile. If kissing a nicotine fiend turns your stomach, describe yourself as a non-smoker. If you can't see yourself with a couch potato, write about crossing the finish line in your first marathon. And if you're looking for something serious, don't post your profile in the "dating" and "intimate encounter" sections - be clear about what you want. That's how Megan Gold*, 28, found her husband on the Jewish dating site, JDate. "He liked the fact that we were both looking for the same thing - a serious relationship, not just a fling or dating," says the Toronto-based teacher.
