Dating Disservice

Dear Josey,

I’m a single 48-year-old woman and joined a dating agency for over two years. I have been very perseverant. I registered with them when I saw an article in a reputable daily newspaper. I’m a long distance runner and am quite fit and would obviously like to find a partner that is young looking, professional and fit. After $1,300.00 …YES you saw correctly….I have yet to meet anyone suitable from this service. They refuse to meet me again for an update or re-evaluation. I was told to be patient because, after all, I am 48 yrs old. If you could only see what I got as matches. Endless matches of pot-bellied, old men. My friends were aghast! What recourse do I have? Also, I have been burned very badly and would like to know if there is an agency out there who enjoys a sound reputation.

Dating Disservice

Dear Dating,

Let’s face it, people who make money off single people aren’t in it out of a singular desire to find you the person of your dreams and make you happy. Most are taking advantage of a vulnerable and easy market. You can pay dating agencies thousands of dollars to come up with more tailor-made and, theoretically, more successful matches for you. But buyer beware. A higher price doesn’t necessarily mean better service.

I know of one woman who became suspicious when the guy a dating agency arranged for her to meet kept avoiding their encounter. She really began to wonder when – after they finally did meet – she called him at home to thank him for the date and realized there was another woman there. When she asked him if he was married or living with someone, he didn’t answer. She told the agency she was suspect and they told her they’d check it out. Six months and 252 unreturned phone calls later, she realized she’s been had. And they still owed her two more dates. The company eventually closed down, the owner was investigated for fraud and she was out more than $1000.

Nothing makes you feel more pathetic than getting robbed blind by a dating agency while seeking a blind date. But for busy people who don’t have time to go through thousands of personal ads on or off line and who are tired of the bar scene an agency may be helpful. And if they’re not crooked, they can work. I’ve heard the success stories.

However, to avoid getting ripped off:

* Do your research. Check with the Consumer Protection Office to suss out the company’s record. According to the CPO, 63 per cent of matchmaking services go under in the first two years.

* Don’t think that bigger is necessarily better or more reputable. Most of the big agencies sell franchises that are run individually. A smaller, independent company with a lot of matchmaking experience (and the results to prove it) under their belt is a better choice.

* If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

* Go through your contract with a fine-tooth comb before signing. They can include sneaky clauses to get around their claim of guaranteeing you a match, like a clause saying you’re not a worthy candidate because you have kids (honest, some do this).

* Check out the services’ demographics. Ask to see pictures of potential matches and examples of success stories if possible before you sign.

* These services are not cheap. Be sure and exhaust other routes before going this route. You can buy a lot of online personal ad time for $1300.