The Man Whisperer

Who hasn’t dreamed of being able to train their man? Now you can, with our guide to getting him to do what you want—without him even knowing it! Here are the five easy steps to making your man sit, stay, and yield. We know you’re eager to get started, but before beginning any training regime, there are a few rules you need to know:

Step 1: “Play nice, honey!”
Never allow a man to push you around, scream at, or threaten you. Your partner’s respect is non-negotiable—not just for you but for your family and friends, too. For most of the male species, this shouldn’t take too long to instil; in the finest specimens, respect is innate.

Step 2: “Stay, sweetie!”
What could be more useful than getting your man to stay when he wants to run away—usually from dinner with high school friends, bra shopping, family brunch on New Year’s Day, etc. Teach your man the advantages of obeying this “suggestion”: meeting your old friends will deepen his understanding of you, shopping for bras together means going home with lingerie you both like, and attending family dinners means tasty food in his tummy. Make sure he understands the advantages of staying put, and you won’t even have to force him!

Step 3: “Time for a play date!”
Your man also needs a certain dose of liberty. Just as we like to see wild animals roaming free, we also like to see our man lapping up a well-deserved beer with his buddies. Even the strictest trainer has to let her man off his leash sometime—so what if that means football on the TV and nachos in his food dish? Letting him enjoy his liberty will make it easier to train him.

Step 4: “Bad boy!”
If your man misbehaves, then you have to let him know—subtly, of course. If your man leaves you a surprise on the carpet, let him know you’re displeased—don’t just scowl and keep your displeasure in check. Sulking is the least effective weapon in your arsenal. Instead, sit down with your partner and—without yelling or frightening him—address the issue calmly and quietly.

Step 5: “That’s a good boy!”
Positive reinforcement works well with most breeds of men. Know how to reward your man when he’s performed well. Did he make you dinner? Tell him how much you enjoyed it. If he gives you a massage, give him one, too. Treats and extra petting can go a long way.

Following our five steps should get your man doing your bidding without his even knowing it. But always remember that you’re both equal partners in your relationship. And don’t forget; your honey could be reading a similar article in a men’s magazine right now, getting ready to try out five easy techniques for keeping you in line.